My dad is 95 and has been my 86 year old mothers main carer for the last 25 years since she was diagnosed with MS. Dad is now showing signs of advanced dementia - doesn't know what rooms are what, wants to know when he's going home even though he is already there, scared by his reflection, forgets to drink, leaves the gas ring on, the doors unlocked, forgets who his wife is, becomes very agitated as the day goes on and has very disturbed sleep pattern. His condition has really accelerated over the last month. He is now constantly falling and unable to care for himself let alone mum. The problem is they won't admit how bad things are and mum seems to think she can care for herself which she hasn't done for 25 years - she's wheelchair bound and neither of them have been out of the house for a year -unless being taken to hospital. My brother and sister in-law live close by and are being driven into the ground by trying to care for them and have some kind of life themselves. We are trying to get my dad assessed but it is so slow and the mental health unit just delayed his appointment until March - his GP is so slow and chasing up the assessment is low on his priority list. We have asked mum and dad to consider respite care for two weeks following dad having multiple falls and the Christmas period from hell! They just won't have it, a care home is just not their cup of tea, we asked them to consider having carers in more than three times a week and they said they don't need it - they both think they are fine as they are. How can we get them to see sense before dad leaves the gas on or burns the house down! Right now my brother and sister in-law are getting my parents up, washing and dressing them, making them breakfast - doing a days work - then putting them to bed - its exhausting.