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I too am trying to sell a lovely holiday to him, it worked last time so cross fingers for this time.I really hope OH behaves nicely tomorrow and doesn't put them off accepting him!!
I intend 'selling' him the concept of what a lovely place it is before going, hoping to create positive anticipation!
Yes he is and the lady who came to see him at home to assess his needs had known him the last time. I can’t do any more to try and get him well looked after while I have a much needed break. I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown earlier this week but have settled down a bit now with the usual readjustment to his behaviour.Is he going back to same place?
Hi Jenniferjean , you’re not turning nasty, we’re only human, why should we have to put a brave face on all the time just because we don’t want people to think CFC moaning all time when it’s not us that’s ill, I had a text earlier about going to a relatives housewarming party, so instead of making up some excuse like I usually do, I sent a rather long text back explaining exactly why I couldn’t go! I think they got a wake up call because I then got a text back offering support and help of any kind if I needed it! XWell I think I am turning into a nasty person. I had a personal message on Facebook from my sister saying that they are away on holiday for a few days but didn't want to advertise that fact on Facebook because of insurance. But she included a photo of the lovely scenery.
I answered the message saying that I hoped they had a lovely time. I could have left it at that, but no, I had to add "we can't do holidays anymore". I feel mean and spiteful now, after all it's not her fault my husband has dementia. I went on just now to try and delete it but she's already seen it.
Yesterday I found a photograph of my husband with his two sisters that I took 30 years ago. He looked so handsome upright and smiling between his two beloved sisters and I just wept for the man he was up to a couple of years ago. Now one sister is thousands of miles away and can’t come to see him and the other is a hundred miles away and hasn’t been to see him. Neither can face up to what has happened. So photographs can be very painful for me but he loves looking at them.I try to remember the person he was, it gets more hazy
Hi everyone, I know Dementia can turn the person with it into a different nasty person, but now my OH illness is turning me into one! Yesterday morning a neighbor called to pick up a parcel I’d taken in for her earlier in the week, she then proceeded to tell me what seemed like every detail of the wonderful holiday she and her husband had just been on, I felt like screaming at her to shut up and didn’t she know what I was going through! Then later in the day I got a text from my cousin showing them lounging by the pool in Mexico with cocktails in hand, I felt so resentful! Both couples are about our age ( early 70s) It’s not so much the holidays I resent as the fact that they can still enjoy life together! And now I feel guilty for being so jealous.
It's reassuring to read all these posts and see that we're all in similar situations - the really sad thing is that our beautiful relationships with our loved ones have to have this horrible end where we are bad tempered, frustrated, resentful, etc. And the personality of our loved one changes to that of a person we barely recognise. As someone said in one of the posts you could never have imagined that this was how your life was going to be. I try to remember the person he was, it gets more hazy, I would give anything just to have a couple of hours with the man that he used to be, to have the conversations that we used to have with the intelligent, caring person that he was. Now it's like looking after a self centred child who can't do anything for themselves and who thinks the world resolves around them and their needs!! When he's in chatty mood I have to listen to all the rambling nonsense, I simply can't understand what he's trying to say. He doesn't understand anything I'm trying to tell him - so I've stop telling him things because what's the point.