1. northern star

    northern star Registered User

    Dec 5, 2010
    16
    Yorkshire
    Hi not posted in a while,

    Mum has AZ and is at the stage where she needs some carers coming in each day around mealtimes as she now sometimes forgets/can't be bothered to make herself something to eat. She's been having Meals on Wheels during the week, at lunchtime, which she usually loves, but I suspect that she's now forgetting them and /or throwing them away!

    I need to arrange carers to come and check that she is eating and drinking enough, mainly over the lunchtime period, Myself and other family members call on her at teatimes. She is quite reluctant to have visits from "people she doesn't know" but I just can't cover the amount of time she needs checking as I work full-time.

    Can anyone out there advise me, how to persuade her to accept the help, and what sort of time is acceptable? Is a 30 minute visit sufficient, or as I suspect do the visits need to be a little longer. The carer does not need to cook for her, It;s just to check she has eaten and to make sure she's ok.

    thanks to all you lovely people
    :)
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,119
    Kent
    Hello northern star

    Would your mum accept help from people she thought were nurses? Many carers wear a uniform which could be taken for a nurses outfit. I tell my husband the carers in his home are nurses and he accepts it. I know it`s not truthful but it helps give him hope something is being done for him.


    The length of the visit will depend on how long it takes your mother to finish her meal.
     
  3. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    7,963
    North East England
    My Mum is convinced that the girls who come in to supervise her meds are nurses and so accepts them. Mind they get paid for 15 min visits and spend about 2 minutes with mum. Have a word with your local SS, they may be able to help.
     
  4. sunny

    sunny Registered User

    Sep 1, 2006
    598
    #4 sunny, Jun 23, 2011
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2011
    Hi Northern Star

    Just to say I think saying nurses maybe accepted more readily as she will understand that. I think the visit should be an hour - the carer does not have to cook the meal? - is this actually warming up one of those microwave meals or what type of meal is it - still Meals on Wheels? and more importantly make sure she is actually eating it and enjoying it so that does mean supervision which a shorter time would not provide. People sometimes need a lot of prompting to keep eating otherwise they will just "dream into space". Let us know how it goes.
     
  5. Jo1958

    Jo1958 Registered User

    Mar 31, 2010
    3,724
    Yorkshire
    Northern Star, hi
    Just a thought but are there any volunteer organisations in your area, you could ask the council or the GPs surgery or a carer's organisation. It might be easier if the person also sat and ate their lunch with your mum, it makes it less of a supervision visit and more of a social one.

    If I have a carer in over a mealtime, sitting with hubby, then I always get lunch for them both, the same thing, usually sandwiches and a cake, whatever. They sit and chat while they both eat and hubby is much more relaxed about it, he wouldn't eat if he was being watched by someone not eating too. Sorry, I hope that makes sense.

    I hope you find a way that works for you and your Mum, it's such a worry.
    With best wishes from Jo
     

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