I know how frustrating it all is, I do feel trying to prove a point is a bit self defeating, any thing that confronts takes more effort than a 'teflon' answer. You are late........ Sorry, things took longer than I thought, never mind I am here now. Is that you? Yes, everything is all right, just turn over an go back to sleep. I find what is being asked for is your presence or even anyone presence. dementia is a lonely place for all concerned. Sometimes when my husband sleep I do things I want but I am lucky the home is small and compact so it is easier to be 'there'. I also top up assurance when I can, I thank often, I touch as I pass a chair, I kiss the top of his head. Small loving gestures that reassure and enable. I know this may not always work, but a softer tone can soften the situation. If this goes against our nature, play a role like an actor until it becomes a habit. Sometimes when I have to do something I find difficult I Act It Out as if not me. Difficult phone call? Sit to desk or table with paper, pen, diary etc. Do it as if I was doing it for someone else. I have always found it easier to fight another person's battle rather than my own. Now this is our battle so having to do it for two with the depleted energy of one.