Time to get head out of the sand?

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Kriss, Mar 5, 2015.

  1. Kriss

    Kriss Registered User

    May 20, 2004
    I am back after a long time just getting on with it. I travelled this path with my Dad and my Aunt. Mum was diagnosed with VD a few years ago I briefly popped in to TP but I was maybe selfish and couldn't face sharing the daily dose of depression that the posts here can bring and have been lucky that until now everything has been working out ok - well as ok as it gets.

    2 weeks ago Mum virtually collapsed/slumped and Doc was called out prescribing antibiotics for a chest infection. Physically she had improved almost daily aside from not wanting to eat or drink. Mentally she is much much worse than before. Doc came again this week and think maybe appetite will improve once antibiotics have finished but i'm not convinced. this morning she managed half of some porridge but was then sick.

    Not sure if it's just the infection that is still causing a problem, or if the mental deterioration has taken her to a new low point and that maybe the end is coming into sight?

    Has anyone else been down this path with the horrible flu like lergies this winter?
  2. supertrooper

    supertrooper Registered User

    Jul 18, 2011
    Hi Kriss

    I have just noticed your post, thought I'd say hello. From what you say, you seem pretty low, I'm sorry you are feeling like this. It can be so frustrating when a chest infection lingers like it appears to be with your mum. There's so much extra work you have to put in to try and help her feel better. Apart from the porridge what else has she eaten? And did she manage to keep that down?

    Please can you tell me a little more. Would love to help if I can.
  3. RedLou

    RedLou Registered User

    Jul 30, 2014
    It isn't selfish. I was told by a dementia professional to be very careful using this forum, and I have found a balance over the months that suits me and specifically threads with posters who keep me upbeat.
  4. Kriss

    Kriss Registered User

    May 20, 2004
    Thank you RedLou and Supertrooper. I really do appreciate TP - it was a life saver particularly when we were coping with my Aunts decline living over an hour away. It was a great source of support and at the time I felt in a position to give back support to others so was always involved. It was only after my Aunts death that I suddenly found I couldn't face being here any more as I didn't seem able to empathise without feeling the weight of everyone's burden. I made good friends here in the electronic ether and I am sorry that we have since lost touch, I just hope they have all been able to move on and find a release since.

    I am pleased to report that after the added horrors of sickness and diarrhoea last week, Mum has picked up physically now, still not eating as well as before and quite fussy (fussier!), and I'd like her to drink more but it is improving a little day by day. Yesterday she was well enough to attend her day centre and although very tired on her return she is bright and cheery again today and looking forward to "Going to Cheltenham races" (on the tv) this afternoon :)

    Mentally there has been another drop - ability to use a spoon/fork/cup comes and goes - she seems to lose focus and then forgets how, so now needs someone to sit with her throughout which was not a problem at all previously. Yes - I was pretty low I guess - it didn't help that I was hit by the chest infection at the same time - and I did several times wonder if the end was close for her. However we now have a slightly different routine - we have an amazing carer who Mum adores coming to help to dress and undress morning and evening and I am going to try and keep that going even it it means reducing the day centre days. Next week we have some sort of assessment (social care assessment?) not that I feel it will be of much use but you never know.

    Onwards - I wish a could say "and upwards" - but maybe that would be a little too optimistic. Thanks once again - I promise to check in a little more often and give back as I know how it can help xxx
  5. Ash148

    Ash148 Registered User

    Jan 1, 2014
    Dublin, Ireland
    Hi Kriss, my mum got this chest infection and we thought it was the end (her doctor said afterwards that he had thought so too). However, she has since shaken it off and is actually now physically and mentally in slightly better shape than before (more often says the name of the person visiting, making eye contact more). It's peculiarly unsettling: on the one hand, I'm glad she has rallied, on the other, I had reached a stage of acceptance that her struggle with this horrible illness might be nearly over. I wish I knew what was best for her or what was going through her mind.

    I completely emphasise with your feelings about TP: the supporthere is fantastic but the collective burden of the illness is enormous and sometimes overwhelming. I come and go too for that reason.

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