1. SharonLyons

    SharonLyons Registered User

    Dec 10, 2006
    32
    Ilford, Essex
    Hi everyone,
    I am really sorry to have to talk about this but I am finding it increasingly difficult to deal with my mums toilet problems. I hate having to clean her up. I have to wear rubber gloves when I am cleaning her flat because I just never know what I will find or where. I have found "you know what" on top of the TV, in her pockets, on the floor etc...
    Is it just her or are there others who are going through this?
    Sharon xx
     
  2. EmJ

    EmJ Registered User

    Sep 26, 2007
    230
    Scotland
    Hi Sharon

    I'm glad you raised that issue because otherwise everyone thinks they are the only one!

    The toilet issue can arise in many cases and unfortunately situations like you explained do arise. The confusion of rooms and remembering how to go to the toilet does result in mishaps.

    Whilst I haven't personally experienced all of the difficulties you describe, the cleaning up is something that many people may encounter.

    Do you have any support or advice? Clearly you and your Mum require some support maybe a nurse to discuss continence perhaps? Or check out Alzheimer Society info sheets on continence management.

    I've discovered visiting here that you sometimes think you are the only one experiencing these things - but you are not!!

    Take care,

    EmJ :)
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,666
    Kent
    Hello Sharon,

    I think you are a brick to manage such a difficult situation.

    I would certainly ask your mother`s GP to organize some help for you. As EmJ, said, perhaps an incontinence nurse could give you some guidance. You shouldn`t have to shoulder this alone.

    I have read other posts on TP telling of similar behaviours, but It wouldn`t make it any easier to face really. It is a very unpleasant and upsetting area of dementia.
     
  4. Maryav

    Maryav Registered User

    Mar 23, 2008
    9
    South Wales
    Hi
    You are dealing with it in the best way possible honestly. It's safer to wear the gloves. Everyone is right when they say contact your GP surgery and ask the district nurse to call to talk to you even if your mum wont agree to speak to her. They do understand and you aren't the only one. My MIL doesn't move much at all so I haven't had to clear 'it' up from around the house, but she has recently started to take her pad off during the night with the obvious result that her bed is always soaking and we often have other 'gifts' to clear. One call to my DN and she is sorting us out. Keep in touch
    mary
     
  5. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Sharon

    Yes, it is a common problem when continence is becoming problematical.

    But the others are right, you do need help with this. Please don't be embarrassed, just explain the situation. GPs, SWs, CPNs will all have encountered it before.

    Good luck,
     
  6. SharonLyons

    SharonLyons Registered User

    Dec 10, 2006
    32
    Ilford, Essex
    Thank you all for your help, it really is appreciated. I have today heard from my mum's mental health team that they are recommending that she be put into 24 hour care so hopefully this problem will no longer be mine. Although, then the issue of actually getting her into a home will be the next worry.
    Thanks again.
    Sharon x
     
  7. Blacksheep

    Blacksheep Registered User

    Nov 2, 2006
    15
    South East
    This is one of the areas I struggle with most caring for my Mother :(

    Thankfully for her, she is unaware that there is a problem, and is devoid of any embarassment. She will insist on putting her hands into her mess, and is unconcerned that it ends up in her hair, clothes, constant vigilance is the only way to prevent her doing this :(
     
  8. heartbroken

    heartbroken Registered User

    Feb 17, 2008
    747
    derbyshire
    we have got the same problem my step mum is double incontence she has pads from the dn but we have run out. I have been on the phone today as we have been waiting for 2 weeks for some to arrive she has said it can take up to 3 weeks so in the meen time I had got a sample from huggies the largest size of drynites
    the are brillant as she is not very big they fit lovely the size is up to 15yrs, we are now buying them as a stop gap. she is very happy about putting them on she will do it herself the only problem is she puts pants on underneath, she is happy to keep them on all night so we haven't had to strip the bad every morning.
     
  9. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Boots do own-brand pull-ups, which I found very helpful as John couldn't manage pads.

    Also, kylie sheets for the bed save having to change the whole bed every time. Some LAs supply them, I had to buy them, but you can get them on the internet. Just google 'kylie sheets'.
     
  10. heartbroken

    heartbroken Registered User

    Feb 17, 2008
    747
    derbyshire
    thanks Hazel my dad was going to buy some kylie sheets I will look on the net to see if they are cheaper.
     
  11. Libby

    Libby Registered User

    May 20, 2006
    625
    North East
    Hi Sharon

    I'm so glad you've brought this up, as I've been a bit upset this week over Mum.

    I went to the home on Monday lunchtime to see her - she'd just had her lunch, and I noticed that she had a bit of food on her chin. I went to her private toilet to get a bit of tissue to wipe it off, and found a very large hard piece of :eek:poo:eek:sat on the side of the sink, right next to her toothbrush!!

    To be honest - at first I though it was a chocolate muffin:eek:, but when I put the light on and saw what it actually was, I suppose I was a bit shocked. The staff removed it straight away and said they would get the ceaners to disinfect the sink - and obviously I threw her toothbrush away - but I can't help but wonder how it got there!!

    Did she fish it out of the loo? Did she not get to the loo in time?

    I'm just so glad that she is so so oblivious to it all.

    Libs
     
  12. fearful fiona

    fearful fiona Registered User

    Apr 19, 2007
    723
    London
    Dear Sharon and everyone else,

    Thanks for bringing up such a delicate subject. It is slightly different for me because my mum is in hospital but I have to live with something similar as I have to do her washing for her and it is gruesome to say the least. Although they keep her in inconteninence pads in hospital, I just wonder what she is doing with her clothes as when I bring back her bag of washing there is poo all over her clothes! I think she is cleaning out the toilet with her clothes sometimes.

    Sorry to share this, but I know that on TP virtually no subject is taboo. All I can say is thank god for disposable gloves and the large bottle of sherry in the fridge (for cheering me up after doing the washing!).

    Good luck everyone else, I will never look at chocolate muffins in the same way again..........:):)
     
  13. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,666
    Kent
    :D Oh thanks Fiona. I know it isn`t funny really but your mother has unknowingly just helped one chocolate muffin fan to lose weight. :D
     

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