1. Yorkshire Girl

    Yorkshire Girl Registered User

    Jul 16, 2014
    21
    I'm a very occasional poster and frequent reader who is getting great help from this forum as I watch and try to help as my mum moves from mild to moderate Alzeheimer's disease.

    This time last week the family was all gathering at my mum's house ready to celebrate her 85th birthday. She had a lovely day, with all her favourite treats and the icing on the cake was the announcement that a new great grandchild is on the way.

    And now she is lying unconscious in the hospital having had a massive stroke at some point last night. The doctors are talking about end of life care and I am sitting here thinking I don't know what.

    Bless her, she looked comfortable (who knew you could snore when unconscious) and is it so wrong of me to hope that she doesn't wake up? She has/had a reasonable quality of life but things were slowly going down hill and if she were to regain consciousness I think her quality of life would be dreadful.

    Not sure why I'm posting other than it is 3 in the morning, my mind won't switch off, and my lovely husband is fast asleep upstairs and I don't want to disturb him. I just hope my mum is sleeping peacefully right now.
     
  2. CeliaThePoet

    CeliaThePoet Registered User

    Dec 7, 2013
    614
    Buffalo, NY, USA
    So sorry for your difficult time. I understand your feeling completely. Feel a hand holding yours.
     
  3. lin1

    lin1 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2010
    9,322
    Female
    East Kent
    I am so sorry, this is such a difficult time for you.
    I too understand completely. It is the greatest kindness you wish for your Dear Mum, please have no doubt or guilt about that.

    Thinking of you
    XXX
     
  4. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,439
    Female
    Dundee
    I'm so sorry to read about your mum. I'm glad she had that lovely family party before she became ill.

    Wishing her peace and you strength. x
     
  5. Kjn

    Kjn Registered User

    Jul 27, 2013
    5,835
    Xx sending you thoughts and strength
     
  6. Pickles53

    Pickles53 Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    2,482
    Radcliffe on Trent
    No, it's not wrong. I'm sorry you are having to face this dreadful time, but it may be the kindest thing to allow nature to take its course.
     
  7. Reds

    Reds Registered User

    Sep 5, 2011
    540
    Hertfordshire
    I do feel for you as my mum had a stroke in her sleep last year in hospital. Whilst I still wanted to have 'hope' she had cancer so at least she didn't have to suffer worse as was already not eating.

    I feel so sad about my mum but all we can do is try and be strong.

    Hope you are ok.

    Reds
     
  8. opaline

    opaline Registered User

    Nov 13, 2014
    182
    So sorry, glad she's had a good life and she is no longer suffering, xx
     
  9. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    7,963
    North East England
    I'd feel that nature should be kind and take her now( and did feel like this several times with my Mum).
    Thinking of you.x.
     
  10. Rosie7

    Rosie7 Registered User

    Oct 30, 2014
    29
    I know exactly how you feel. My dad is in early to middle stage Alzheimer's at moment and isn't too bad but I watch my Mum die with late stage VD and really hope Dad doesn't have to suffer that. Thinking of you xx
     
  11. patsy56

    patsy56 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2015
    840
    Fife Scotland
    I heart and hand goes out to you, don't feel guilty, I would just hope that if she does go in her sleep then it will be painless and she will be free.
     
  12. TDA

    TDA Registered User

    Mar 3, 2015
    25
    Can only echo what others have said - in my darker moments I too hope my mum will just die in her sleep - to lessen the suffering.

    Take care.
     
  13. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    9,535
    North East England
    Thinking of you all, and no, I don't feel your thoughts are wrong, either. Sending much love and support for whatever is to come xx
     
  14. CynthsDaugh

    CynthsDaugh Registered User

    May 5, 2015
    140
    Salford, Lancashire
    Difficult, but I do know how you feel and it isn't wrong for you not to want your Mum to suffer. As a teenager I watched my Grandad slowly leave us (he lived with us from when I was three and more my Dad than my actual Dad) and like another poster I sometimes think I don't want my Mum (early mid stage) to have to go through that.
     
  15. dottyd

    dottyd Registered User

    Jan 22, 2011
    1,066
    n.e.
    I've said that for a couple of years....then feel guilty when mum has a good day.

    I hope your mum slips peacefully away . No more pain. No more distress.
     
  16. daisydi

    daisydi Registered User

    Feb 25, 2015
    257
    Norfolk
    My mum has said on few occasions that she wishes she could be put to sleep like you would do for an animal that is suffering
     
  17. Yorkshire Girl

    Yorkshire Girl Registered User

    Jul 16, 2014
    21
    Thank you all for your kind words and support.

    I am sad but relieved to say that my mum died this afternoon. Although it is a shock at the moment I know that it was absolutely the best thing that could have happened. She never regained consciousness and was kept comfortable and dignified throughout.

    Thank you so much for this forum, it has been such a source of knowledge, support and comfort. I hope one day I will be able to work out a way to repay the kindness and help that is so freely given on here xx
     
  18. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,439
    Female
    Dundee
    I'm so sorry to read your news. Sending my condolences.


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point mobile app
     
  19. jan.s

    jan.s Registered User

    Sep 20, 2011
    7,352
    I am sorry to hear your news Yorkshire Girl, but it's good to know that your mum was kept comfortable and peaceful.

    How lovely that she celebrated her birthday with her family and heard the great news about the baby.

    Wishing you strength in the days ahead.
     
  20. CynthsDaugh

    CynthsDaugh Registered User

    May 5, 2015
    140
    Salford, Lancashire
    My condolences.
     

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