Sitting here in London Airbnb in tears because what was supposed to be a lovely trip to the Kew Gardens Christmas lights with my daughter and her boyfriend all went wrong. I now know my PWD and I can't go anywhere again, wish I could have come alone if only I could have found someone to look after him, instead I brought him thinking he would enjoy the trip. The travel aspect was an absolute nightmare as we ended up having to go on the tube. Then the whole way round the beautiful Kew Gardens event he was totally confused, complained, got angry with other people if they were in the way, showed no interest in the light displays, wouldn't sit in the wheelchair I'd borrowed to make it easier for him, it's the worst he's ever been. I feel sad for him but most sad for my daughter whose evening was spoiled and who is generally so good with him though he's not even her father. She sees more of him than his own children who have barely any contact with him now and I feel so guilty, she shouldn't have to put up with this. I'm so torn between wanting to look after him out of love and because there's no one else who will but then needing to have a normal happy times with my daughter. She's coming for Christmas and I dreading it now because I don't want it to be spoiled for her by my partner's behaviour. To add insult to injury can you believe it that he woke up this morning and said we should get married, asked me if I'd like to get married, I said no!!!!