That's OK - hope the Karaoke went well!Thank you for your good wishes and for calling me friend.
TIPPING POINT
- Thread starter maryjoan
- Start date
Fascinating, but not surprising. Hearing is said to be the last thing to go, so sounds must be deeply connected.
I suppose the sound and rhythm of a mother's heart beat. Most of us tap and sway to music even when, like me, a sing voice is not apparent.
I hope you have had a good evening, I fell asleep while watching the Reindeer, what I did see was beautiful the Sami yoike (?) was entrancing. I love the rhythm.
I suppose the sound and rhythm of a mother's heart beat. Most of us tap and sway to music even when, like me, a sing voice is not apparent.
I hope you have had a good evening, I fell asleep while watching the Reindeer, what I did see was beautiful the Sami yoike (?) was entrancing. I love the rhythm.
The karaoke went well but then we had a continence isssue when we got to bed so this morning is a bit of a nightmare. It’s not an easy problem to deal with when not in our own home and with me being a bit the worse for wear but, hey ho there we go. I have a wash on and I hope we get a dry bed later! It isn’t made easier by my wife just repeating that she wants to go home. I think this will be our last foreign trip - such a pity as it was going so well.
I was kind of thankful that I was drunk last night as we met 5 members of a family from Birmingham in the bar and they pleaded with me to sing Danny Boy for the 88 year old ‘mother’ of the group. I love the song but can’t even listen to it without crying. Anyway, I told them, and all my own company, that I couldn’t sing it without crying but they pleaded and the only help my friends were was to fetch a fistful of paper towels from the loo, put them in my hand , and guide me to the mike. I was proud of myself as I nearly made it to the end before I broke down. So I cried in front of a full bar last night - great. I just can’t help it with that song - I can be hard as nails but that song just does it every time.
Things can only get better, I hope.
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU BOTH !!!!
The one that gets me to bits is "The Little Boy that Santa Claus Forgot"
My Dad used to line us up on Christmas Eve and sing it to us - just to make us realise that there were poorer children than us out there.
We are a large Irish Family so "Danny Boy" resounds with me as well.
They are all singers - 1 uncle sang for Sadler Wells, but me? I cannot hold a tune in a bucket as last nights Carols in church would prove......
It's hard, but we can all pretend that everything is well, just for one day.... maybe.
xx
The one that gets me to bits is "The Little Boy that Santa Claus Forgot"
My Dad used to line us up on Christmas Eve and sing it to us - just to make us realise that there were poorer children than us out there.
We are a large Irish Family so "Danny Boy" resounds with me as well.
They are all singers - 1 uncle sang for Sadler Wells, but me? I cannot hold a tune in a bucket as last nights Carols in church would prove......
It's hard, but we can all pretend that everything is well, just for one day.... maybe.
xx
Things are improving here.
I have the bedding drying on the line and we are lucky enough to have good weather here. My wife doesn't remember her accident so was a bit confused about the washing but is now asleep on the sofa.
I may try to get a nap myself.
Merry Christmas.
I have the bedding drying on the line and we are lucky enough to have good weather here. My wife doesn't remember her accident so was a bit confused about the washing but is now asleep on the sofa.
I may try to get a nap myself.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas, just watched two Snowman films, husband watching Father Christmas while I get ready to go to family for meal at four when it is dark, a family tradition started when kids were small to show the magic of candles.
I phoned a friend now on her own, feeling blessed. Love to you all. X
I phoned a friend now on her own, feeling blessed. Love to you all. X
I hope the family meal went well Alice. It's lovely to have a family tradition that has some of the childhood magic of Christmas in it.
I have some great memories of my son from the time when he still believed in Santa and my wife loves to hear the tales every time I tell them.
I have some great memories of my son from the time when he still believed in Santa and my wife loves to hear the tales every time I tell them.
Many thanks Maryjoan for your helpful reply. Where here at our daughters and a little break for me with others helping. As the routine is different my wife is anxious, obviously, over most things so wants to clear the table while we’re still eating, wants to go to bed at 15.00 but daughter stays firm but it’s a struggle. Children feel the ripples of the anxiety so avoid contact. So much different when they used to cuddle up to nanny on the sofa. I’m luckier than some I know. At least I have some people around me but back home it’s just me again. I do hope you had some Christmas cheer, that dementia never obliterated everything. My best wishes to you.
Thankyou, Dutchman, I have just been looking at Christmas pictures posted on facebook, of various parts of my family. Brother 250 miles away, son 420 miles away, crowds of people, lots of fun - makes me sad. I only saw the carer yesterday - I watched 5 episodes of The Chase one after the other, with my OH. Then a Dad's Army I have seen umpteen times before. Not much fun living with a PWD, is it? He had his lunch, and then did not speak to me for much of the day...just how he is.
Well, today will be better. Daughter. with her husband and 2 little people, coming over - so that will be lovely...
Then back to what passes as normal.
I have lined up a few things for myself in the coming year - I have to - one is a trip to see brother, another to see son, another to see Paul Jones in the Blues Band - so things will be better.
Seasons Greetings to you !
I lost my compassionate battle this morning and I’m so upset I let rip at my husband, why did I allow myself to to tell him a few home truths... I won’t bore with the details but apparently he says there’s nothing wrong with him apart from a bad hip!!!! There’s actually quite a lot of medical conditions not least Vascular.
My Tipping point” I do very little for him and he does not need my help”...I’m so upset but I guess as it’s stressful Christmas time it must be ok to feel this way ..I think I’m talking in riddles Sorry just needed to rant , thank you
A x
My Tipping point” I do very little for him and he does not need my help”...I’m so upset but I guess as it’s stressful Christmas time it must be ok to feel this way ..I think I’m talking in riddles Sorry just needed to rant , thank you
A x
No, not talking in riddles @Starbright - I know exactly what you mean.
Be gentle with yourself - I think we all snap at times.
PS - your husband has got anosognosia, which is a little talked about symptom of dementia where they are totally unable to comprehend that they have anything wrong with them. This means, of course, that they are fit as a fiddle, are doing everything themself, and you arnt doing anything at all!
Be gentle with yourself - I think we all snap at times.
PS - your husband has got anosognosia, which is a little talked about symptom of dementia where they are totally unable to comprehend that they have anything wrong with them. This means, of course, that they are fit as a fiddle, are doing everything themself, and you arnt doing anything at all!
Thank you @canary ...I didn’t know there was a word for “there’s nothing wrong with me” I wonder if himself knows and to be honest I’ve read so much about this evil illness my head spins. We carers try so hard to make life easier and more bearable but nothing I do or say seems to make any difference. Having said that it seems that if I agree with or not question him then life sometimes gets a bit peaceful.
It’s just not my day today ...I’ll try harder I will, I will , I will
A x
and to be honest I’ve read so much about this evil illness my head spins. We carers try so hard to make life easier and more bearable but nothing I do or say seems to make any difference. Having said that it seems that if I agree with or not question him then life sometimes gets a bit peaceful. It’s just not my day today ...I’ll try harder I will, I will , I will
A x
@karaokePete i loathe that song. My father in law’s name and his self important belief it was his song. An insensitive, uncaring twerp who didn’t deserve any song. I am gnashing my teeth as I type. Lol
No, "himself" wont be aware, but I think it helps us carers to understand that they are not being purposely difficult, or in denial, but truly and honestly think that they dont have anything wrong - and theres nothing you can do to change it. Yup, agreeing or giving non-answers and not questioning anything is the way to go.Thank you @canary ...I didn’t know there was a word for “there’s nothing wrong with me” I wonder if himself knows
It’s just not my day today ...I’ll try harder I will, I will , I will
A x
Ah A you hit a chord with me.
I lost it and the inevitable home truths erupted. I do wish I had more control, as I told him I hated him. I don’t, but at that moment I did, I’m so ashamed. He doesn’t remember everything, but, of course, he did remember that. And he keeps reminding me!
As I mentioned my husband has to wear pads day and night. I’ve been fitting them day and night since March. The night one is complicated, and has to be done just right, otherwise we have wet everything. It’s difficult for me to do whilst I’m still not very mobile. Not that I need to do handstands or anything!
Last night he got very angry and told me he was going to show me how to do his pad properly because I was useless at it! I said how do I do it then? He said I don’t know, I have no idea I’ve never done it!
He too thinks there is nothing wrong with him. He certainly denies anything dementia related.
Oh well, perhaps it is me... I have spent my life apologising, I still do. I’m too long in the tooth to change now.
Take care, A, much love, B xx
I know exactly where you are coming from - I am in the same situation and it is unbelievably tough - I let rip as well sometimes, only to find he doesn't remember me having said anything......
No, not talking in riddles @Starbright - I know exactly what you mean.
Be gentle with yourself - I think we all snap at times.
PS - your husband has got anosognosia, which is a little talked about symptom of dementia where they are totally unable to comprehend that they have anything wrong with them. This means, of course, that they are fit as a fiddle, are doing everything themself, and you arnt doing anything at all!
I realised this about 18 months agoi- long word, but I do keep reading the definition - and it does help me - not to understand, but to realise that it is part of the disease. In his eyes, I am not his carer, I am not his next of kin, he can manage on his own - wonder why I am here at all.....
Pete, I hope there was no more washing.
Yes, the day went well, a quiet start followed a delicious meal. It was good to have it cooked for me, we all ate too much as there was such a variety.
Followed by some silly games, rules adapted to suit conditions! Ages from 7 to 88.
It caused a lot of laughter.
Both tired but looking forward to seeing other daughter and part of her family tomorrow. Again our eldest is doing the catering, so fairly easy! I will try to get back to normal after that.
I hope it is going well for you.
Somehow this should have been posted yesterday Pete.
Well now it is all over, so back to normal.
I think just having people around made a difference, I did not have sole responsibility, my husband ate things he fancied and I knew that there was help if he choked. He didn't but .........
Perhaps we should form a community and share the burdens! I am thinking of the Island by Victoria Hislop!
Yes, the day went well, a quiet start followed a delicious meal. It was good to have it cooked for me, we all ate too much as there was such a variety.
Followed by some silly games, rules adapted to suit conditions! Ages from 7 to 88.
It caused a lot of laughter.
Both tired but looking forward to seeing other daughter and part of her family tomorrow. Again our eldest is doing the catering, so fairly easy! I will try to get back to normal after that.
I hope it is going well for you.
Somehow this should have been posted yesterday Pete.
Well now it is all over, so back to normal.
I think just having people around made a difference, I did not have sole responsibility, my husband ate things he fancied and I knew that there was help if he choked. He didn't but .........
Perhaps we should form a community and share the burdens! I am thinking of the Island by Victoria Hislop!
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