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Today I’m lonely

Bugs

Registered User
Aug 27, 2020
28
0
Today, with my husband in his chair a few feet away from me,I’m feeling so lonely. I woke him for his breakfast and meds. Then he slept until 11am. Got his up eventually and into the shower and dressed. Made lunch, woke him for lunch and he’s asleep again. I feel I don’t have the right to feel sorry for myself. I have a wonderful family who are very supportive but I just really miss my husband, the husband I used to have.
 

LynneMcV

Volunteer Moderator
May 9, 2012
4,081
0
south-east London
It can be so lonely. I remember the phase when my husband started sleeping a lot and our days were mainly built around me being on stand-by to take care of his meals, drinks, medication and personal care but little or no real conversation. I also remember the chinks of light amid the gloom when his personality would suddenly 'surface' for a short time - I lived for and treasured those moments, but they became few and far between.

Never think that you do not have the right to feel as you do. These are genuine emotions and difficulties which deserve to be recognised and which really impact on those caring for a loved one with dementia. I had support from family too, but it didn't take away that feeling of loneliness and despair as I watched my husband become ever more distant and difficult to reach..

Many on here will understand your loneliness and the impact it is having on you.
 
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Jazzmax

Registered User
Feb 27, 2021
16
0
I sympathise completely with you. There are days when I feel desolate with loneliness then I get a little smile from my partner and I know I can carry on a bit longer. I hate this disease, I sometimes feel it sucks the life out of you, first the person with Alzheimer's and then their loved ones. We carry on loving and caring but my goodness it is hard and lonely. Take heart from the fact you are not alone. Sending you a big fat virtual hug from someone who knows how it feels.
 

JC51

Registered User
Jan 5, 2021
150
0
I know exactly how you feel, I have been living with my PWD sleeping almost all day every day. I can't leave her alone in the house so my sons do our shopping or stay while I pop out. They are brilliant even though working and have their own families to care for. Erratic nights sleep are common. It's hard worse some days than others, but I will not give in, she is my wife and I will look after her with a little help along the way.
 

pippylongstocking

New member
Apr 1, 2020
9
0
I can so sympathise with you.My household is a busy one.My daughter, along with her husband, 12 yr old stepson, their 3 year old and 4 month old baby live with us, to help me with MH.We have 3 dogs between us and 8 chickens.I have lots of supportive family and friends. In the midst of it all, I feel excrutiatingly lonely. MH is either asleep or shuffling around the house.I miss him so much. No one can replace the void I feel in my heart, for him and our previous life that we shared. He is only 65, I am just 60. AD was diagnosed only 4 years ago. The deterioration has been rapid. He can no longer articulate.He doesn't understand when I try to converse with him and just seems to confuse him, so it is now just inane chatter that I spout!! I even find it hard to remember how he spoke, what his voice sounded like. Yes, innthe midst of the business around me, I feel very sad and lonely.Hugs to you.
 

Bugs

Registered User
Aug 27, 2020
28
0
I can so sympathise with you.My household is a busy one.My daughter, along with her husband, 12 yr old stepson, their 3 year old and 4 month old baby live with us, to help me with MH.We have 3 dogs between us and 8 chickens.I have lots of supportive family and friends. In the midst of it all, I feel excrutiatingly lonely. MH is either asleep or shuffling around the house.I miss him so much. No one can replace the void I feel in my heart, for him and our previous life that we shared. He is only 65, I am just 60. AD was diagnosed only 4 years ago. The deterioration has been rapid. He can no longer articulate.He doesn't understand when I try to converse with him and just seems to confuse him, so it is now just inane chatter that I spout!! I even find it hard to remember how he spoke, what his voice sounded like. Yes, innthe midst of the business around me, I feel very sad and lonely.Hugs to you.
#pippylongstocking we may not have all the answers for each other but knowing someone else out there understands is very comforting. I hope you have a good day today. This morning we have a carer coming to sit with hubby for 2 hours and I’m off to the leisure centre to swim. I had no idea how beneficial I would find swimming up and down, up and down but I loved it. Time for me.
 

Pusskins

Registered User
Jun 6, 2020
275
0
New Zealand
Today, with my husband in his chair a few feet away from me,I’m feeling so lonely. I woke him for his breakfast and meds. Then he slept until 11am. Got his up eventually and into the shower and dressed. Made lunch, woke him for lunch and he’s asleep again. I feel I don’t have the right to feel sorry for myself. I have a wonderful family who are very supportive but I just really miss my husband, the husband I used to have.
@Bugs I know just how you feel. MH is in secure dementia care and I have been living alone for almost 8 months now. If I've learnt anything, it's that I'm not made to live alone. I hate it and every day I get so maudlin and lonely. I think one of the only things that has kept me sane is the wise counsel of a dear friend (male) whom I've known for 20 years. He too has a wife with dementia, but is caring for her at home. However, we understand each other and his advice over a wide range of topics regarding my situation has been invaluable and without it and this forum, I think I would have sunk beneath the horizon.