Hi There
Firstly thanks everybody for being there. I have posted many times and had great support. I am now demented myself. My situation is this my dear old dad with Vascular dementia lives at home with my mum 83 same age and my cousin 56 who has moved into help dad stay in his own home. Great I hear you all say. Yes it could be be but my mum and cousin don;t get on my mum thinks that my cousin should do more in the house to help etc although she looks after dad admirably which is all I want her to do. Dad has a care package and goes to the day centre 4 days a week. Sadly he suffered with a chest infectin a week ago and since then has regressed considerably even though he survived the infection.
The trouble I have is coping with the fall out and also in dealing with dad and all the emotional stuff that goes with it. I am grieving and find it so difficult to see him getting worse every day. My mum doesn;t wish to take it on board the condition even though dad now can;t swallow some of the time and has lost the ability to use a knife and fork at times. The only reason he is at home is because of my cousin staying there... There arguing and the atmosphere is really killing me and I am coming to the decision that dad will have to come and live with me in my home but I know this would devastate mum I dont know what to do all I can say is my marriage children and my health are suffering now to the point where at times I think I am going to go under with all this stress. I don;t want to see dad in a home but my mum just can;t understand the stress on me. My social worker has offered respite but i hate all the places she has suggested. If dad didn;t know us I would find it a little easier but he does bless him. I want to the best for them but now am demented myself with all this stress. Any help suggestions gratefully received.
Angela
Firstly thanks everybody for being there. I have posted many times and had great support. I am now demented myself. My situation is this my dear old dad with Vascular dementia lives at home with my mum 83 same age and my cousin 56 who has moved into help dad stay in his own home. Great I hear you all say. Yes it could be be but my mum and cousin don;t get on my mum thinks that my cousin should do more in the house to help etc although she looks after dad admirably which is all I want her to do. Dad has a care package and goes to the day centre 4 days a week. Sadly he suffered with a chest infectin a week ago and since then has regressed considerably even though he survived the infection.
The trouble I have is coping with the fall out and also in dealing with dad and all the emotional stuff that goes with it. I am grieving and find it so difficult to see him getting worse every day. My mum doesn;t wish to take it on board the condition even though dad now can;t swallow some of the time and has lost the ability to use a knife and fork at times. The only reason he is at home is because of my cousin staying there... There arguing and the atmosphere is really killing me and I am coming to the decision that dad will have to come and live with me in my home but I know this would devastate mum I dont know what to do all I can say is my marriage children and my health are suffering now to the point where at times I think I am going to go under with all this stress. I don;t want to see dad in a home but my mum just can;t understand the stress on me. My social worker has offered respite but i hate all the places she has suggested. If dad didn;t know us I would find it a little easier but he does bless him. I want to the best for them but now am demented myself with all this stress. Any help suggestions gratefully received.
Angela