Trying to make things easy

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by KateJulia, Feb 26, 2015.

  1. KateJulia

    KateJulia Registered User

    Feb 26, 2015
    1
    Hi
    My husband of 52 years has Dementia now. Sadly its heart breaking watching him slowly deteriorate before my eyes to a person that has changed from the wonderful loving person I once knew into the person he is now. He is still my one love and always will be. Yes I do get frustrated and tired at times, but then you have to rally around again and look after him. When I have moments of despair (and these are mostly when trying to go to sleep) I try to take my mind back to when we first met and how crazy I felt about him and try to remind myself that it is this dreadful illness that is causing all the problems now. When I feeling low I also try to think of the lovely holidays we spent together Also he did some wonderful things for me in our home. He has always looked after me and kept me safe so now its my turn to pay back for some of things he did for me.

    I am learning to try and cope with his illness by changing our lifestyle. Getting him to use a bucket at night in the bedroom (this stops me worrying about him falling on the tiles in the bathroom), and I bought a washable doormat to put under the bucket. He does wear panty pads supplied by the clinic (this helps as then I am not nagging him to go and changed his pants so much). I bought these 'pull-on' trainer trousers (easy to wash). I bought nice fluffy throws to go over the furniture (easy to wash). I bought the chains with the crocodile clips off the web to hold his napkin (like the ones the dentist uses).

    Its still very hard for everyone who is living with this illness but I am fortunate with the help of my two wonderful daughters we get buy for now.
     
  2. sleepless

    sleepless Registered User

    Feb 19, 2010
    3,223
    Female
    The Sweet North
    Hello KateJulia, and welcome to TP.
    Your strategies are amost exactly the same as mine at the moment, but my husband is a good twenty years older than yours (diagnosed 2003.)
    It is so sad when someone develops dementia at a young age like your husband, but ir sounds as though you are giving him loving care.
    As you can guess by my name, I too have trouble sleeping sometimes, but although we do need to change with the illness, it helps not to look too far ahead. Enjoy today as much as possible, and do please keep posting.
     
  3. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,776
    Salford
    Hi KateJulia welcome to the club
    Nice to see you taking a practical view and finding solutions to the problems in such a pragmatic way. There are a number of products which can be painted onto ceramic floors which reduce how slippery the floor gets when wet, I've never used them but a friend used on the floor of her mother's house and raved about it, another option would be to have a vinyl floor laid over the tiles which could be removed at a later date and the original floor reinstated as lose laid vinyl shouldn't damage it.
    You said "My husband of 52 years" I read this as he has been your husband for 52 years so mid 70's probably (I guess), sleepless says her husband is 20 years older and talks about he being diagnosed at a young age so is he 52 or have you been married for 52 years?
    K
     
  4. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    KatieJulia; your post give me courage! I'm in my sixth year of living with this, and hubby is 82. It is a hard road at times, but with the help and support of the lovely people on here, we will all make it through.

    All the very best to you.
     
  5. sleepless

    sleepless Registered User

    Feb 19, 2010
    3,223
    Female
    The Sweet North
    Oops! Sorry if I read your post wrong KateJulia (and I think I did) -- I thought your husband was 52 years old, but I seen now, thanks to Kevin, that you have been married for 52 years? Apologies.
     
  6. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    5,725
    North Somerset
    Just joining in to welcome you to TP. You will find a great deal of support and advice here and we all know how you feel.
     
  7. WIFE

    WIFE Registered User

    May 23, 2014
    856
    WEST SUSSEX
    Adding my support KateJulia - Naturally it sometimes gets on top of one but I feel we develop coping mechanisms as the disease progresses. Hope you still manage to have a some laughs and affection even if at times the beloved's behaviour can be extremely baffling. Thinking of you.
     

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