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Toiletting Issues

MalcW

Registered User
Jul 3, 2020
11
A new issue has arisen that I am struggling with. My wife was diagnosed 3 years ago at the age of 60. Recently she has taken to leaving the toilet and forgetting to clean her bum. This results in soiled underwear and her cleaning herself on towels or with a flannel. She then hides the soiled items amongst clean laundry which causes further soiling. My biggest issue is how to tackle this without putting her off using the toilet at all, and causing medical problems? Can anyone help please?
 

Scrimjay

Registered User
Mar 31, 2019
24
Hi MalcW- would your wife allow you in the bathroom just after she's finished on the loo? That's what I do with my husband... sometimes he's not sure whether he nneds to go or not... but anyway, I leave for 5 minutes or so, then go back up & ask if he's ready. Then I can go back in the bathroom & remind him to wipe his bum. This seems to work ok for us. Usually I have to wash his bum after that, to make sure it's clean & he's happy with me doing this.
 

Louise7

Registered User
Mar 25, 2016
2,378
Hello @MalcW welcome to the forum, you'll find lots of support and advice here. Sadly there comes a point when assistance with going to the toilet/wiping is needed. As mentioned above, your wife may respond to prompting, and maybe a supply of wet wipes might help (although not flushable). It may be helpful to start using pull-up incontinence pants to prevent frequent soiling of underwear but if all else fails then someone will need to go into the toilet with your wife to assist with wiping. If this is not something that you would be comfortable doing then could you get some carers in to assist with personal care?
 

MalcW

Registered User
Jul 3, 2020
11
Thanks to Scrimjay and Louise7. Both have given me helpful hints, which I will try immediately. The wet wipes are a particularly good idea especially now that flushable ones are becoming available.
 

Vic10

Registered User
Feb 18, 2017
160
If you are able to encourage your OH to use pull ups or pads, not only will that alleviate the dirty underwear problem but if you contact your local district or incontinence nurse you may well be able to get them directly from the NHS
 

Scrimjay

Registered User
Mar 31, 2019
24
My husband uses pull up pants & they are very good. Thanks for the tip on flushable wet wipes, Malcw. I will investigate!
 

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
679
I have a similar problem, mine used to use toilet paper and throw it on the floor, now he often forgets altogether. You have my sympathy. Unfortunately it seems to be par for the course that we'll end up helping with bottom wiping, mine doesn't seem to mind me helping. Re using towels and flannels, best to take them away, out of reach or put them on a high shelf if you have one.
 

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