1. Cobber

    Cobber Registered User

    Sep 13, 2016
    15
    Hi, been quite awhile since i have logged on. Mum is very gradually deteriorating, my problem at the moment which i hope somebody can help with is = when she needs to go to toilet she gets aggitated or say "i have a tummy ache" when taken and knickers etc taken down and sat her down, she says "what do i do now". If i say "spend a penny", she looks in her pockets for money, have a wee, "what is that i dont understand". I usually end up walking away, frustrated, for awhile hoping nature will take its course.
    Can anyone help?
     
  2. Moggymad

    Moggymad Registered User

    May 12, 2017
    323
    Female
    Hi @Cobber I used to turn the Tap on a visual & audible slow trickle to help things along. In my mums case it was difficulty peeing rather than not knowing what to do but hope this suggestion may help.
     
  3. Louise7

    Louise7 Registered User

    Mar 25, 2016
    995
    Have you had her checked out for a urine infection (UTI)? Symptoms can include stomach ache, inability to pass urine and increased agitation.
     
  4. Ohso

    Ohso Registered User

    Jan 4, 2018
    139
    Mum sometimes tells me she needs to go but then is frustrated when it doesnt start to flow immediately, l tend to just give her some time and a friendly squeeze of her shoulders to let her know that nothing is a problem and we wait, usually thats enough for her to relax and maybe focus a little more to get the muscles working.
    The carers tell me they just help her to the toilet then give her a few minutes privacy once sat and that does the trick.
    Its a frustration for her though.
     
  5. Cobber

    Cobber Registered User

    Sep 13, 2016
    15
    Thanks will try tap. Not sure uti, gp been does not want to do investigations etc., she is a bit of a handful to get blood out of and urine sample impossible to get, me and carers, suggested d nurse does but have not seen one! No way allowing her to go to hospital. So will just cope, used to it, as we all are. Thanks again.
     
  6. Moggymad

    Moggymad Registered User

    May 12, 2017
    323
    Female
    Hi @Cobber regarding getting a urine sample, I used to use a portable plastic bidet that fitted inside the toilet bowl. Having left mum on toilet for a while with tap running I could usually get sufficient urine for a test, so long as it didn't get contaminated by faeces. Sometimes gently pressing the abdomen at the same time helped but will depend on how your mum may respond to this. My mums problem was urine retention which caused a lot of uti's.
     
  7. Philbo

    Philbo Registered User

    Feb 28, 2017
    631
    Male
    Kent
    Hi @Cobber

    I often have a problem getting my wife to "go", as she can sit there for ages, even though I know she must be due a wee.

    I usually then try standing her up and sitting her back down again, often several times, when she finally passes water. It's as if the action of sitting down repeatedly, eventually triggers the "go" button?:rolleyes:
     
  8. JessL87

    JessL87 Registered User

    Jul 19, 2017
    23
    Female
    West Yorkshire

    I have exactly the same issue with my mum. She sometimes doesn't go to the toilet all day. when i ask her if she wants a wee she will say yes, sit on the comode and then asks how she does it. I tell her to sit, relax, close her eyes and just let her body do it. Sometimes its really quick, others she's sat there for a while. She also tells me "its coming down" but then is confused as to why she can't see it. This morning i could her it but as she was mid wee she started saying "no...its not there" which is also a common thing now. I mentioned it to the doctor and they said could possibly just be her not remembering what she's doing or maybe she has lost some feeling/sensation. I'm thinking maybe this is leading to incontinence but I'm unsure. She also occasionally tells me that she doesn't need to pull trousers/knickers down as she's never needed to before. Very frustrating! I've been looking for advice or other people having the same problems and this is the first thing i can relate to.
     
  9. Cobber

    Cobber Registered User

    Sep 13, 2016
    15
    Great thanks, will buy one.
     
  10. Cobber

    Cobber Registered User

    Sep 13, 2016
    15
     
  11. Cobber

    Cobber Registered User

    Sep 13, 2016
    15
    So good to hear i am not alone, mum says similar things, she thinks she is doing wrong and needs reassurance she is not doing anything wrong.
     
  12. JessL87

    JessL87 Registered User

    Jul 19, 2017
    23
    Female
    West Yorkshire
    Always nice to have the reassurance of someone else going through similar things despite how tough the issues are.
    It's hard to try explain to people who have no idea about how alzheimers affects day to day life...I had no clue until a few years ago so things like this are totally alien to me.
    So glad that I can come on here and have reassurance that people know and understand the things I'm experiencing.
     

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