I'm sure this is a topic that's been raised before so forgive me for repeating, but it's the first time the subject has arisen for me and I really feel I need some advice.
My mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's seven years ago and the progress has been mercifully slow. She is still living on her own in her bungalow and only in the last two years has she needed any help from carers. I have obviously done more and more over the years and long ago took over all the finances/shopping etc but she only has two visits a week to help her in and out of the bath, and four visits a week to help within evening meal.
However, she has deteriorated in the last six months and it has been noticeably more rapid in the last few weeks. She has lost a lot of weight too and it is apparent that she's just not eating much. I have had her reassessed by social services and they have increased her care package to three times a day to encourage eating, starting from next week.
Every day when I go to see her I see another example of her deterioration. She is becoming increasingly confused and I really feel that it may be time for her to go into residential care. She is already going to go into care for 3 weeks respite while I'm away in May and my feeling is that she may stay there. My worry is that I know she won't want this and I just don't know how to have this conversation with her about permanent residential care and leaving her home. She thinks she manages well enough and doesn't even see why she has to go while I'm away. Added to this is my worries about where she should go. She can't afford the sort of place she would like, and the alternatives are, to my mind, going to make her condition worse. If she is in a home with more severe dementia patients I just know she will hate it, become depressed and go downhill. The stress and anxiety is beginning to make me ill. I just don't know what to do for the best, for her, and for me and my husband.
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My mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's seven years ago and the progress has been mercifully slow. She is still living on her own in her bungalow and only in the last two years has she needed any help from carers. I have obviously done more and more over the years and long ago took over all the finances/shopping etc but she only has two visits a week to help her in and out of the bath, and four visits a week to help within evening meal.
However, she has deteriorated in the last six months and it has been noticeably more rapid in the last few weeks. She has lost a lot of weight too and it is apparent that she's just not eating much. I have had her reassessed by social services and they have increased her care package to three times a day to encourage eating, starting from next week.
Every day when I go to see her I see another example of her deterioration. She is becoming increasingly confused and I really feel that it may be time for her to go into residential care. She is already going to go into care for 3 weeks respite while I'm away in May and my feeling is that she may stay there. My worry is that I know she won't want this and I just don't know how to have this conversation with her about permanent residential care and leaving her home. She thinks she manages well enough and doesn't even see why she has to go while I'm away. Added to this is my worries about where she should go. She can't afford the sort of place she would like, and the alternatives are, to my mind, going to make her condition worse. If she is in a home with more severe dementia patients I just know she will hate it, become depressed and go downhill. The stress and anxiety is beginning to make me ill. I just don't know what to do for the best, for her, and for me and my husband.
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