Just back from four draining hours with mum. when I arrived, she was in the lounge. she hates being in the lounge, with what she calls "those people"...eg other residents. However she now has to be watched 24/7 due to the constant falling over, and understandably this cant be provided if she stays in her room. She went immedietly into moan overdrive the second I got there. She had been seated next to another reasonably aware resident and even that lady told her to stop moaning! (it was funny) She then announced she wanted me to find "one of those places to kill her". I told her such places dont exist (although I know for the terminally ill they do abroad). She then spent an hour assuring me she would find a way "to do it! ". By bad chance, my older son (aged 21) is going through big trauma at present and I spent last night convincing him that his (not serious) suicide threats werent a good idea. this had eveidently worked as he had gone to see his grandmother and eaten all her sweets! I FEEL LIKE TELLING THEM TO SIGN A PACT!! On a more serious note, nothing I do or try or suggest seems to work. I have told the nurse on duty who will speak with the doctor about gettin her some anti depressents but I feel so at a loss to try and help her. she cant walk, she cant use one arm, she is mildly incontinent, she claims to be in constant pain (although im not sure I actually believe that bit), she cant really see, she is confused and forgetful which seems to get worse each day, she has paranoia and persecution complex (she was having medication for that but has had to come off it due to having stronger painkillers). She seems to think I ought to be there all day and every day and doesnt understand I have a full time job (well two jobs actually) a younger son than Mr "Im Suicidal" to see to. She is fuming that I cant go with her to the hospital on Thursday but I just cannot take any more time off work. I am frankly feeling suicidal myself at this exact moment!!!