So I went to this session for carers of people with dementia the other day. As I suspected most of what was covered I had already come across on the Alzheimer's society website. Anyway, the people there were nice, although it was no surprise to me to find I was the youngest there. For some reason this means that the others automatically start trying to look out for me, and feel the need to tell me how hard it's going to be in the future. They mean well, but really? Yes, I am only thirty but I have been a carer for one other of my parents since I was six. I have lived through the mental illness and death of my mother, the physical disabilities and depression of my father before the Alzheimer's even cropped up. I know what I'm in for!
I didn't mean to turn that into a rant. I don't really resent their advice. But everyone seemed kind of shocked that I am facing this on my own, which got me thinking about my family. I am the youngest (by some margin) of six children, but the only one providing care for dad. I haven't actually spoken to any of the others in over six weeks (not counting a "lol" I got from my sister on Facebook this morning). In fact the last time she came round was when the social worker turned up. Before that? I can't remember. She lives less that a mile away.
I'm not angry. The problem is every time I have asked her for help in the past she has either dropped out at the last minute claiming family commitments, or suggested that I should think about 'more permanent solutions'. Then she tells me I should find more time for myself!
I know she's upset. They all are. And I know our family history means they are all reluctant to become too involved, something I understand completely, but I am tired of them expecting me to cope alone. I don't want to cause a row or even make them feel guilty, but I'm stuck as to how to make them understand that they have a responsibility too. And yes, I would love to have more of a life!
I didn't mean to turn that into a rant. I don't really resent their advice. But everyone seemed kind of shocked that I am facing this on my own, which got me thinking about my family. I am the youngest (by some margin) of six children, but the only one providing care for dad. I haven't actually spoken to any of the others in over six weeks (not counting a "lol" I got from my sister on Facebook this morning). In fact the last time she came round was when the social worker turned up. Before that? I can't remember. She lives less that a mile away.
I'm not angry. The problem is every time I have asked her for help in the past she has either dropped out at the last minute claiming family commitments, or suggested that I should think about 'more permanent solutions'. Then she tells me I should find more time for myself!
I know she's upset. They all are. And I know our family history means they are all reluctant to become too involved, something I understand completely, but I am tired of them expecting me to cope alone. I don't want to cause a row or even make them feel guilty, but I'm stuck as to how to make them understand that they have a responsibility too. And yes, I would love to have more of a life!