1. Vic10

    Vic10 Registered User

    Feb 18, 2017
    48
    I know many of you take your PWD out frequently to entertain, distract etc.
    I try to do the same we go out to lunch, theatre, shops
    Today we attended a car boot sale as stall holders as I wanted to sell some stuff. I thought OH would hate it but he really enjoyed it ! (I took him a chair and he just sat and chatted)
    It got me thinking I need to be more adventurous and not presume that I know what he will enjoy so I thought perhaps we could share ideas.
     
  2. margherita

    margherita Registered User

    May 30, 2017
    2,401
    Female
    Italy, Milan and Acqui Terme
    Hi @Vic10 , I do not have suggestions for you, I ' m afraid, but I wanted to say I like what you are doing.
     
  3. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,651
    Female
    Scotland
    In the early years after diagnosis I tried to have plans every day about how to get out and socialise. This gradually declined as John's mobility declined. Over the last six months I have had to give myself a shake and make more use of the wheelchair. I absolutely cannot push it up inclines so have to think about our journeys carefully. Going on the bus with a wheelchair is nerve wracking but I'm getting better and passengers and drivers are pretty patient with me.

    What I am certain of is that a couple of hours out and about prevents me feeling frantic with boredom. John enjoys seeing what is going on and someone always starts a conversation with me. For those trapped indoors with a partner who can't hold a sensible conversation it's a pretty depressing situation.
     
  4. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,621
    Male
    Bristol
    I finally gave in and bought a wheelchair a couple of months ago, so we have more options as C's mobility suffers due to arthritis. So, hopefully over the summer there can be a few little trips to Clevedon ( by the sea) for ice cream. It has certainly helped with lunch trips to Pizza restaurants. That is so good to read of your car boot sale vic10, and your OH enjoying the conversation.
     
  5. Di*

    Di* Registered User

    Sep 25, 2015
    8
    Female
    Cornwall
    We go out a lot on the buses. It keeps hubby entertained watching the road and the drivers and we usually have a meal out somewhere like Wetherspoons. The Wetherspoons app for ordering is great as you order at the table in your own time and everything is brought to you. We also go to the cinema. There is a ticket you can get (the name escapes me at the moment but I can find out) where the person with disabilities can take a carer free.
     
  6. Di*

    Di* Registered User

    Sep 25, 2015
    8
    Female
    Cornwall
    Also if hubby is being a bit of pain at home, he 'acts' better outside
     
  7. Dosey

    Dosey Registered User

    Nov 27, 2017
    94
    It's a CEA carers card. You can apply online. Cost £6 for the year. Carer gets free entry . Most cinemas accept this
    Rose
     
  8. Di*

    Di* Registered User

    Sep 25, 2015
    8
    Female
    Cornwall
    That's the one !!! Thanks
     
  9. LynneMcV

    LynneMcV Volunteer Moderator

    May 9, 2012
    3,397
    south-east London
    While my husband was still quite mobile he enjoyed outings on the buses, walks in local parks, visits to historic houses with landscaped gardens, picnics at lakeside locations to watch boats or birdlife, garden centres and trips to places of interest organised by a local coach company specialising in day trips. We enjoyed some great daytrips that way, including a horse-drawn barge trip and a visit to a working windmill and traditional seaside visits. We even threw in coach day trips to Belgium and France along the way.

    By the fifth year after diagnosis, his mobility worsened and our trips had to be closer to home, but we still got to interesting and enjoyable events, including open air entertainment at local parks as well as fun events run by various local churches for the whole community which included barbershop singers, Irish dancing, reminiscent sessions and local history talks at libraries - and even a cheese and wine auction run by local scouts (which he loved).

    It took a lot of scouring different notice boards, adverts in shop windows and websites to find things - but in the end we achieved quite a varied social life!
     
  10. tryingmybest

    tryingmybest Registered User

    May 22, 2015
    616
    Female
    #10 tryingmybest, May 7, 2019
    Last edited: May 7, 2019
    I take my Mum, who lives with me, out every day for a couple of hours. It helps settle her and gives me a change of scene as I just can't be inside all day, every day with her. I often take a picnic and drive out somewhere. Even in bad weather we can just sit in the car and if it's nice I take her out in the wheelchair. Twice a week I go to Sainsburys for food shopping and use the little cafe for our lunch or dinner. National Trust properties/gardens are always good as it's discounted for carers and wheelchair users, as is the local Wildlife and Wetland Trust. Garden centres are great for a stroll around with the wheelchair and the obligatory tea and cake/snack, or the local pub for lunch. Local concerts by the military band always are much enjoyed as are local ballroom events to watch the dancing and listen to the big bands (Mum was a gold medallist ballroom dancer). We used to go to flower arranging demonstrations once a month as Mum used to love flower arranging but she finds it hard to follow what theyre saying now so we've stopped. We enjoy going to view local gardens on the Open Garden Schemes too and most are wheelchair friendly. It's fabulous to see other peoples gardens and chat over tea and cake which is usually served somewhere along the line or in the local church. We also go to the local cinema to watch the live screenings of Andrea Rieu and his orchestra or any suitable film - Mum can't follow a storyline but recently enjoyed the new Mary Poppins and A Dogs Tale. We are about 40 minutes from the sea so ocassionally drive there with a picnic and just people watch from the car and I make up little stories about people to keep Mum amused and if it's nice I push her along the prom and we get an icecream. I sometimes just take some coffee and biscuits to the local park as Mum loves to watch the children playing and all the dogs out for walks. Things don't have to cost a lot but just getting out breaks up the day and tires Mum out so she sleeps better at night.
     
  11. maryjoan

    maryjoan Registered User

    Mar 25, 2017
    1,254
    Female
    South of the Border
    we have ended up with separate lives. He only wants to go to his snooker and bowls and in the winter, his singing group.
    When we do try to go out, he acts as though he just wants to be at home again, does not include himself in activities or conversations, and too me, it seems as waste of time - and money we cannot afford.
    Perhaps I need to take a leaf out of your books and try a bit harder.
     
  12. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,638
    Female
    South coast
    I think it depends on the person @maryjoan

    My mum was very similar to tryingmybest's mum. She loved going to garden centres, looking around at the flowers and then having lunch or going to the park and feeding the ducks and watching everyone coming and going. She especially liked going down by the sea if the sea was rough as she loved to watch the big waves crash on the beach. It made me laugh when @tryingmybest said that she would make up stories about the people around, as in mums case it was mum who used to make up the stories!!!

    My OH, however, is completely different. He hates things that are not part of his routine, so dislikes going out and doesnt travel well. He also cant cope with too many people around, too much noise, or too bright a light. Things like going shopping, a walk along the prom on a sunny day, Singing For the Brain and anywhere further than 15 mins in the car is completely out. Mostly he wants to sit on the sofa, scrolling through his tablet, reading a book, or watching TV.....
     
  13. tryingmybest

    tryingmybest Registered User

    May 22, 2015
    616
    Female
    Oh @canary how similar your Mum was to mine. Funnily enough we have just had a picnic by the river and I've been making Mum laugh with my stories as I'm sure your Mum used to you. We've now moved down the road to a lake by the sailing club and Mum is intently watching an old man mowing the grass around the club. The sun is now out and the smell of the cut grass is divine.....simple pleasures.
     
  14. Vic10

    Vic10 Registered User

    Feb 18, 2017
    48
    That’s interesting, my OH wouldn’t be able to use a tablet. Have you set it up for him, or is it one that is really straight forward. I ask because he is always asking what I am doing on mine so would be good if he could use one
     
  15. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,638
    Female
    South coast
    Well, the thing is that he used to be a software engineer, so had computers, internet (the old dial up modems!), mobile phone and tablet before anyone else had them. With his cognitive decline he is losing ability and can no longer work out how to use his mobile, or the smart TV and no longer knows how to use most of the functions on his tablet. I discovered recently that he no longer knows that he can expand the screen to see small print or details in photos. Nevertheless he still scrolls through things on facebook, the news, reads his emails, searches for random things on google and stuff like that. Eventually, of course, he wont be able to do any of it.
    I suspect that your OH is further along the path than mine.
     
  16. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,651
    Female
    Scotland
    I’m considering taking John to see Wild Rose on Thursday. Anyone seen it?
     
  17. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    58,928
    Female
    Dundee
    I’ve seen it. I enjoyed it. Colourful language! Lots of country music to listen to!
     
  18. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,651
    Female
    Scotland
    @Izzy I took John today. Really enjoyed it. Films don't come any more local for me than that. Even the mother Julie Walters was called Marion!

    I don't think John got anything out of it at all. He would have been more settled looking through his newspaper. Onwards and upwards!
     
  19. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    16,014
    Toronto, Canada
    At the beginning of Mum's disease, we used to do day trips - Niagara-on-the-Lake and other pretty little towns. We would walk around and stop in a cafe for a bite and a coffee. I also would go for walks with Mum around the neighbourhood of the home.

    As Mum's illness progressed, we had to shorten the trips out. We went to local parks. One park Mum particularly liked was the dog park. She seemed to really enjoy seeing all the dogs running free and playing.

    At the end, when she was in a wheelchair, I would take her into the garden area of the home. One of the saddest things about this illness is how a person's life becomes ever more constricted, shrinking all the time.
     
  20. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,651
    Female
    Scotland
    @Canadian Joanne you are so right. I couldn't even engage John in a talk about Nashville which was featured in this film as he has no recollection we've ever been there. Much of the action was very local. In fact the shopping centre featured was where we were watching the film yet he was oblivious. I felt such frustration but the truth is I know all too well that breaking his routine does nothing for him at all.

    Still, I enjoyed the trip out.
     

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