Two years to get this bad. What now?

dancer12

Registered User
Jan 9, 2017
498
0
Mississauga
Hi again. This really doesn't get any easier does it. I've read your replies and several times between you you've mentioned a sitter. I've been on that waiting list since December. I do have family though, I'm sure they could help, you know the way it should go, OK dad , well look after mum, you go out for a couple of hours, relax. Ha, this is the real world. And it looks like it's down to just the two of us. I could cope better if it wasn't for the anger issues she has, no matter what damage she causes she doesn't seem to have any idea of the consequences of her actions. Yesterday I had to buy a new vacuum cleaner, the old one having been damaged beyond repair during one of her darker moments. Today she insisted on buying another new tablet, that was barely charged before it was 'bounced' off the bedroom floor during an argument with our youngest daughter. Honestly, I'm beginning to wonder how much more I can take. I feel it's only a matter of time before either myself or my daughter ends up on the receiving end of one of her tempers. She's really having trouble, I can't say controlling her temper, I'm sure she doesn't even realise what she's doing. Just yesterday in our local supermarket she was just a few feet in front of me when, once again another, uncalled for, bad tempered moment, she pushed her shopping trolley as hard as she could away from her, well, she proved then that she had some idea of consequences otherwise why did she then run after it. No harm done that time either, but next time? I will make an appointment with the dr, I am somewhat overdue. I'll see her first then I'll also make an appointment for my wife, which we'll both attend. We've come a long way in two and a half years, looking back it's incredible how much things have changed. It does make me wonder what the next two and a half years will bring. Its best not to dwell on it , that way madness really does lie. So, I certainly feel better for offloading on to you all, who knows, now the weather has cooled off things might improve for a while. Told you I was an optimist Al.

Hi:

Is it your wife with the temper, your daughter with the temper or both. Just keep in mind that things escalate in a hurry and things get said in moments of anger that can never be unsaid and get misunderstood. Talk to her doctor about getting a sitter for your wife and be adamant about it that it's totally necessary. That you all need it. The squeaky wheel always gets the grease.

Take care. Let there be better days ahead. :)
 

AL60

Registered User
Oct 14, 2016
509
0
Cheshire
Hi:

Is it your wife with the temper, your daughter with the temper or both. Just keep in mind that things escalate in a hurry and things get said in moments of anger that can never be unsaid and get misunderstood. Talk to her doctor about getting a sitter for your wife and be adamant about it that it's totally necessary. That you all need it. The squeaky wheel always gets the grease.

Take care. Let there be better days ahead. :)

Hi. I'm not going to say my daughter and I have never lost our tempers but I can say that the last number of times this has happened we've both taken a step back and said nothing to provoke and make things worse. In some ways, the speed that her temper and the anger she shows happen so fast, we've both decided it's best to sit back , say nothing and let it pass. It feels safer that way. To argue back is futile and pointless as she just doesn't understand. Once things calm down we try to discuss and explain things but very often it doesn't take much of a trigger to set things off again. Oh well, another day looms ahead, I'm not particularly looking forward to it but then why single today out. I'll make the Dr's appointment today. Al.
 

AL60

Registered User
Oct 14, 2016
509
0
Cheshire
Hi again. Well, as days go that one wasn't too bad. I've got sore feet from walking on eggshells all day but at least there have been no major upsets. It doesn't take much to upset her, something like not being able to get Netflix on her tablet can be all it takes. Usually all i have to do is take it off flight mode then all's well again, for a while anyway. I've just been going over some of my earlier posts. Seven months have gone by, it feels more like seven years. And the optimism i must have felt at that time, i honestly thought that after the formal diagnosis things would get better. Things did seem to start moving for a while. I get the impression that if we seem ok when they call on us on their monthly visits then all is well, boxes are ticked and we're left to our own devices for another few weeks. This actually suits my wife as she sees their visits as an intrusion, she doesn't understand why they have to come at all. I think I need a break. Its a crime if i meet someone while out, it's an even bigger crime if i ring someone to chat. I just dont get it. She has stopped socialising, if you call one evening a month at tg with friends, it was a small break for me. When filling the calendar at the start of the month that was always the first thing to write in. The third Tuesday of every month, seven 'til nineheaven. Now like everything else, it's boring. I do try to keep her interested, we go out regularly to all the places she used to enjoy but its plain to see she's lost all interest. It does feel strange, I'm the same old me, a bit frazzled around the edges, nothing really changed. And there's my other half, changed beyond all recognition, three and a half stones lighter, not interested in anything or anyone, doesn't remember events day to day yet keeps talking about the car i reversed into on the supermarket car park, it didn't happen, i just dont get it. Im sorry for going on, it helps to write it down and share with others. In many ways im glad we can still look back on the forty something years behind us. When you see and read of recent events in the news i am thankful that we've had something of a charmed life, until now. We'll carry on, muddle through and make the best of things, im sure we'll be fine.Al.
 

dancer12

Registered User
Jan 9, 2017
498
0
Mississauga
Hi again. Well, as days go that one wasn't too bad. I've got sore feet from walking on eggshells all day but at least there have been no major upsets. It doesn't take much to upset her, something like not being able to get Netflix on her tablet can be all it takes. Usually all i have to do is take it off flight mode then all's well again, for a while anyway. I've just been going over some of my earlier posts. Seven months have gone by, it feels more like seven years. And the optimism i must have felt at that time, i honestly thought that after the formal diagnosis things would get better. Things did seem to start moving for a while. I get the impression that if we seem ok when they call on us on their monthly visits then all is well, boxes are ticked and we're left to our own devices for another few weeks. This actually suits my wife as she sees their visits as an intrusion, she doesn't understand why they have to come at all. I think I need a break. Its a crime if i meet someone while out, it's an even bigger crime if i ring someone to chat. I just dont get it. She has stopped socialising, if you call one evening a month at tg with friends, it was a small break for me. When filling the calendar at the start of the month that was always the first thing to write in. The third Tuesday of every month, seven 'til nineheaven. Now like everything else, it's boring. I do try to keep her interested, we go out regularly to all the places she used to enjoy but its plain to see she's lost all interest. It does feel strange, I'm the same old me, a bit frazzled around the edges, nothing really changed. And there's my other half, changed beyond all recognition, three and a half stones lighter, not interested in anything or anyone, doesn't remember events day to day yet keeps talking about the car i reversed into on the supermarket car park, it didn't happen, i just dont get it. Im sorry for going on, it helps to write it down and share with others. In many ways im glad we can still look back on the forty something years behind us. When you see and read of recent events in the news i am thankful that we've had something of a charmed life, until now. We'll carry on, muddle through and make the best of things, im sure we'll be fine.Al.

Hi:

It's like they've all been cloned. Maybe the martians zapped them up, duplicated them & returned the clones to us. I still have my cup & a huge bottle of apple wine, better pour myself a cup before the clone police get me too. Don't ever be sorry about going on so much it helps you and others as well. It's a coping mechanism just like my kidding & joking is to me. :)
 

AL60

Registered User
Oct 14, 2016
509
0
Cheshire
Hi:

It's like they've all been cloned. Maybe the martians zapped them up, duplicated them & returned the clones to us. I still have my cup & a huge bottle of apple wine, better pour myself a cup before the clone police get me too. Don't ever be sorry about going on so much it helps you and others as well. It's a coping mechanism just like my kidding & joking is to me. :)

Hi. Yes, clones, I don't mind the martians duplicating them, then sending them back to us but why do they have to send them back to us so different. The apple wine sounds good, it's a chilled glass of beer that does it for me. Sorry about sounding sorry for myself it really is out of character for me. People who know me seem to think nothing gets me down, always up for a laugh, nothing ever bothers me. But they only see the outside of me. No one knows whats going on on the inside, how I really feel, I'm good at keeping that bottled up. Not healthy I know but how can I change, it's who I am. The job of caring is slowly but surely wearing me down. I do try to see the funny side of most things, maybe not at the time but later when have time to myself and think back, then maybe smile. Anyway, today hasn't gone too badly so I'll sleep better telling myself that tomorrow may be even bettersee, my glass is half full again Al.
 

PalSal

Registered User
Dec 4, 2011
972
0
Pratteln Switzerland
Hi again. Certainly wasn't intending to post again so soon. But as it's the wrong side of midnight and once again find sleep isn't coming easy tonight, this seemed a good idea. It's looking to me as though we really are all in this together. So many similarities everywhere on this site. It could be seen as depressing, or, it could be seen as a wealth of useful information. I have a question, and I know someone, somewhere out there will have a number of ideas and suggestions for me. Mealtimes are becoming a nightmare. Just lately the food smells funny, it's too hot ,it's not hot enough, is this the one we normally have, it just doesn't taste right, the plates, cups etc smell perfumed. To me it seems just an excuse not to eat. And believe me it's any excuse not to eat. But any amount of junk goes down a treat. I know the obvious answers, don't buy the crisps, chocolate, cake and biscuits. You try stopping her. It's like having a very grown up child. If food isn't hot enough, heat it, no, can't have that. If it's too hot , let it stand, good grief no, can't have it its too hot. You just can't reason with her. And that's only meal times. This isn't working, I'm even more awake now. The reason I'm concerned about her lack of normal appetite is over the last couple of years she's lost about forty lbs give or take. It's important too that she has a nutritional diet now more so than ever. But try telling her that. I know that there are lots of things I could try but one of the problems is that she doesn't like change. Just keeping to the tried and tested isn't working. If she had the choice she'd have beans on toast every meal. I've wondered if the dementia has altered her sense of taste. Anyway, best go now. Croissants for breakfast, can't go wrong there, can I? Al

Our doctor just told me to try to get him to eat at least one good meal per day if possible.....if not ice cream was just fine. He loves his Movenpick and eats vast quantities of it for the last 10 years. He requires tempting. I just figure what does any of that matter now. He can eat whatever he likes.......I do not care if he has a well balanced meal, for me that just does not matter anymore. I try to get as much protein in him as I can, but in the end that is not going to change this process. He is very much thinner than when we started this journey but physically my OH is extremely fit. So, I just keep doing what I am doing
 

AL60

Registered User
Oct 14, 2016
509
0
Cheshire
Our doctor just told me to try to get him to eat at least one good meal per day if possible.....if not ice cream was just fine. He loves his Movenpick and eats vast quantities of it for the last 10 years. He requires tempting. I just figure what does any of that matter now. He can eat whatever he likes.......I do not care if he has a well balanced meal, for me that just does not matter anymore. I try to get as much protein in him as I can, but in the end that is not going to change this process. He is very much thinner than when we started this journey but physically my OH is extremely fit. So, I just keep doing what I am doing

Hi. Things have moved on a bit since the post you're referring to. Her eating problem certainly isn't getting any better, if I didn't know any better I'd say she was borderline anorexic. I too was thinking as long as she eats something it can only be a good thing. However, even the cakes are left on the plate now. Whenever the main mealtime comes along, all she will eat is boiled potatoes and grated Cheese! I can't seem to tempt her with anything. It's a constant worry and will be at the top of the agenda when I take her to the Dr's a week on Friday. I'd best go now as shes now up and about. She's trying to flush the toilet over and over. It's because I put those bloo toilet blocks into the cistern. Now she keeps trying to flush until the water runs clear. Thank goodness we're not on a metered supplyAl.
 

dancer12

Registered User
Jan 9, 2017
498
0
Mississauga
Hi. Yes, clones, I don't mind the martians duplicating them, then sending them back to us but why do they have to send them back to us so different. The apple wine sounds good, it's a chilled glass of beer that does it for me. Sorry about sounding sorry for myself it really is out of character for me. People who know me seem to think nothing gets me down, always up for a laugh, nothing ever bothers me. But they only see the outside of me. No one knows whats going on on the inside, how I really feel, I'm good at keeping that bottled up. Not healthy I know but how can I change, it's who I am. The job of caring is slowly but surely wearing me down. I do try to see the funny side of most things, maybe not at the time but later when have time to myself and think back, then maybe smile. Anyway, today hasn't gone too badly so I'll sleep better telling myself that tomorrow may be even bettersee, my glass is half full again Al.

Hi:

They haven't perfected the cloning process yet, they are still in the experimental stages. If they catch me & clone me I hope they clone me as a bobble head, the ones that their heads go up & down to say YES & left to right when they mean NO. No words equals no arguments. I was trained to listen to people talk About 6 months ago an organization came to our library meeting and asked for volunteers to call people on the phone who couldn't get out of their homes due in illness. Just to chit chat, I volunteered, they trained me for 3 whole days. I had to get a police check & everything. Now I'm a professional chit chatter. You are right it is better to get things out and not keep them bottled up and it's easier when you feel you will not be judged. She most likely feels the same way. Keep pestering her doctor for a sitter for her, she might surprise you and ask you when she/he is coming back? If you can get this in place you'll be more relaxed. She might even eat more. In the meantime keep smiling.:)
 

AL60

Registered User
Oct 14, 2016
509
0
Cheshire
Hi:

They haven't perfected the cloning process yet, they are still in the experimental stages. If they catch me & clone me I hope they clone me as a bobble head, the ones that their heads go up & down to say YES & left to right when they mean NO. No words equals no arguments. I was trained to listen to people talk About 6 months ago an organization came to our library meeting and asked for volunteers to call people on the phone who couldn't get out of their homes due in illness. Just to chit chat, I volunteered, they trained me for 3 whole days. I had to get a police check & everything. Now I'm a professional chit chatter. You are right it is better to get things out and not keep them bottled up and it's easier when you feel you will not be judged. She most likely feels the same way. Keep pestering her doctor for a sitter for her, she might surprise you and ask you when she/he is coming back? If you can get this in place you'll be more relaxed. She might even eat more. In the meantime keep smiling.:)

Hi. If they get me I just hope they send me back as an agreeable clone, I'd hate to put the rest of my family through what I'm having to go through. Today has been another reasonable day. Though I nearly slipped up, I just happened to notice a fledgling blackbird in the back garden, it's parents we're fussing around watching over it. Come and have a look at this , I said, well that was the trigger. We don't want birds in the garden, get them out, throw them over the fence, let me out I'll get rid of them. Oh dear, I can't find the key, oh , anyway, they just flew away. And that's how it is. Say the wrong thing and away we go. The rest of the day was fairly uneventful though. Had a chat with her about eating, trying to find if she'd like to try something different. No, potatoes and cheese will be fine. If I do her a sandwich she opens them up and eats the filling with a knife and fork then throws the bread away. Enough for this post, I've decided to have an early night , we're going out tomorrow, my sister in law is coming with us too, share the workload I'll let you know how it goes. Al..
 

AL60

Registered User
Oct 14, 2016
509
0
Cheshire
Hi..... I can't do this post tonight. I don't know why, nothing has changed, if anything today has been a good day. My wife was taken out for lunch with some of her oldest friends, one o'clock until nearly five, I didn't know what to do with myself I didn't waste my time, it was well spent washing, cleaning and tidying up. Ha, perhaps I did waste my time. Then they brought her home. They told me what she hadn't eaten. For a long time now it seems she's been powered by cake. Now it seems she's lost her taste even for that. Yesterday I took her and her sister for tea and cake, my wife left hers, it wasn't nice. Today I threw out an out of date coffee and walnut cake into the bin. Honestly, if you could see her now compared with just two years ago, it's a constant worry. Nothing seems to taste right for her. If I tell you what her weight was a couple of years ago, she wasn't far behind me at ninety kilos, she's now down to just under sixty. But as she's eating less and less, the weight loss seems to be increasing. I can't make her eat, I can only prepare food I know that she likes. Trouble is, that list gets shorter and shorter. Cheese and new potatoes, soup, rice pudding, crisps and chocolate. Everything else is now deemed disgusting. I'm aware that a change of taste and loss of appetite is par for the course with dementia but I can't help worrying that this will be here downfall before anything else. I started this post tonight by saying, I can't do this post tonight, well, it seems I have. I also stated nothing has changed. Well it has, cake is now off the menu. If she loses her taste for cheese and potatoes then I fear the battle really will be lost. Let's hope that never happens. Al.
 

Aisling

Registered User
Dec 5, 2015
1,804
0
Ireland
Hi..... I can't do this post tonight. I don't know why, nothing has changed, if anything today has been a good day. My wife was taken out for lunch with some of her oldest friends, one o'clock until nearly five, I didn't know what to do with myself I didn't waste my time, it was well spent washing, cleaning and tidying up. Ha, perhaps I did waste my time. Then they brought her home. They told me what she hadn't eaten. For a long time now it seems she's been powered by cake. Now it seems she's lost her taste even for that. Yesterday I took her and her sister for tea and cake, my wife left hers, it wasn't nice. Today I threw out an out of date coffee and walnut cake into the bin. Honestly, if you could see her now compared with just two years ago, it's a constant worry. Nothing seems to taste right for her. If I tell you what her weight was a couple of years ago, she wasn't far behind me at ninety kilos, she's now down to just under sixty. But as she's eating less and less, the weight loss seems to be increasing. I can't make her eat, I can only prepare food I know that she likes. Trouble is, that list gets shorter and shorter. Cheese and new potatoes, soup, rice pudding, crisps and chocolate. Everything else is now deemed disgusting. I'm aware that a change of taste and loss of appetite is par for the course with dementia but I can't help worrying that this will be here downfall before anything else. I started this post tonight by saying, I can't do this post tonight, well, it seems I have. I also stated nothing has changed. Well it has, cake is now off the menu. If she loses her taste for cheese and potatoes then I fear the battle really will be lost. Let's hope that never happens. Al.


Hi Al,

Nothing wrong with soup, rice pudding cheese and potatoes. You are doing your best. Accept any help you are offered. When she opens the sandwich, eats filling, throws away the bread, then let it be. There is absolutely no point in trying to explain about food etc. Just exhausting for you. Keep in regular touch with GP. Keep posting and shout for help from other professionals...

I think semolina is similar to rice? Custard? Present it with no explanations and see what happens. Maybe yoghurt.?

Sending you huge support.

Aisling ( Ireland)
 

dancer12

Registered User
Jan 9, 2017
498
0
Mississauga
Hi..... I can't do this post tonight. I don't know why, nothing has changed, if anything today has been a good day. My wife was taken out for lunch with some of her oldest friends, one o'clock until nearly five, I didn't know what to do with myself I didn't waste my time, it was well spent washing, cleaning and tidying up. Ha, perhaps I did waste my time. Then they brought her home. They told me what she hadn't eaten. For a long time now it seems she's been powered by cake. Now it seems she's lost her taste even for that. Yesterday I took her and her sister for tea and cake, my wife left hers, it wasn't nice. Today I threw out an out of date coffee and walnut cake into the bin. Honestly, if you could see her now compared with just two years ago, it's a constant worry. Nothing seems to taste right for her. If I tell you what her weight was a couple of years ago, she wasn't far behind me at ninety kilos, she's now down to just under sixty. But as she's eating less and less, the weight loss seems to be increasing. I can't make her eat, I can only prepare food I know that she likes. Trouble is, that list gets shorter and shorter. Cheese and new potatoes, soup, rice pudding, crisps and chocolate. Everything else is now deemed disgusting. I'm aware that a change of taste and loss of appetite is par for the course with dementia but I can't help worrying that this will be here downfall before anything else. I started this post tonight by saying, I can't do this post tonight, well, it seems I have. I also stated nothing has changed. Well it has, cake is now off the menu. If she loses her taste for cheese and potatoes then I fear the battle really will be lost. Let's hope that never happens. Al.

Hi:

So sorry to hear about all your woes, you sound all worn out. Just ask yourself 2 questions 1) what would make my glass of beer full again instead of half full. Is it someone doing some tidying up, cleaning etc. or is it your wife eating more (somehow I believe it is the latter) and 2) how can this be achieved, is it the doctor talking to her and explaining her options or is it cooking softer foods, maybe her teeth or gums are sore or maybe she's scared to eat. Food for thought. Her doctor should be able to help. Take care. :)
 

AL60

Registered User
Oct 14, 2016
509
0
Cheshire
Hi. At last I think the cavalry are coming to the rescue. We had a visit today from the clinic nurse. At long last they are putting things in place for practical help. As usual my wife is in full agreement, at least until the clinic staff have left, then it starts all over again, we don't need any help, we don't want to have strangers here and so on and so on. I'm used to it now. She'll be OK with it. She'll have to be. Had a phone call from an old family friend earlier this evening. He asked if it would be OK if he and his wife came to visit, of course I said yes. My wife overhead and asked who it was. The reaction when I told her was totally expected. No way was she seeing them! Uh oh thought I, this could be awkward, she started to collect her things together so she could disappear upstairs, but too late, there was a knock at the door. I opened it and invited them in. Instantly my wife became a completely different person. Hi, she said come on in. Needless to say we had a nice evening between us. Proper friends. I have no doubt that she will be the same with people who come to help, I hope so anyway. When the nurse came today she asked how well my wife was eating. Before I could say anything my oh said ,fine, eating well. I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself and told them how it really was. It didn't go down too well but it had to be said. It must have been on her mind at tea time, she went on and on about how it was all my fault for not feeding her! How I hate dementia. Anyway, to provide a point she asked for an extra large meal, I obliged, an hour later it was consigned to the bin. Not eating, not drinking not good.enough for now, Al
 

AL60

Registered User
Oct 14, 2016
509
0
Cheshire
Hi:

So sorry to hear about all your woes, you sound all worn out. Just ask yourself 2 questions 1) what would make my glass of beer full again instead of half full. Is it someone doing some tidying up, cleaning etc. or is it your wife eating more (somehow I believe it is the latter) and 2) how can this be achieved, is it the doctor talking to her and explaining her options or is it cooking softer foods, maybe her teeth or gums are sore or maybe she's scared to eat. Food for thought. Her doctor should be able to help. Take care. :)

Hi. You're quite right, it is the latter, I don't think it's a problem with teeth or gums. I think it's just that her tastes have changed and she's totally lost interest in eating. For a while she was only interested in cake and sweet things but that seems to have changed now. Her weight loss appears to be accelerating, she's bordering on anorexia. I've made a Dr's appointment for a week on Friday and diet will be top of the agenda. I'll keep you posted, thank you for listening. Al.
 

AL60

Registered User
Oct 14, 2016
509
0
Cheshire
Hi Al,

Nothing wrong with soup, rice pudding cheese and potatoes. You are doing your best. Accept any help you are offered. When she opens the sandwich, eats filling, throws away the bread, then let it be. There is absolutely no point in trying to explain about food etc. Just exhausting for you. Keep in regular touch with GP. Keep posting and shout for help from other professionals...

I think semolina is similar to rice? Custard? Present it with no explanations and see what happens. Maybe yoghurt.?

Sending you huge support.

Aisling ( Ireland)

Hi. You're right, there's no reasoning with her, all I can do is put on her plate something she might eat, even then it's unusual if she eats it all. Very often she'll ask for something, I'll prepare it, serve it to her then the next thing I know it's pushed to one side untouched, it's not what I thought it was! This happens often. Sometimes it's left just because it's too hot. I often think it's just an excuse not to eat. I don't think I'll ever truly understand. Anyway, time to sleep, Al.
 

dancer12

Registered User
Jan 9, 2017
498
0
Mississauga
Hi:

Hi. At last I think the cavalry are coming to the rescue. We had a visit today from the clinic nurse. At long last they are putting things in place for practical help. As usual my wife is in full agreement, at least until the clinic staff have left, then it starts all over again, we don't need any help, we don't want to have strangers here and so on and so on. I'm used to it now. She'll be OK with it. She'll have to be. Had a phone call from an old family friend earlier this evening. He asked if it would be OK if he and his wife came to visit, of course I said yes. My wife overhead and asked who it was. The reaction when I told her was totally expected. No way was she seeing them! Uh oh thought I, this could be awkward, she started to collect her things together so she could disappear upstairs, but too late, there was a knock at the door. I opened it and invited them in. Instantly my wife became a completely different person. Hi, she said come on in. Needless to say we had a nice evening between us. Proper friends. I have no doubt that she will be the same with people who come to help, I hope so anyway. When the nurse came today she asked how well my wife was eating. Before I could say anything my oh said ,fine, eating well. I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself and told them how it really was. It didn't go down too well but it had to be said. It must have been on her mind at tea time, she went on and on about how it was all my fault for not feeding her! How I hate dementia. Anyway, to provide a point she asked for an extra large meal, I obliged, an hour later it was consigned to the bin. Not eating, not drinking not good.enough for now, Al

Hi:

There seems to be more pop in your post. Glad to hear things are going better. :)
 

vannesser

Registered User
Apr 4, 2016
436
0
Food

My ho as vascular dementia only diagnosed April last year .he don't eat mutch if I cook stuff he won't eat veg don't like potatas mutch only likes chicken fillets witch we have every Sunday.he just has chicken a few potatoes no veg and Yorkshire puddings .rest of week if I say I cooking meat and veg he say he won't sandwiches of cheese or scrambled eggs.he use to eat most things but just lives on sandwiches and porridge most of time .hope he starts eating better soon .we don't have enyone visit us we only see doctor abought his diabetes some times
 

Cherryade

Registered User
Jul 27, 2015
53
0
My friend was diagnosed with Alz last year at the age of 61. Even long before then I had had conversations with her regarding what she ate. Basically she has survived on crisps, coke and prawn mayonnaise for well over a year - with no weight loss. It is impossible to get her to eat anything else. I have given up on the basis that at least she is eating something.
 

AL60

Registered User
Oct 14, 2016
509
0
Cheshire
Hi. I've had several attempts at posting over the last few days and each one has ended with me hitting the delete button. There's no guarantee you'll get to read this one but if you don't, at least you'll know why. That was my attempt at humour, something that has been lacking in my life of late. I don't particularly enjoy writing these self pitying posts on here, there are many much worse off than we are. So as I lie here, in my room listening to my wife's half hearted attempts at washing and dressing all I can think of is what the coming day will bring.. I do know that I too should be up and helping her to get ready but any such offer of assistance is met with what can only be described as a torrent of abuse. After all, there's nothing wrong with Her, it's only dementia. She's now even stopped drinking tea. If you know her like I do you would say, that's equal to giving up breathing! Once again, it never tastes right, OK, she now pours herself a glass or cup of milk instead, which is fine but if she actually drank it it would be even better. I'm finding them everywhere in various stages of decomposure, really, In this warm weather she still insists on wearing winter clothing, she needs to put the fluid back somehow! But like everything else in her life, she just doesn't understand. If I try to help or advise, then I'm met with,,,,,, well I'm sure you can imagine. So, the plan for this morning? I have one of those five pound vouchers for a well known British store that sells a rather good range of food too. So I'll take her there just to see if I can tempt her into getting something she might just eat. I tried it last week, we came back with a collection of cake and biscuits. Most of the cake was consigned to the bin, yes she's still off cake, I had to help with the biscuits, I see it as my duty. Now she's given up drinking tea, the biscuits have lost their appeal, they don't dunk the same. So, time to face the day, no appointments planned for today so I can concentrate all my efforts into doing something positive. First job, kettle on and take it from there, there's no way I could ever give up my morning cuppa, yet who'd have thought my wife ever could? Certainly not me. Al.
 

Philbo

Registered User
Feb 28, 2017
853
0
Kent
Hi Al

Keep up the good work mate. Though your posts are often harrowing, I am always impressed by your dogged sense of humour.:)

Very few people realise the depths of despair we go through on a daily basis (except, of course, TP forum users). Many of us caring for our loved ones or family members are in permanent hostess mode to the outside world.

Kind regards
Phil