I am sure many people have faced this and if you could share your experiences I would be grateful as I think the time is coming close for my Mum to have 24 hour care.
I have had a very close relationship to my Mum and she started showing symptoms of alzheimers in 2000, when she was 58. Initally she was very distressed and confused but as time has gone on she is less confused but appears very vulnerable and fragile. My Dad is her main carer and has been amazing over the last few years. He is 70 later this year but is still very fit and active. Since October last year Mum has started having problems with going to the toilet. It started with a couple of incidents when she went to the toilet in the bedroom. Dad really struggled with this, obviously. I happened to be there the last time it happened and cleared it up, which took over 2 hours. Thankfully this seemed to stop. Then before Christmas she started wetting the bed, which has been every night. Then in the last 2 weeks the problem has been more serious, soiling the bed at night. Dad is feeling sick all the time so doesn't want to eat and is starting to accept that it would be better for both of them if she were in 24 hour care.
The area I am struggling with is that Mum is apparently emotionally quite aware. She is very anxious if Dad is not there and when I go home (they live in Yorkshie, I am in London), which is at the moment every other weekend, she gets upset if I leave her. The though of leaving her in a care home, no matter how nice it may be is very distressing. But then I am reminded that she is unaware when she soils herself so how much does she actually know now?
Any advice would be much appreciated. I am going to look at care home with Dad on Friday and am dreading it, as I know he is. I have a younger sister, who is on her honeymoon at present, I will have to tell her this when she comes back. It will be a big shock because up until she went at the end of December things seemed to be ok.
Thank you
Carla
I have had a very close relationship to my Mum and she started showing symptoms of alzheimers in 2000, when she was 58. Initally she was very distressed and confused but as time has gone on she is less confused but appears very vulnerable and fragile. My Dad is her main carer and has been amazing over the last few years. He is 70 later this year but is still very fit and active. Since October last year Mum has started having problems with going to the toilet. It started with a couple of incidents when she went to the toilet in the bedroom. Dad really struggled with this, obviously. I happened to be there the last time it happened and cleared it up, which took over 2 hours. Thankfully this seemed to stop. Then before Christmas she started wetting the bed, which has been every night. Then in the last 2 weeks the problem has been more serious, soiling the bed at night. Dad is feeling sick all the time so doesn't want to eat and is starting to accept that it would be better for both of them if she were in 24 hour care.
The area I am struggling with is that Mum is apparently emotionally quite aware. She is very anxious if Dad is not there and when I go home (they live in Yorkshie, I am in London), which is at the moment every other weekend, she gets upset if I leave her. The though of leaving her in a care home, no matter how nice it may be is very distressing. But then I am reminded that she is unaware when she soils herself so how much does she actually know now?
Any advice would be much appreciated. I am going to look at care home with Dad on Friday and am dreading it, as I know he is. I have a younger sister, who is on her honeymoon at present, I will have to tell her this when she comes back. It will be a big shock because up until she went at the end of December things seemed to be ok.
Thank you
Carla