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toilet troubles getting the better of me


Registered User
Apr 18, 2016
mother taking bits of poo out of her bottom, not knowing where it goes, sitting on toilet for two seconds, going back and forth(this is really draining on me at night and lack of sleep will probably mean I have to think about nursing home because it just gets too hard), pulling clothes up straight away/fast and so I dont have time to help clean, finding it hard to control cmonstipation or what one doc called goats poo or pellets.

its so tiring and so very sad dealing with these issues.they are worse when she is sick and shes currently on 4th uti
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Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
I think a care home would be a very good idea @totallyconfused you sound like you are at the end of your tether. I couldn't cope with what you are coping with. Go look at some care homes and don't feel guilty because you have done your best and can do no more.


Registered User
Feb 18, 2017
My mother has the same problem. Luckily doesnt take bits or anything. She gets up too quickly and her clothes get dirty too. Always agitated when going to the toilet and for bathing. She has been holding herself for too long. She hasnt passed motion properly for 3-4 days. As a results her eating has reduced. We gave her laxative yesterday, may be its a problem of hard stool which makes it very uncomforatble for her. She has no problem in passing urine. So will have wait and see if it works. Onething that helps us get good enough sleep is that we take her to the toilet 3-4 times a day. Morning, afternoon and night (a must) before going to bed so she doesnt have to get up in the middle of the night.


Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
hi @totallyconfused
putting together what you say in this thread and your other recent one, I do agree with you that it's time to look into a move into residential care ... then there will be carers each shift, who have had time to sleep and rest, to help your mum ... in dad's care home it didn't matter that some residents were up at night or had toileting isdues as there were always carers around to help and be company, and to do their best to have each resident get some sleep

have a chat with the GP and the continence nurse at the surgery as a regular dose of eg lactulose may help ... and is your mum drinking plenty of fluid as especially in warm weather, this can affect bodily functions