Toilet Problems Please help

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by rhallacroz, Oct 10, 2007.

  1. rhallacroz

    rhallacroz Registered User

    Sep 24, 2007
    106
    merseyside
    Dear All
    Thanks for providing me with suppport for this dreadful disease dementia. My dad is a sufferrer and as a result we are all demented that is my mum who is 82 and struggles to cope and me their daughter. Although Dad has never been diagnosed officially I think he has vascular dementia although not altogether sure. My gp thinks so. He has good days and bad days. He knows us all and remembers things although has a big problem with language and processing skills. THe worst being how to use the toilet does anybody else have this problem and how do you deal with it. If we take hime to the toilet he just doesn;t have a clue what to do invariably he is wet and will urinate in the sink. Worst still he appears to be passing motions in tissues and then placing them in the bathroom. Despte explaining to him that this is not acceptable he doesn;t register. My mum gets so cross and then he goes into deep depression. I am at my whits end please help.
    Thanks. to you all in anticipation :(
     
  2. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi rhallacroz, I'm afraid you've hit one of the hardest stages to deal with in this disease. I went through it with John, and it just about drove me crazy.

    It's no good getting cross with your dad, he genuinely doesn't know what to do. If I took John to the toilet, if we were going ou, for example, he couldn't perform. Only the urge sent the right signals to the bladder, and then it was often too late.

    Have you contacted your continence advisor? You may do this through your SW, ot through your GP, it seems to vary from area to area. She may be able to offer some advice, but it looks as if you are almost ready for pads. I found in this intermediate stage pull-up pants were better, because John could manage them himself, but I had to buy them myself, SS didn't supply them. They can be bought from any chemist, I used Boots own brand.

    Short of that, it's a question of taking your dad to the toilet at regulal intervals and staying with him, but as you already know, this doesn't always work.

    Someone else may have other ideas. In the meantime, you have my sympathy, it's a difficult phase.

    Love,
     
  3. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    I agree with Skye. I guess a Continence Advisor might guide you. Ours is available (when she is not sick!!) through our GP and District Nurse team.
    We are able to get pads through them on the NHS but prior to that I bought them from a company (mailorder) - I can give you details if you Private Message me. We should not advertise on this public forum!

    Hope you get further help and advice here on tp but it is not an easy one to cope with. I feel so sorry for your Mum but unfortunately getting cross does not help!
    Good luck Jan
     
  4. TinaT

    TinaT Registered User

    Sep 27, 2006
    7,095
    Bolton
    I agree with all that has been said. It is a very difficult thing to deal with. All I can suggest is regular reminders about 'toilet breaks' and, if dad will allow it, actually physically helping him to use the toilet, just as you would a small child. I have found that sitting my husband down even for urinating helped to keep the urine going in the right direction. Also running the tap in the bathroom sink seems to be a stimulant.

    Get in touch with the doctor and ask what steps you have to take to get the incontinence team involved. You will probably either have to go to see a district nurse or she will come to your home to assess your dad's needs. Then you will be able to have deliveries of pads, bedcovers etc. These are free.
     
  5. rhallacroz

    rhallacroz Registered User

    Sep 24, 2007
    106
    merseyside
    toilet problem

    Hi All
    Thank you so much for your support. Yes mum and i seeing the advisor at 10am so will keep you posted. Thanks again. Its all so difficult.:)
     
  6. SteveS

    SteveS Registered User

    Jun 20, 2007
    41
    Altrincham, cheshire
    continence is a major part of this terrible disease.
    My father started oof the same way, couldn't realise what he was doing and when he had "aware" moments he was thoroughly embarrassed.

    The continence practitioner may be able to help, but be aware that there will be a time he might have to wear a disposible type of "nappy".

    My thoughts are with you - keep strength up and make sure you take advice and support from these lovely people on the threads

    steve
     
  7. rhallacroz

    rhallacroz Registered User

    Sep 24, 2007
    106
    merseyside
    toilet problems

    Hi Everybody
    Thanks for all that info the continence lady came and suggested pull ups which she said we would be entitled to 3 a day and 2 kyle sheets. She suggested using a red bucket by the side of the bed and a rubber back mat for the floor. She also suggested changing the toilet seat to black.
    What a journey this is. Thanks to every body who helps you really are an inspiration.#Thanks
     
  8. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi rhallacroz,

    You've done very well there, I had to buy pull-ups and kylies!

    I hope it works for your dad, I found the pull-ups worked for quite a long time. I've never heard or thought of a black toilet seat, let us know if it helps.

    Good luck,
     

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