Two years today since Mum died

[pippin_fort]

It is the second anniversary of my Mum's death today and whilst I have been slightly better this year than on the same day last year I have still had a very sad day. I went to see my Dad this morning and he was asleep on the loo for most of the time I was there despite the nursing staff trying to coax him out. He did come out briefly and looked terrified but walked the length of the corridor with me before returning to the loo. I tried to remain positive. He did at least kiss me but I finally admitted defeat having been there for an hour and spent 30 seconds with him. I decided to go to my Mum's grave on my own ( I have no other family around) and cried my heart out having said a prayer or two, sung to her a read a poem. I went home and phoned a friend who persuaded me to try and visit my dad again this afternoon. It was a slightly better visit in that he was with us for most of the time and he held my hand and kissed my Mum's rings which I wear. This made my friend cry which only made me more sad as the enormity of it all hit me. Not sure what to do to cheer myself up?

 

[Christin]

Hello Pippin, I am sorry to read your post. You have had such a difficult day.

I just wanted to send you a hug really, but wondered if you able to have a bit of a treat tomorrow? When things were very difficult, I found that walking with a friend, with tea and cake afterwards worked wonders and cheered me up. It still does. We are lucky that we have some countryside near to us.

Also after a difficult visit to my FIL, at weekends, we often went to the cinema on the way home.

What do you like to do?

Very best wishes. We all need a treat sometimes xx

 

[pippin_fort]

Thank you for your support. I already have a built in treat on Wednesdays. I attend a pottery class in the morning for a couple of hours and I love it. There is no one there who has any connection with my life so I can talk freely but generally get lost in the pottery. It is how I get through the week and I hang on to it for dear life. I also have wonderful friends but don't like to burden them too much. I have cried on 2 of them today already!!!

 

[Christin]

Hi, pottery sounds great and so do your friends. I wouldn't worry about the tears, your friends will know you are there for them too, when they need you.

Enjoy tomorrow x

 

[DeborahBlythe]

Hello Pippin, I just wanted to add my commiserations on today's anniversary. It's no fun getting through these anniversaries, and I really hope that today has warmed up a bit for you and brought some sunshine somewhere along the way. My mother used to do a pottery class when she retired, and I still have a little jug she made with her name scratched on the bottom. It's very dear to me. I wonder what things you like making?
Have a good day tomorrow, and please keep in touch. It must be awful worrying about your father too at a time like this. You take it easy and be kind to yourself. Love Deborah.

 

[pippin_fort]

I am so glad that you said that. At Christmas I made 2 special bowls for very dear friends who have helped me and I also gave individual christmas decorations to friends who have touched my heart by supporting me unquestioningly. I often wonder why people stick by me. I seem to have been crying for over two years but they do. I am blessed with special people around me but no family. Eventhough my heart is bleeding badly and I often feel alone I know that someone will always show me some kindness and I try to believe that they are angels sent by my Mum.

 

[DeborahBlythe]

I seem to have been crying for over two years

That's along time to be crying, Pippin, but I know what you mean. Maybe it's just that on a day like today everything comes back in sharper focus.

Your gifts sound lovely. I bet your friends were really pleased. I have some friends who have set up their own pottery business. Maybe you could think about doing that too?

There's something very heartwarming about handthrown pottery and each piece is pretty unique, I think. I don't know about angels, but there are lots of nice people around who would do the same if they knew you. And I am sure you help people yourself, and that you do so easily, on better days than this one. x