Troubled by my wife’s behaviour

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Plasticman3355, Oct 17, 2019.

  1. Plasticman3355

    Plasticman3355 New member

    Oct 17, 2019
    1
    My wife’s has stated to accuse me of stealing or hiding her things,cigarettes,medication etc.She gets very angry ,and calls me things like liar, thief to name a few.These episode last from a few hours up to a few days, then she snaps out of the mood and doesn’t remember what she did or said.
    I have suggested we make a doctors appointment to see if she is depressed or something else.She refuses to agree to this.I have spoken to my doctor who more or less said he cannot get involved and advised me to contact age concern.
    I don’t know what to do,this condition has come on over the last 2years gradually getting worse.
    My family Two sons are aware of what’s happening so I’m not completely alone.I am my wife’s career due to her having rheumatoid arthritis,she cannot remember her medication,she cannot due anything in the house,cooking washing etc.
    I feel as if I’m drowning,I would like any advise you could offer.
     
  2. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    3,209
    Nottinghamshire
    Welcome to DTP @Plasticman3355

    Sadly accusations of stealing are common from people with dementia as is aggression.

    Have you spoken to your wife's GP? He/she may not be able to talk to you about your wife's illness but can listen. It is important to get her checked as some other conditions which are easily treated can mimic dementia. If you can get your wife's GP onside perhaps she could be called in for a well-woman check.?

    I remember 1 member on here who made an appointment for herself at the GP (she had same GP as her husband) and asked hubby to accompany her as she was feeling nervous. The GP, who had been primed, examined her and then offered to check hubby over too saying "two for the price of one! " would your wife accept something like that?

    Sometimes we have to tell our PWD whatever we think they will accept to get the result we need... We call these ruses "love lies" or "therapeutic untruths"

    I'm glad you have some support from your sons. Having help makes a big difference.
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,755
    Kent
    Gosh. This is a bit of a `cop out` @Plasticman3355 I would have thought your wife`s doctor would rightly be your first port of call.

    It has to be faced that not many people with dementia with these behaviours can see or understand why they feel or behave so irrationally.

    If you can identify these behaviours are more frequent late afternoon or early evening, then they are likely to be caused by sundowning.

    Here is an explanation.

    https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/search?keywords=sundowning&Search

    If you can accept some changes in your behaviour might help to make life easier for you, this link might help.

    https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/

    Now this is only a guide to help us understand dementia and also challenging behaviour. It would take a saint to follow it to the letter but just knowing it is there has been a big help to many.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.