To Ricardo ...


Registered User
Jun 3, 2005
Ricardo said

"Hi, I'm new to this, but my sister called me yesterday about mom. She may have the beginning symptoms of Alzheimers, there are not sure yet, but I prayed God that won't be truth. I called mom as everyday to see how is she doing, we talked about everything and she remembers everything although, in our conversation, she mentioned that she forgot where she put two anniversaries cards, I told mom don't worry you find it soon.
She is 73 married to my dad many years, my dad is 78. We are in total 9 silbings my older sister is 54. If it's truth I don't know if I'm going to take it. Mom is my life, I'm his baby (I'm 40 married with 3 children). I've been reading your comments...God I don't know what to say, I don't know how i would reacted if mom soon doesn't remember me. Please help me"
Hello Ricardo, and welcome

First of all, don't panic.
As Norman replied to you, a little forgetfulness does not automatically = Alzheimer's!

My mother is in what I believe to be the early stages of AD, but that is yet to be confirmed definitely. We have been to the doctor several times over a period of months for interviews, he has run blood samples which turned out to show nothing physical amiss (like anemia, diabetes etc.) Also, depression can have the same symptoms. So the next steps are further assessments, like a Memory Clinic, perhaps a psychogeriatrician and so on. No one says right off "oh, you forget things these days, so you must have Alzheimer's" without looking at other possible causes of symptoms and changes in your mother's behaviour.

IF it is definitely a diagnosis of my mother Alzheimer's, then it is something we didn't want, but something we'll just have to deal with, and I will have to give her an increasing amount of support in the future. Obviously I shall be worried about it, but we all worry about our loved ones all the time, especially when they are elderly or unwell in some way. However, my Mum is 86, and still generally quite capable of dealing with her normal domestic routine and day-to-day living so long as nothing too unusual happens. Sometimes she forgets what day of the week to expect the milkman to call for his payment, or which day is dustbin day (garbage collection US), or she has forgotten appointments with the chiropodist and a few birthdays.

From what you have said, I have made a few assumptions (which may of course be quite wrong!) It seems as though you may live some distance from your parents, whereas your sister lives nearby and possible sees them more often than you can? As such, she IS more likely to notice changes in how they are coping with life, whereas even if you phone them everyday, you may not notice such things. I agree you should take notice of her opinion, and those of your other 7 siblings, but going into a panic isn't appropriate, or helpful. A large, supportive family can help elderly parents with aspects of life they are starting to find difficult, so you are not alone in your situation (IF if is diagnosed as AD). However, many 'old people' in their seventies are fiercely independent & proud of it (don't forget, their generation fought a war for their freedom) and may resist "support" that they don't feel they need, so you'll have to be tactful and feel your way without offending them!

Perhaps you could visit them quite soon, to form your own opinion. Perhaps you could get together with some of your brothers & sisters to discuss family matters, calmly. Even if it isn't Alzheimer's, this might be a good time for you all to recognise that your Mum & Dad are getting to the twilight of their lives, and make the most of each excuse to get together for family birthdays and other occasions. Sometimes, they can slip to the back of our minds when our normal family lives are taken up with children, and their activities and school routines. We tend to take the 'oldies' for granted a little, don't we, because they have always been there for us. We have to make a bit of extra effort perhaps, to ensure WE are there for THEM.

Best wishes, and post again to let us know how things are going. There are many people who come here who care for AD-sufferers, at all stages of the disease, and they'll willingly answer any questions you may have about overcoming or getting round practical problems which commonly arise.
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