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TIPPING POINT

Martarita

Registered User
May 11, 2018
112
I really do understand when you say tipping point,yesterday I was right on the edge of my tipping point ,went out yesterday morning which is one of my OH's things to go out every morning,but the fact of the matter is when we get to wherever we go ,we get out of the car and I start to direct which way we're going I'm pointing or nudging him this way that way ,go in cafe for coffee,pointing to where toilets are or taking him and waiting out side the door so he doesn't get lost bad day for me yesterday I felt sad and down .the edge of my tipping point
A better day today , went out as usual, pointed and nudged and direct him as usual ,he enjoys his mornings out ,tipping point or not I have to just get on with it and stop feeling sorry for myself but it's still hard too come to terms with no matter how long he's had dementia he relies on me so much . Bless him . Take care everyone X
Tons of ((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))
i
 

Rosebush

Registered User
Apr 2, 2018
1,478
My tipping point was yesterday when I visited my husband in hospital, I was putting clean clothes in his bedside cupboard and I noticed the clean pyjamas I had put there the day before had gone! maybe tomorrow when I go somebody will have found them, they were new, so not very happy. I hope the new pair I bought today don't go the same way. Lx
 

B72

Registered User
Jul 21, 2018
132
Yes, I find a similarity, I find our children have unrealistic ideas, one seldom visits so she see a front as you said.
The other nearby sees the reality but then suggests things that I should do to help more, social activities, walking etc. In fact sticking plaster! My age and health are not considered?
Exactly. Or experience.
 
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karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,635
N Ireland
Yes, I find a similarity, I find our children have unrealistic ideas, one seldom visits so she see a front as you said.
The other nearby sees the reality but then suggests things that I should do to help more, social activities, walking etc. In fact sticking plaster! My age and health are not considered?
From the beginning of my dementia experience I've been calling that the 'curse' of dementia. It's largely a condition of the elderly and that means that any surviving spouse who is the carer will also be elderly and, possibly, experiencing their own problems.

My wife was early on-set at the time of diagnosis and I'm a year younger than her but I was still starting to feel the physical and mental slowing, plus the wear & tear pains that come with advancing age. At the time of diagnosis my first question was about home care in the future because issues with my back mean I've no chance of lifting my wife on a regular basis should she become immobile.

I think others see things from their own perspective as a younger person. Even in my 50's I wouldn't have had to worry about a physical burden. 10-15 years made such a difference to me, 20-30yrs will even more so, I'm sure!:(
 

AliceA

Registered User
May 27, 2016
2,858
I have to admit that I did not 'understand' when dementia first appeared - I cried a great deal that first 6months - but understanding has helped a great deal and I laugh again now most days.
Finding joy in small things and humour in others is a good coping strategy if not a cure. Xxx
 

AliceA

Registered User
May 27, 2016
2,858
From the beginning of my dementia experience I've been calling that the 'curse' of dementia. It's largely a condition of the elderly and that means that any surviving spouse who is the carer will also be elderly and, possibly, experiencing their own problems.

My wife was early on-set at the time of diagnosis and I'm a year younger than her but I was still starting to feel the physical and mental slowing, plus the wear & tear pains that come with advancing age. At the time of diagnosis my first question was about home care in the future because issues with my back mean I've no chance of lifting my wife on a regular basis should she become immobile.

I think others see things from their own perspective as a younger person. Even in my 50's I wouldn't have had to worry about a physical burden. 10-15 years made such a difference to me, 20-30yrs will even more so, I'm sure!:(

Yes, Pete, you are right. Now at 82 I do not have the physical stamina or the strength.
It takes an age to do simple things like putting on socks, and these are mine! :)
My curiosity and interest in the wider issues is still there but the energy isn't.
We used to garden, walk etc. all day now no longer. Sometime a short walk takes three times as long.
One full day on medical appointments needs two after to recover.
So our daughters imagine it is the same as they find. Many 'children' are in denial about their own parents, I have often been told how someone is doing so well, then I find they are younger than me! I think it is fear too.
Fortunately I am not required to lift, even so I get sciatica if I over stretch.

What you say extends to planners and governments too, they cannot see further than their own perspective.
 

Martarita

Registered User
May 11, 2018
112
I really do understand when you say tipping point,yesterday I was right on the edge of my tipping point ,went out yesterday morning which is one of my OH's things to go out every morning,but the fact of the matter is when we get to wherever we go ,we get out of the car and I start to direct which way we're going I'm pointing or nudging him this way that way ,go in cafe for coffee,pointing to where toilets are or taking him and waiting out side the door so he doesn't get lost bad day for me yesterday I felt sad and down .the edge of my tipping point
A better day today , went out as usual, pointed and nudged and direct him as usual ,he enjoys his mornings out ,tipping point or not I have to just get on with it and stop feeling sorry for myself but it's still hard too come to terms with no matter how long he's had dementia he relies on me so much . Bless him . Take care everyone X

i
Thank you canary for the hug I was in much need of .x
 

maryjoan

Registered User
Mar 25, 2017
1,443
South of the Border
Follow on from yesterdays debacle when OH tried to change a lightbulb...... another light bulb gone today - this time in the floor lamp in the sitting room - he decided we would be much better sitting in the dark !!! At least the Christmas tree gives some twinkly light !
 

maryjoan

Registered User
Mar 25, 2017
1,443
South of the Border
Todays Tipping Point - My daughter and I decorated a real tree outside, and led the 3 lots of lights into the front window, under the blind and into the electric socket. So far so good - it looked lovely.

I dared go out for an hour or so. When I came back OH had moved the tree, twisting it around, disturbing all the lights and baubles etc. Since then the blinds have not opened/closed properly.

I have just spent the best part of an hour - you know the sort of blinds with the plastic bobbly bits - you would not believe ( well, you would if you have a PWD) how the leads from the lights were entangled in the plastic - I had to sort them out, I tried and I tried, my back ached so I brought a chair, I made him move his chair, put on my reading glasses and tried again....... and again.

Such a mess - then he commented he had noticed it was a mess, and had unravelled it for me.

The Christmas Joy of living with a PWD !!:(;):)

 

AliceA

Registered User
May 27, 2016
2,858
Todays Tipping Point - My daughter and I decorated a real tree outside, and led the 3 lots of lights into the front window, under the blind and into the electric socket. So far so good - it looked lovely.

I dared go out for an hour or so. When I came back OH had moved the tree, twisting it around, disturbing all the lights and baubles etc. Since then the blinds have not opened/closed properly.

I have just spent the best part of an hour - you know the sort of blinds with the plastic bobbly bits - you would not believe ( well, you would if you have a PWD) how the leads from the lights were entangled in the plastic - I had to sort them out, I tried and I tried, my back ached so I brought a chair, I made him move his chair, put on my reading glasses and tried again....... and again.

Such a mess - then he commented he had noticed it was a mess, and had unravelled it for me.

The Christmas Joy of living with a PWD !!:(;):)
Oh, dear! Xxx
 

Martarita

Registered User
May 11, 2018
112
Todays Tipping Point - My daughter and I decorated a real tree outside, and led the 3 lots of lights into the front window, under the blind and into the electric socket. So far so good - it looked lovely.

I dared go out for an hour or so. When I came back OH had moved the tree, twisting it around, disturbing all the lights and baubles etc. Since then the blinds have not opened/closed properly.

I have just spent the best part of an hour - you know the sort of blinds with the plastic bobbly bits - you would not believe ( well, you would if you have a PWD) how the leads from the lights were entangled in the plastic - I had to sort them out, I tried and I tried, my back ached so I brought a chair, I made him move his chair, put on my reading glasses and tried again....... and again.

Such a mess - then he commented he had noticed it was a mess, and had unravelled it for me.

The Christmas Joy of living with a PWD !!:(;):)
Ho dear , I had the same trouble with the Christmas tree and window lights , Never a dull moment !!!
 

maryjoan

Registered User
Mar 25, 2017
1,443
South of the Border
It’s like leaving a child on their own you never know what you are coming home to!
Exactly ! In the bathroom I keep spare toilet rolls in a basket - little 2 year old grandson has been here today, and when I went into bathroom he had built a tower out of the loo rolls - I remarked on that to OH, but he did not find it amusing at all - he and grandson's minds are merging together I think!
 

Martarita

Registered User
May 11, 2018
112
I like the image of the Christmas tree twinkle !! I have just bought some solar Christmas lights - it doesn’t get dark till about 9pm and we are off to bed !! :rolleyes:But I’ll fire them up !
I
Exactly ! In the bathroom I keep spare toilet rolls in a basket - little 2 year old grandson has been here today, and when I went into bathroom he had built a tower out of the loo rolls - I remarked on that to OH, but he did not find it amusing at all - he and grandson's minds are merging together I think!
HO Yes ,it's like having another toddler sometimes's , sorry to say but that's our life now as the saying goes onwards and upwards. !!! Take Care. Xx