I know that a lot of us on here are in the early stages of moving our husbands/wives/partners into care homes and suddenly starting a new way of life - singly but not single - on our own at home. How do you cope with this change, when we are bereaved but not really, divorced but not really, suddenly freed from the demands of 24/7 care? What are your tips for survival? In the first few weeks I felt physically ill and was so busy with managing the change (and with work) that I was as stressed as ever. This month (our third) i have made a conscious decision to do as little as possible. The bare essentials at work. Not going on holiday, but also not doing anything I don't want to do. Just regular visits to the care home (3 full days a week including travel time). Otherwise just being still and seeing what happens - what floats to the surface. I've had phases of incredible guilt, worry (esp over money) and recently even boredom (something I never had the chance to feel before) but I have tried to just let it all wash over me. I haven't gone out and planned new activities yet (maybe in September). I have felt how very hard it is to break out of the old house/work-bound routine. I am so used to saying 'No' to things it is going to take a real effort to say 'yes'. I still feel most comfortable in my skin when visiting my husband. I know that others probably think we are free to enjoy ourselves - but it isn't like that at all. How do you manage the transition from carer-at-home to carer with partner in care? What do others do?