Thank you all for your replies, I am worn out! I do feel like I am letting her down and she has no conception of how this is affecting me - vascuakr dementia has already stolen my mother. But the cheaper home is much more affordable long term and I don't think the extras that the more expensive home offered is worth the stress that I would endure.
I have another worry. I have been told for the first 12 weeks my mother's property is disregarded so she may qualify for some help from the council. Her capital is about £23000 so she is just under the threshold. BUT and here is my worry - before her sudden decline she was ok cognitively - my sister had to give up one of her jobs to take over her care when I was taken seriously ill and hospitalised for 3 months. My sisters house needed some essential repair but she could not get a loan owing to her reduced hours at work, my mother agreed to loan her £4000 to do the work and my sister would pay it back at £100 a month. About a month after this happened though my mother seriously declined and was hospitalised. I'm worrying now they will say this was done to avoid care home fees which is wasn't, there hadn't been any mention of care home until she was hospitalised and in any event we knew she would have to pay herself because of the house - we didn't know about the 12 week disregard at the time. Am I worrying unnecessarily? I'm so anxious at the moment about everything and I have to sort all the. Paper work out.
Any views please?
I have another worry. I have been told for the first 12 weeks my mother's property is disregarded so she may qualify for some help from the council. Her capital is about £23000 so she is just under the threshold. BUT and here is my worry - before her sudden decline she was ok cognitively - my sister had to give up one of her jobs to take over her care when I was taken seriously ill and hospitalised for 3 months. My sisters house needed some essential repair but she could not get a loan owing to her reduced hours at work, my mother agreed to loan her £4000 to do the work and my sister would pay it back at £100 a month. About a month after this happened though my mother seriously declined and was hospitalised. I'm worrying now they will say this was done to avoid care home fees which is wasn't, there hadn't been any mention of care home until she was hospitalised and in any event we knew she would have to pay herself because of the house - we didn't know about the 12 week disregard at the time. Am I worrying unnecessarily? I'm so anxious at the moment about everything and I have to sort all the. Paper work out.
Any views please?