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Tone of voice

Loopiloo

Registered User
May 10, 2010
6,118
Scotland
Oh yes Loo! It takes some practice and trial and error-and some times it doesn't work-BUT it's worth having a go:) It's all to do with the emotions that Dementia sufferer's still feel-I think anyway.
I also think dementia suffers still feel emotions, Lyn. What they lose is the ability to express them as dementia progresses. Then I did read about this somewhere, that they stay with them until the end.

Even as dementia progresses there can be moments of surprise when an emotion is expressed, be it briefly then gone again.

No, hvml, it isn't always easy but then nothing is with dementia. I'm so pleased that you feel less helpless. Try not to get too down when certain things don't seem to work, you just never know when they will and when not.

Here's hoping the walks in the fresh air to help your Dad to sleep better.

Loo xxx
 

hvml

Registered User
Oct 10, 2015
297
North Cornwall
The walk worked a treat Dad slept soundly with no shouting in the small hours, so I had a great night too It's made such a difference and I feel that smiling will not be a problem today. We have an OT visiting after lunch, then will go out in the fresh air and sunshine. Happy days. Xx
 

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,959
Brixham Devon
The walk worked a treat Dad slept soundly with no shouting in the small hours, so I had a great night too It's made such a difference and I feel that smiling will not be a problem today. We have an OT visiting after lunch, then will go out in the fresh air and sunshine. Happy days. Xx
Well done hvml-you are doing so well with your Dad. You are right-smiling is so much easier after a good night's sleep:)

Love

Lyn T XX
 

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,959
Brixham Devon
"I also think dementia suffers still feel emotions, Lyn. What they lose is the ability to express them as dementia progresses. Then I did read about this somewhere, that they stay with them until the end."

Have a look at this >>>bookcase analogy video<<< (6m20s)
Wow! Thanks Nitram! I just watched this through and it's amazing. Such a simple analogy-but very, very effective. It struck a chord when the presenter was talking about a PWD living in the past because Pete's Mum (young onset AD) put an electric kettle on the gas ring and set fire to the kitchen!

A must see for anyone who can find the time.

Love

Lyn T XX
 

Rosaerona

Registered User
Oct 7, 2015
11
This is such a helpful thread as my mum is a bit deaf and doesn't process language quickly anymore. I'm going to try all your advice on speaking clearly and simply and definitely smiling as she always responds to someone's smile. Thanks so much for the great links as well :)
 

arielsmelody

Registered User
Jul 16, 2015
515
One other thing (as someone whose hearing isn't improving with age) - pay attention to the surroundings when you are trying to communicate. It can be difficult to hear and understand someone speaking when there is other noise like tv or radio competing for attention, so remember to turn down any other source of noise before you start. My family have better hearing than me, and I think sometimes they just don't realise how difficult the background noise makes it for me to hear words (as opposed to just being aware that someone is speaking).
 

henfenywfach

Registered User
May 23, 2013
332
rct
My dad is in the moderate stage of vascular dementia and is quite hard of hearing, although it does seem to be somewhat selective at times. I got him hearing aids, but he didn't like them at all, so I stopped asking him to wear them. Something I would like input on is this: He invariably as me to repeat what I said, even if it is just yes or no. I try to give positive answers to his questions and say...."yes, that is a very good idea"......pardon? "yes!" - a typical exchange. He then gets huffy and says that I'm shouting and he never shouts at me, so why am I shouting at him. It makes my brain boil for a few minutes, so I go out of the room, then go back in again, by which time he has forgotten about it. Is there any good way for me to improve the situation?
Hi! Communication is a key point that all is carers at some point struggle with. It's important to understand that hearing and understanding sometimes cross and take the blame for each other.
Body language is important. Eye contact and if use of pictures or objects is helpful for them then so be it.
Hand motions such as thumb up for good etc.
Have a look at makaton. There is an official website. We already do many movements already naturally like drink (hold cup shape in hand).
It might help.
Best wishes
 

Trisha4

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
2,440
Yorkshire
My dad is in the moderate stage of vascular dementia and is quite hard of hearing, although it does seem to be somewhat selective at times. I got him hearing aids, but he didn't like them at all, so I stopped asking him to wear them. Something I would like input on is this: He invariably as me to repeat what I said, even if it is just yes or no. I try to give positive answers to his questions and say...."yes, that is a very good idea"......pardon? "yes!" - a typical exchange. He then gets huffy and says that I'm shouting and he never shouts at me, so why am I shouting at him. It makes my brain boil for a few minutes, so I go out of the room, then go back in again, by which time he has forgotten about it. Is there any good way for me to improve the situation?
I have a similar situation with my husband. I think he does have hearing problems but I think the main problem is understanding rather than actually hearing. I find it really difficult to have to say the same thing 20 times and even then it doesn't necessarily mean he's got it.
I try to keep things simple, ensure he is looking at me and me at him and use facial expressions, props or whatever to aid understanding. There must never be any background noise as that makes things impossible.
You have my sympathy x


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hvml

Registered User
Oct 10, 2015
297
North Cornwall
Cutting down the background noise has been helping, as have the wealth of ideas in this thread. I have not raised my voice in exasperation since taking on board the points. Thank goodness for that xx
 

cobden28

Registered User
Jan 31, 2012
442
Deafness in the elderly.

Mum is 84; no dementia but has been very hard of hearing for a number of years and at first she didn't tell anyone she had difficulty in hearing. My ex and I simply thought she was a combination of daft and stupid, because we got fed up with having to keep on repeating things and speaking LOUDLY so's Mum could hear what we were trying to say to her. Even then conversations were difficult because she would often break away in the middle of a conversation and go do something else, which my ex and I found incredibly frustrating.

Eventually after one visit, Mum finally told me she'd had less than 50% hearing in both ears for a number of years - but I do wish she'd told me at the start so that I would have understood. Mum does have hearing aids but never wears them at home because she doesn't want to waste the batteries, making telephone conversations next to impossible because she rarely hears the phone ring, even with an amplifier, and when she does pick up the phone the TV is on in the background so loud I can't hear what she's saying!

Face-to-face, Mum tells me that to make it easier for us to talk to her & for her to follow a conversation we need to look at her full-face on so that she can follow what we're saying by lip-reading (which is how she managed for years before letting on to us she was partially deaf). Speak slowly and clearly, enunciate precisely, open your mouth properly when you talk to her, and don't mumble when you speak. If she's not looking at you when you want to say something to her, I have to attract her attention by tapping her on the shoulder, so she will then turn her face to look at me full-face on.
 

hvml

Registered User
Oct 10, 2015
297
North Cornwall
I have been trying to make eye contact and it's definitely a big improvement. Also, cutting out the background noise and dropping any extra unnecessary words or phrases.
 

Trisha4

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
2,440
Yorkshire
I have been trying to make eye contact and it's definitely a big improvement. Also, cutting out the background noise and dropping any extra unnecessary words or phrases.
I'm glad something is helping x


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