... we were sat in Mum's living room last night when she started talking about her thoughts and feelings. Occasionally she was losing track of the conversation (though in hindsight I realise this has been happening more and I kind of fill in the gaps because I can often guess what she is trying to say). Anyway she suddenly gave a massive sigh and said "I know my brains going. It's much worse than it was. How long will it last?" I told her that none of us knew. We were sable to move away from the topic and later in the evening we had a bar-b and she came put and enjoyed some food with us etc. But it made me realise that it's over three years since she was diagnosed now, and things have changed she is clingier, can't understand money at all, and has developed little habits that I can't recall starting but are just "there" now. Things like her feet always tapping or whistling though her teeth all the time, or her inability to put her own hearing aid in. One I have really noticed is when we are at a doctors or anything like that and they touch here even lightly she really jumps and recoils. Anyway I guess I'm trying to say realising we're three years down the road has scared me a lot. Much as I don't want her to suffer, I don't want to lose her either and I suddenly feel a bit frightened - no I feel very frightened.