Time for CH move?

[vinvin]

My mum been in care home for two months now not settling at all allways packing her things and tells me she is not staying there. Thing is she has escaped once from home police and my husband out driving around looking for her, found mile and half away at the station by Police. Yesterday she got out again apparently pushed her way passed someone else being let out, carers apparently tried to get her back in but she refused to go in and when one told her she could not go she punched them Eventually the manager just followed her and phoned my husband (I was at work) who went there and between them they managed to get her back in The home have now said they may not be able to keep her there but have spoken to Dr who has perscribed medication that will calm her down a little! and will see how se
e how it goes. Not sure I like the sound of that one.

Has anyone else experienced there relatives escaping from the CH? I am not very happy that this has happened twice in as many months also if she is playing up they keep ringing me asking me to try to talk to her and calm her down on 2 occasions they have even asked my 15 year old son to speak to his nan and calm her down surely if they are dementia trained they should be able to talk her around I don't mind talking to her but wonder if I should consider moving her or will the same happen elsewhere.

Any tips or words of wisdom would be much appreciated.

 

[at wits end]

I dont have experience of an escapee so to speak, but i have noticed that if my gran insists on seeing me out the front door a member of staff miraculously seems to appear with a little job they want her help with. I'm fortunate that she is in a great home and they have a receptionist/ admin person at a desk by the door most times.

I dont think you need to be dementia trained to know how to distract someone with a better option. I think this is there issue really,they obviously arent thinking it through!

 

[Carabosse]

I think it might just have been sheer luck that your mum got out, maybe the CH staff need to be more vigilent when letting people out just to make sure your mum isn't around at the time. If she gets to the door on her own unless she knows the code(s) i think she'll be fine.
Before mum was diagnosed she was taken to the local hospital, she would pack her bags threatening to go home, i had to go and explain what was going on as the hospital wouldn't have been able to stop her should she want to leave (which i found strange at the time, especially due to the state she was in).
Maybe some medication might be whats required, just to take the edge off her need to escape?

 

[Pheath]

Can see you’d be worried at this situation, it sounds as though the CH are not handling things very well and it doesn’t instil great confidence if they’re ringing you up frequently for help.

My dad’s home has an electronic combination code system at the front door which nobody with dementia would be able to operate so don’t have any fears about his escaping although have read posts from others where security at homes is much more lax. A low dose of calming med. is nothing to be too worried about though as it might well ease your mum’s distress and as long as it doesn’t knock her out could be a help. My dad has this and it’s lessened his agitation and aggression, otherwise his place at the home would have been in jeopardy.

Two months is still relatively early on in her stay and I’ve heard packing bags is very common behaviour, although obviously upsetting to witness. You might need to give it a bit longer although if you’re getting bad vibes and aren’t reassured sufficiently about the security aspect perhaps it’s time to look elsewhere

 

[Taz]

Dad is immobile so we don't have this problem (ours is more that he doesn't remember that two hip breaks means he can't now walk, hence the reason for being there in the first place, so he constantly tries to stand....and falls).
His CH has a number combination on each door in/out of the various sections and the front door. Each combination is different and there is a person on reception during the day.
The main problem is when folk visit who haven't been there before or who are not used to the way folk try to get out! The first time my Mum visited Dad on her own after he was transferred there, she let herself out not realising that a couple of the more mobile residents had followed her and as she went through the door they pushed passed her. Fortunately they only got into the reception and staff members were able to get them back into the secure area very quickly.
I have not had the CH staff phone to ask me to talk to Dad, they are, on the whole, very good at distracting him if needs be however my Mum has taken to phoning either myself or my daughter every day when she is there so that we can talk to Dad. I can't seem to get it across to her that I am at work!!!