"This Morning", Valentine's Day

[Brucie]

Hi Chris

I should perhaps confirm something you will probably appreciate - I've been fortunate to be able to maintain some sort of link with Jan, despite the rigours of the nightmare of dementia. Dementia was not able to destroy our relationship, though as one would expect, it has changed it in the most drastic fashion; how could it not?

That doesn't mean that, beyond that link that we maintain, the rest of everything to do with her condition is hunky dory. The whole thing is an absolute nightmare that haunts me daily but what can one do but plough on?

It just makes things a wee bit easier if every so often, I can look at everything and say "well at least that worked" or "that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be".

 

[Chris]

Hello Bruce

Thanks for replying. A long time ago now at some dementia talk I was at - one of the medics said "I'm often asked for advice - what can we do now we've got this diagnosis ? " He said "I always say - Make the most of what you have now".

At the time I felt angry - could have hit him !!! I felt he didnt understand what its like having the black cloud hanging over you - like a heavy weight pressing down - how can you enjoy anything whilst having the knowledge of what is to come?

Looking back he was right of course - and later - last year - I was over the moon when Mum opened her eyes one day and I thought she recognised me, best of all she looked happy & content - (most of the time I couldnt tell - that was the worst bit - not knowing how she was) - it was only a few seconds but I was truly elated for days - I wallowed in it !!!

When someone asked me how she was I told them what a good visit I'd had - but instead of being pleased - they looked shocked & sad - I'd fogottten for a moment their situation - not having seen Mum for years & I'd given up describing how it really was - it didnt seem to serve any purpose - but then I felt guilty for having shocked them - cant win !!!!

 

[Brucie]

Hi Chris

yes, that's the thing about our situations. When we're young and fit, we ask for, and expect, the moon.

When something like Alzheimer's strikes a loved one, a smile from them is more than enough when we know that is the most we can expect - and even then, only very occasionally and unexpectedly.

We're the modern gold prospectors, panning for a smile. But the key thing is - if we don't do the panning, we may never strike gold.

Oh goodness, I'm off on the road to allegory again. Sorry!

 

[Mjaqmac]

That's one picture Bing and Bob forgot to make Braveheart.

 

[Brucie]

Magic

I don't know how you manage it, but you always get to bring a smile with your posts. Thanks!

Now I'm off on my latest epic - "The Road to crumpets butter and jam"; my mid-morning opus.

Am in the middle of cleaning because there's some TV filming to be done at home tomorrow, ready for Monday. Got my best pinny on, and have donned curlers and a drooping cigarette to be in character.

 

[Jude]

Brucie,

Hope you've had the roof fixed......?

Jude

 

[Brucie]

Hello Jude

yes, the roof was fixed and I am now safely dry inside the house. Just need to fix the leaks in the sky now.

 

[storm]

Dear Brucie, Do you realise richard gere will be on the same programe as you! so just remember to take your pinny off and put your best bib and tucker on . storm

 

[Chris]

Oh Wow !!!!! Bruce & Norman - Are you SURE you dont need a personal assistant, secretary or SOMEONE with my unique skills - so I HAVE to come with you on Monday !!!! Nothing to do with R. Gere of course.

At last something has stirred me from a very mild depression - cant wait for Monday - even if glued to the TV !!!!!

Actually I wont be - on Monday mornings I'm at a resi dementia unit - they have one of those mega sized TV screens in lounge adn sounc level is so loud we have to shout to be heard very often, where we start off - motivating people into moving into the Dining Room to do some flower arranging or indoor gardenng or even outside on mild days. The staff will be interested in the TV programme - wonder how the residents will feel about it ? Lots of care homes will also have the TV on.

 

[Chris]

Richard Gere & other autographs

Just had an idea !

How about getting some copies of the booklet & poss other things autographed by any famous people around the studio on Monday ?

Then these could be auctioned off sometime to raise funds ?

so long as it doesnt detract from main purpose of your time ther ????

 

[Brucie]

Good idea. Hannah from the AS will be there so I will suggest that to her today.

Meantime, after all my cleaning, the TV people have just phoned to say they won't be coming to my house after all tomorrow. Ah, is there no rest for the wicked?

 

[Chris]

Michael Ball

Think Michael Ball will be there too - ooohh!!!

 

[Brucie]

Norman won't be at the studio on Monday, it will be me and another carer, called Angela [who does not use TP]. I suspect the need for Norman to be away from Peggy for a couple of days made the AS reluctant to trouble them.

Yes, Michael Ball and Gloria Hunniford are co-hosting, as far as I know.

Though Richard Gere is rumoured to be there, it was with great disappointment I learned that Julia Roberts will not be...

 

[Izzy]

What a fabulous booklet. Well done and good luck for the live appearance. My experience is very much like that of Lorna and Peter and I think the booklet is fantastic in that it covers a wide spectrum of experience, I know that not everyone has a positive exprience but - hey love does endure!! I know that my experience is bound to change as time goes on and it gives me heart to read about others much further down a horrible road who can still talk about their enduring love.

Well done Brucie and Norm.

Iz

 

[Brucie]

Here's an update!

Things never run smoothly, do they?

ITV were filming me with Jan this afternoon in readiness for Monday.

I pitched up in Nina's car because mine went on the blink en route this morning. First the engine warning light came on, then the car beeped once, then it started incessant bleeping, then the entire dash panel started to flash, the miles driven cut to a line of zeros and the external temperature reading became a dash, then the secondary panel [mostly used for radio and SatNav] flashed as well and said "insufficient gearbox lubricant". I thought at this stage it might be a good idea to stop.

I was at Hinchley Wood at the time, so parked in a friend's driveway, hoping to explain to their daughter [my god-daughter] why I was there. Unfortunately she had gone to work. My friends, long-time close friends of Jan and me, are abroad at present but I guess they won't mind!

Anyway , I rang my Peugeot garage and the mechanic asked if I could remove the CD autochanger. I said "huh?" He said "trust me", so I went in the boot and then had to say I couldn't remove it as it is built in. However, I said, the CDs in the holder were a bit wet. That, he said, was the trouble. Water gets in and because the auto changer is wired to the main engine management circuitry, it shorts the whole thing out.

The AA will come tomorrow and either disconnect the CD so I can drive to the garage, or lift and shift me to my garage.

The lady from the AA asked why I didn't want to fix it as soon as possible, so I explained about the filming. She asked me for details of the programme as her Mum has Alzheimer's, and thanked me for letting her know as she really wanted to see it.

The annoying thing about this breakdown was that this was all as I was going to be filmed; fortunately I had left lots of time, so Nina was able to mount her black charger and rescue me [not for the first time!]

The film crew turned up with a large camera and sound boom, rather too large, in reality for the small room we crawl around in. Jan was totally unfazed by the whole thing and then I stayed a bit longer, without the benefit of an audience.

All part of life's rich tapestry.....

 

[Jude]

Dear Brucie,

Never a dull moment is there...? Well done on getting to the shoot on time and in one piece. Please don't forget to video the whole thing so that I can watch it when I get home.

Nice bit of publicity for the AS via the AA -

Over here, I've been dealing with high winds and falling trees which took out the phone lines. Fortunately Telstra were able to come over today and reconnect me to my lifeline.

Good luck for Mondayl

Judexxx

 

[bjthink]

It's 11.15 and they haven't even trailed the item once!
Weird!
For the first time for years I'm watching daytime telly......

 

[thompsonsom]

this morning

Just watched this morning as i am sure lots of others have done, well done to bruce for managing to get the tp mentioned and also the quote trying to get blood out of stone when requesting help for carers.
I have to say i shed a few tears with angela when watching the film of her and her husband and yes brucie jan is a lovely lady
Well done to you both and AS for managing to get us mentioned on the show

Jan

 

[Anne54]

Dear Bruce
I still have tears in my eyes, well done, lovely, so touching and well done for the TP mention.
Anne

 

[bjthink]

That was wonderful, Brucie! You got all the necessary points across - blood out of a stone indeed........
What a marvellous advert you are for love and compassion, as well as for TP, of course.
I thought Angela's story was also very deeply moving.
A great job.