Today I spent Christmas day with my mum who went into a care home back in November after I cared for her for 11 years ( the last two with a diagnosis of vascular dementia)
I was invited to join mum for lunch and tea which I did, thinking it would be nice and an easy day. It was a million times harder than I ever imagined it to be. The home and staff were absolutely wonderful and created a magical day , not unlike they do every day, they are angels and I know mum receives exceptional care. Why is it then I feel so awful, the meal was perfect, the atmosphere wonderful but the problem was the dementia. God, how I hate the disease. My mum couldn't believe it was Christmas day, the presents she unwrapped she didn't want opening (chocolates, soaps, talcs etc) I was to leave them so she could take them home with her. She mentioned home more times in this one day than she has since she went in the home. She couldn't understand why she needed help all the time, despite the fact her mobility is almost zero and she told me to let go of her when I tried to help. All I want is my mum back and Christmas day to be like it used to be. So the Turkey has been eaten and now I'm at home with the tears and the emotional turmoil that accompanies my frustrations and lack of patience with mums behaviour. All I know is that tomorrow, mum will more than likely as different again, but I won't be :-(
I was invited to join mum for lunch and tea which I did, thinking it would be nice and an easy day. It was a million times harder than I ever imagined it to be. The home and staff were absolutely wonderful and created a magical day , not unlike they do every day, they are angels and I know mum receives exceptional care. Why is it then I feel so awful, the meal was perfect, the atmosphere wonderful but the problem was the dementia. God, how I hate the disease. My mum couldn't believe it was Christmas day, the presents she unwrapped she didn't want opening (chocolates, soaps, talcs etc) I was to leave them so she could take them home with her. She mentioned home more times in this one day than she has since she went in the home. She couldn't understand why she needed help all the time, despite the fact her mobility is almost zero and she told me to let go of her when I tried to help. All I want is my mum back and Christmas day to be like it used to be. So the Turkey has been eaten and now I'm at home with the tears and the emotional turmoil that accompanies my frustrations and lack of patience with mums behaviour. All I know is that tomorrow, mum will more than likely as different again, but I won't be :-(