Time for a care home?

Amanda1954

Registered User
Nov 5, 2006
68
0
Leicester
I'm sure this is a topic that's been raised before so forgive me for repeating, but it's the first time the subject has arisen for me and I really feel I need some advice.

My mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's seven years ago and the progress has been mercifully slow. She is still living on her own in her bungalow and only in the last two years has she needed any help from carers. I have obviously done more and more over the years and long ago took over all the finances/shopping etc but she only has two visits a week to help her in and out of the bath, and four visits a week to help within evening meal.

However, she has deteriorated in the last six months and it has been noticeably more rapid in the last few weeks. She has lost a lot of weight too and it is apparent that she's just not eating much. I have had her reassessed by social services and they have increased her care package to three times a day to encourage eating, starting from next week.

Every day when I go to see her I see another example of her deterioration. She is becoming increasingly confused and I really feel that it may be time for her to go into residential care. She is already going to go into care for 3 weeks respite while I'm away in May and my feeling is that she may stay there. My worry is that I know she won't want this and I just don't know how to have this conversation with her about permanent residential care and leaving her home. She thinks she manages well enough and doesn't even see why she has to go while I'm away. Added to this is my worries about where she should go. She can't afford the sort of place she would like, and the alternatives are, to my mind, going to make her condition worse. If she is in a home with more severe dementia patients I just know she will hate it, become depressed and go downhill. The stress and anxiety is beginning to make me ill. I just don't know what to do for the best, for her, and for me and my husband.




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PeggySmith

Registered User
Apr 16, 2012
1,687
0
BANES
My first thought is to wonder if she's drinking enough? Dehydration certainly causes increased confusion and if she's struggling with food then she might be forgetting to drink enough.

As for residential care, it's a tough decision and difficult to be sure that it;s the right time. I know I agonised over it for ages with MIL - why not see what happens with the respite stay? If she settles and improves considerably then it might be time to think about a permanent placement.
 

Amanda1954

Registered User
Nov 5, 2006
68
0
Leicester
Now why didn't I think of that!? Seeing how she goes in respite is the obvious answer. With her memory the way it is, she may not even remember that it was only temporary. I feel sure that with regular nourishing food, eaten in company, she will improve. She always eats well when she's with us or out socially.

She probably doesn't drink enough but that should be addressed once the carers are coming in more frequently from next week onwards. They always make sure she has a drink while they're there. When they're not, there's not a lot I can do.

Thanks for your reply


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