As I struggle with the realities of my daddy's Alzheimers disease and his declining mental state I find that I am so angry. A well spring of anger, resentment and bitterness springs up in my soul that I didn't even know existed. And if one more person tells me that my Daddy is still here but just different I may just punch them in the face. My DADDY, the man I could talk to about anything, the strongest constant moral compass of my life, the loving protector, and hilarious jokester is gone! Yes, my father is physically here but Daddy is gone. In his place is a man who stumbles over everyday conversations and is having more and more hallucinations and dellusions. The man in my Daddy's body doesn't eat unless forced, can barely dress himself, and can't remember how to make the bed or brew a cup of coffee. Yes I will take what I can get from him, and the rare moments of clarity are more precious than diamonds, but why can't anyone understand the pain I feel over what I have lost? What Kate (4 years old) and the boys(14 years old) have lost? I'm sorry but I'm just ****ed! This isn't fair!