Yes, you are right I know and what makes it worse is that there is no solution or alternative to the situation. I was asked the other day by her brother how I was getting on and that he didn’t know how I put up with it I said what’s the alternative, I have no choice. One of two things could happen to radically change things .....I die or my wife dies. There, that’s the elephant in the room and I’m ashamed that I even think this way but honestly, hasn’t many thought the same but we care because a large part of us still hold those feelings of tenderness and compassion however hard that is sometimes.
The GP put it very plainly to me in the early days - I have two ways out of this situation - either I up and leave my OH, or one of us dies...... says it all really