Hi Everyone
I am a full time carer for my mother whom has had vas dem since Oct 03.
I live with my parents (I'm 38!) and have no children or never married as I've looked after mum since I was 21 as she's had other illnesses since then and couldn't cope.
I now seem to have the role of chief carer. I do everything from cooking to physio. The result has been that for the past 4 years I have suffered panic attacks and mild agoraphobia.
I want to do what's right by mum and dad (whom is healthy but 77)
I have 3 older siblings whom do nothing but give the odd visit whilst I make them tea and food etc, which is just another burden to my day.
I have a so called "care package" which is rubbish but the biggest problem is mum wants me beside her at all times. Even if I leave the room for 2 mins she almost cries when I come back and says she thought I'd gone. She's not always sure my father is her husband and always wants me with her. This is starting to seriously do my head in. I need to get away from her during the day. I spend all my time sitting with her or worrying that she's missing me even when I go to the loo. I am a seething mess of nerves. I have a sitter now twice a week which started last week but I feel so uncomfortable that I stay out for 4 hours with dad even though we don't want to. We find it hard with all these strangers around, even though they are meant to be helping.
I got engaged recently and now my siblings are trying to force me to stay at home when I get married so that mum won't go into a home.
I am so torn I feel it would be best to maybe give up my fiance and go back to being lonely. The guilt of wanting a life is killing me. I can't please them all and I'm utterly miserable, I am even trying to ruin my relationship so that it won't be an issue anymore, but my fiance seems to love me very much and is putting up with a lot.
Has anyone else been in this situation?
I don't want my mum in a home, my dad couldn't even manage alone as he can't even cook. No one seems to care that I am going in sane yet all I care about is hurting or displeasing others. I'm no saint but I want to make everyone happy and I just can't.
Can anyone whose been in the situation of wanting to marry late in life and maybe have a child of my own, advise or help me. PLEASE! Does anyone else have the problem of a stalking parent and how do you deal with it?
I am a full time carer for my mother whom has had vas dem since Oct 03.
I live with my parents (I'm 38!) and have no children or never married as I've looked after mum since I was 21 as she's had other illnesses since then and couldn't cope.
I now seem to have the role of chief carer. I do everything from cooking to physio. The result has been that for the past 4 years I have suffered panic attacks and mild agoraphobia.
I want to do what's right by mum and dad (whom is healthy but 77)
I have 3 older siblings whom do nothing but give the odd visit whilst I make them tea and food etc, which is just another burden to my day.
I have a so called "care package" which is rubbish but the biggest problem is mum wants me beside her at all times. Even if I leave the room for 2 mins she almost cries when I come back and says she thought I'd gone. She's not always sure my father is her husband and always wants me with her. This is starting to seriously do my head in. I need to get away from her during the day. I spend all my time sitting with her or worrying that she's missing me even when I go to the loo. I am a seething mess of nerves. I have a sitter now twice a week which started last week but I feel so uncomfortable that I stay out for 4 hours with dad even though we don't want to. We find it hard with all these strangers around, even though they are meant to be helping.
I got engaged recently and now my siblings are trying to force me to stay at home when I get married so that mum won't go into a home.
I am so torn I feel it would be best to maybe give up my fiance and go back to being lonely. The guilt of wanting a life is killing me. I can't please them all and I'm utterly miserable, I am even trying to ruin my relationship so that it won't be an issue anymore, but my fiance seems to love me very much and is putting up with a lot.
Has anyone else been in this situation?
I don't want my mum in a home, my dad couldn't even manage alone as he can't even cook. No one seems to care that I am going in sane yet all I care about is hurting or displeasing others. I'm no saint but I want to make everyone happy and I just can't.
Can anyone whose been in the situation of wanting to marry late in life and maybe have a child of my own, advise or help me. PLEASE! Does anyone else have the problem of a stalking parent and how do you deal with it?
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