1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. Susan11

    Susan11 Registered User

    Nov 18, 2018
    1,521
    Yes I will miss your comments too . Always sensible and very useful advice. I wish you well.
    Susan
     
  2. Dutchman

    Dutchman Registered User

    May 26, 2017
    375
    Male
    Devon
    I’ve cleaned my teeth she says. How I say as you haven’t used any water. Yes. That’s all she keeps saying

    Should I be grateful at all? No washing of hair or body. Clean underwear on today. Result! It’s like living with a 4 year old only without the cuteness
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,597
    Kent
    You will be sorely missed @karaokePete.

    I hope you will not become isolated in your caring role.
     
  4. PalSal

    PalSal Registered User

    @Karaoke Pete....really sorry to hear that. Thank you for all your service to the Talking Point. Can you not just stay a member and not be a moderator? Just one among many? You did service...let someone else take over. Wishing you all the best, in your focus as carer. We will miss you all the best.
     
  5. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,597
    Kent
    Hello @Dutchman.

    I don`t think any of us can be grateful for dementia.

    Is it possible your wife has developed a fear of water? I have read of this from others here on Dementia Talking Point.
     
  6. anxious annie

    anxious annie Registered User

    Jan 2, 2019
    133
    Hi Pete
    Thank you for all your advice over the months I have been on the forum. You will be missed, wishing you well in your caring role.
     
  7. Sarasa

    Sarasa Registered User

    Apr 13, 2018
    500
    Hi Pete,
    Sorry to see you go, you've been so supportive of everyone else, I hope you have the support you need too as you go forward. I
     
  8. Tea and. toast

    Tea and. toast Registered User

    May 8, 2019
    17
    Hello Karaoke Pete, just a note to say thank you for your welcome and information when I joined the forum. I have found your posts a great help. Wishing you well.
     
  9. karaokePete

    karaokePete Registered User

    Jul 23, 2017
    4,935
    N Ireland
    Thanks everyone. Your replies are humbling.

    I had always hoped that I was doing some good somewhere when I posted on the forum and I'm glad that so many of the people with whom I have interacted have seen my goodbye. I didn't want to make an unseemly splash by starting a separate thread.

    Things are moving apace with me in that my wife has recently started 2 days a week at a Day Centre and I'm trying to move forward with a meds review for her and a carers assessment for me, along with a few other things. We were in a bad place when I stopped making regular posts a month ago but we are both happier and somewhat more hopeful now. I'm nearly back to my usual optimistic self. My wife just carries on in her usual way but it's great to be able to help her. :)

    Once again, best wishes to all of you. It has been an honour to have given useful advice to some of you.

    Pete
     
  10. northumbrian_k

    northumbrian_k Registered User

    Mar 2, 2017
    795
    Male
    Newcastle
    I'll be sorry to see you go and miss your sound advice @karaokePete
     
  11. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,570
    Female
    South coast
    Im sorry you were in such a bad place @karaokePete and I hope things will settle again.

    You can always come back again sometime in the future
    xx
     
  12. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,976
    Suffolk
    Really sorry to see you go, Pete. I always enjoy your contributions.
     
  13. Starbright

    Starbright Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    431
    Female
    So sorry @karaokePete to see you go ...wishing you strength for whatever lies ahead
    Hugs A x
     
  14. Janie M

    Janie M Registered User

    Jun 12, 2018
    62
    @karaokePete your words of wisdom will be greatly missed . You always gave good, much appreciated advice. Take care
     
  15. Dutchman

    Dutchman Registered User

    May 26, 2017
    375
    Male
    Devon
    ....
    best wishes and good luck
     
  16. maryjoan

    maryjoan Registered User

    Mar 25, 2017
    1,326
    Female
    South of the Border
    Oh ! You have been a fount of all knowledge for me and for many others - I hope your 'new' life goes well, as you concentrate on your caring role.

    Very best of luck to you,and so many thanks from me
     
  17. jugglingmum

    jugglingmum Registered User

    Jan 5, 2014
    5,192
    Female
    Chester
    @karaokePete - sorry to see you go, you've always been very good at posting to help others.

    Maybe you'll be back at some stage.

    I think we all go through phases of finding, however supportive DTP is, it can also drag us down reading about all the other problems going on with others, and in your role as a moderator this would have much more so.

    I hope that the daycare is good for both of you, and wish you both well.
     
  18. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,598
    Female
    Dundee
    Wishing you well @karaokePete and thank you for your contribution as a host. I hope you and M can continue to have good times together.
     
  19. Dutchman

    Dutchman Registered User

    May 26, 2017
    375
    Male
    Devon
    My wife is increasing spending more and more time fiddling with stuff in our little bedroom. I’ve now lost it completely because she wants her hair washed and now refuses to rinse the shampoo from her hair. So I don’t care she can go out with wet hair full of shampoo for all I care. I’m downstairs and
    shes upstairs. I have no patience with it any more. I’ve had 4 years of this and I’m reaching a point where she can jump off a cliff. She also now getting personal and being nasty about my physical appearance in a way of getting back at me for reminding her what she needs to do...cleaning teeth, fresh underwear, etc. Oh how I wish I could be on my own. I really believe I could be better off
     
  20. Grahamstown

    Grahamstown Registered User

    Jan 12, 2018
    1,409
    East of England
    I am with you on this because I have had a difficult weekend too. He hasn’t shaved, showered or changed his clothes lately and looks terrible, he is not going out of the house and his only exercise is going up and down the stairs. For two days he has lived in his night clothes. Getting him to do these things is a struggle for me and when I do get him cleaned up he looks good, like normal as he used to be. Yesterday I had a moment when I thought, here I am struggling away doing absolutely everything while he says I want this and I want that during the short periods he is up. For a brief moment I felt grim, and faced him with this truth and he said yes I must help more and my heart broke. I have to say to myself that he cannot help it, he is a very sick man who thinks he is fine which protects him from the truth. He picked up a photograph of himself taken 10-15 years ago and said ‘I don’t think I have changed much’, and I just said mm.
     

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