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Toileting concerns

Imstressedout

Registered User
Jun 6, 2019
30
Fortunately dad is moving into a new nursing home next week as I have concerns about his current one.

Nobody seems to worry that he’s in bed 24/7 and they don’t try and get him up. I visited the other day and he was extremely upset as he needed to defecate. The staff came in and just told him to do it in his (incontinence) pants. They made a half hearted attempt at organizing a hoist and then just never came back! Poor dad was so upset. He’s about 17st so I know it’s a pain to go through this because of his weight but this just doesn’t seem right to me. So I’m just wondering if this is the norm in nursing homes?
 

Jale

Registered User
Jul 9, 2018
442
Fortunately dad is moving into a new nursing home next week as I have concerns about his current one.

Nobody seems to worry that he’s in bed 24/7 and they don’t try and get him up. I visited the other day and he was extremely upset as he needed to defecate. The staff came in and just told him to do it in his (incontinence) pants. They made a half hearted attempt at organizing a hoist and then just never came back! Poor dad was so upset. He’s about 17st so I know it’s a pain to go through this because of his weight but this just doesn’t seem right to me. So I’m just wondering if this is the norm in nursing homes?
Not sure if this will help, but is your dad aware that he needs to go to the loo (or bedpan)? Mum is in a nursing home and is doubly incontinent. We went through a spell with her when she would get very agitated saying she needed a wee (she too wears pads obviously), so found carers, they hoisted her into her wheelchair and took her to her room - about twenty minutes later they bought her back - no she hadn't done anything and her pad was dry. Ten minutes later she was saying she needed to wee, distracted her, and then she said too late I've done it. Called the carers again they went through the hoisting etc only to return - no wee, dry pad. When she went through the same thing the next day I called the carers only for Mum to say she didn't want to go and I should stop making things up!. I know she is checked regularly and now if she starts on about going to the toilet I ignore her and after a few minutes she has forgotten all about it.

As for getting your dad out of bed - is he able to say no he doesn't want to get up? I know mum is "encouraged" to go into the residents lounge and she will usually agree.

Sorry may not be of any help to you - but just wanted you to know you are not alone
 

Imstressedout

Registered User
Jun 6, 2019
30
That’s a good point Jale. He appears to know some of the time but I think there are a fair few false alarms!

He already has a catheter and doesn’t seem to know when he’s urinating but it is the “other” that distresses him.

He is a large man and is immobile and it just feels like it has been “too hard” to do much with him and easier just to let him go in bed instead.

Ref getting up he has many “structural issues” and is mainly bed-bound now with being immobile during his many stays in hospital contributing to his issues. All very sad.
 

Jale

Registered User
Jul 9, 2018
442
That’s a good point Jale. He appears to know some of the time but I think there are a fair few false alarms!

He already has a catheter and doesn’t seem to know when he’s urinating but it is the “other” that distresses him.

He is a large man and is immobile and it just feels like it has been “too hard” to do much with him and easier just to let him go in bed instead.

Ref getting up he has many “structural issues” and is mainly bed-bound now with being immobile during his many stays in hospital contributing to his issues. All very sad.
Hi (again) - I'm assuming, correct me if I'm wrong, that the home you are talking about is the one that your dad will be moving from?. If that is the case then perhaps you should have a chat with the staff at the new home. We were asked a lot of questions when mum first went into the nursing home as to Mum's likes dislikes, was there anything that we were concerned about etc, (I think we were also given a questionnaire to answer), I think if possible it's always easier to sort this sort of stuff out before it becomes a problem. Good Luck and best wishes
 

Imstressedout

Registered User
Jun 6, 2019
30
Hi (again) - I'm assuming, correct me if I'm wrong, that the home you are talking about is the one that your dad will be moving from?. If that is the case then perhaps you should have a chat with the staff at the new home. We were asked a lot of questions when mum first went into the nursing home as to Mum's likes dislikes, was there anything that we were concerned about etc, (I think we were also given a questionnaire to answer), I think if possible it's always easier to sort this sort of stuff out before it becomes a problem. Good Luck and best wishes
Hi again too. Yes that’s correct; he has now moved homes. I understand Mum had quite a long meeting at the new home and lots of questions were asked so I’m sure it’s all in order now. I will check with her though. Many thanks