I have just come home from seeing my mum and step father, it’s his birthday today 80, he has vascular dementia. Ive posted previous how my mum is struggling but this evening I’ve seen him in action, swearing very loudly whilst out at a social club,( luckily they understand) but he demands from my mum, ordering her about if she doesn’t get his drink he wants then he swears at her and is vocally aggressive, he is now constantly talking about SEX, mum told me that the previous night he demanded sex ( this had been none existent for 30 plus years) when she declined and tried to explain its been too many years etc he tried kicking her out the bed and being generally very nasty, she has said he has pushed her but not hit her, she grabbed hold of him to stop herself falling out the bed ( she is disabled) and has bruised his arm, she is saying she can’t go on much longer and we don’t know half the abuse, everything is Tom do with sex and this is to anyone, he is quite vulgar. He will not cut down on drinking weekends, he is insisting on going to the social club weekdays which they have never done before and mum is tiring, she said she is beginning to hate him, she is disabled and suffers with panic attacks and depression herself. Any advise ? He won’t have any help in the house , he won’t go to clubs or respite etc thanks in advance x worried daughter