Toileting problems ... any ideas??

[tshaines]

Hi there,

My Dad's 68 and has a form of dementia called Cerebral Amyloid Angiopathy.
Unfortunately his condition has advanced very quickly and although he is still physically very fit, his dementia is at a stage where he struggles to do almost anything for himself, and spends most of his time regaling us with about 20 very random, and insignificant stories, related to minor incidents in his life.

He is now becoming very agitated (almost autistic) and can get easily worked up about small things. The most significant problem is that he has developed a real problem with going to the toilet, seeing it as a dirty, awful place (this seems connected to a recent time when he had an upset stomach and for a couple of days had a number of accidents). He now refuses to sit down on the toilet, no matter what we try and is prone to soiling himself regularly. If we do get him to the toilet he will just wipe into tissues and put it in the bin, and not into the toilet itself.

We have tried different forms of adult 'nappy' but these just agitate him further, as he keeps saying they are for old men, and old men will need them so he can't wear them. If we do manage to get them on him he spends most of his time clearly agitated and trying to take them off. He has even come prone to taking his trousers down in view of others to try and take it off, which clearly is not an easy situation.

We really are at our wits end with this and don't have any ideas where to go with it. All the professionals have suggested to us it to keep trying the nappy type underwear, but this clearly really upsets him.

Any ideas would be welcome, or just to hear any other experiences, as with all of this one can often feel alone in it all.

Thanks,

Tim

 

[Dean80]

Hi there,

My Dad's 68 and has a form of dementia called Cerebral Amyloid Angiopathy.
Unfortunately his condition has advanced very quickly and although he is still physically very fit, his dementia is at a stage where he struggles to do almost anything for himself, and spends most of his time regaling us with about 20 very random, and insignificant stories, related to minor incidents in his life.

He is now becoming very agitated (almost autistic) and can get easily worked up about small things. The most significant problem is that he has developed a real problem with going to the toilet, seeing it as a dirty, awful place (this seems connected to a recent time when he had an upset stomach and for a couple of days had a number of accidents). He now refuses to sit down on the toilet, no matter what we try and is prone to soiling himself regularly. If we do get him to the toilet he will just wipe into tissues and put it in the bin, and not into the toilet itself.

We have tried different forms of adult 'nappy' but these just agitate him further, as he keeps saying they are for old men, and old men will need them so he can't wear them. If we do manage to get them on him he spends most of his time clearly agitated and trying to take them off. He has even come prone to taking his trousers down in view of others to try and take it off, which clearly is not an easy situation.

We really are at our wits end with this and don't have any ideas where to go with it. All the professionals have suggested to us it to keep trying the nappy type underwear, but this clearly really upsets him.

Any ideas would be welcome, or just to hear any other experiences, as with all of this one can often feel alone in it all.

Thanks,

Tim

Hi Tim,

The only other option would be colostomy bags, but even this is not a solution as dad would probably pull them out without meaning to. It would seem that repitition is the only answer here, if you perservere with the underwear pads then you might find that more often than not dad would eventually be okay to wear them, but (as my family found out with mum) there is no certain answer, just to keep on it and remember to take time out for yourself to be able to cope with the situation.

Dean.

 

[jeany123]

Hello tshaines and welcome to Talking Point If he associates the toilet with being dirty would he use a commode in the bedroom, is this worth a try or have you tried it ,

jeany x

 

[lin1]

Hi Welcome to TO
When I read the title to your thread, I thought ahh yes , like my Mum did his dad thinks doing a poo is bad/dirty , how wrong I was .

When you say nappies do you mean the type with sticky tapes ,like a babies nappy, if so you may have more luck with pull ups.

what I would be inclined to try , is take going to the loo out of the equation as dad now seems to think it's a dirty place.
Is a commode in another room.
if you do decide to try one , thinking of later on when dad may become unable to clean himself either after toileting or washing,
I suggest getting a wheeled commode that can go over the loo. I found the one we had for Mum extremely useful, in time I used it as a transport chair back to her bed.
I know the above used are premature for you and may not happen but thought I would mention it

Others will be along soon with more ideas

 

[juniepoonie]

just an idea I was also going to suggest commode in another room. or what about getting a small cd player an put it in the bathroom with some music that dad likes to relax him an maybe take his mind off the dirty idea. change wallpaper in there to change old memories in there. we try all sorts. good luck to you it worked for us juniepoonie

 

[tshaines]

Thanks for your responses. We have been trying pull up style 'nappies' but my Dad unfortunately won't really take to them, as he seems aware they aren't really normal in his mind.

We are thinking about trying the commode idea and putting it in another room, as it does see a major part of the issue is the phobia he has built up against the toilet as a room, based on experiences when he was ill.

Thanks again,

Tim