(This is me being speechless)

Kate P

Registered User
Jul 6, 2007
Well, what an interesting morning has occured.

Dad had CPN coming round again today - my sister had the girls so couldn't go and I can't keep coming out of work (they're understanding but there's limits!) plus we had said tough love was the order of the day so we were leaving dad to it.

Anyway, he rang me at work to tell me that he and mum were locked out so I had to go home to him my keys. As the CPN etc were due to arrive at any moment I said I'd wait because I was keen to see what they had to say. (I just can't help myself).

Well the SW came in first with a woman we haven't seen before closely followed by the CPN - they sit down and start politely chatting when mum suddenly points her finger in the SW face and starts yelling "dementia, dementia!!" She then leaps up out of her seat to try and go for her!!! Luckily I was sat next to her so could pull her back down and make her come with me to another room until they left. Also lucky that I outweigh her considerably and even more lucky that they'd locked thereselves out and I had to come home. Isn't it funny how these things happen somtimes? Is it God, fate, coincidence? Who knows?

I had a moment of floating out of my body, looking down on this scene and thinking "how the hell have we ended up like this?" I'm sure you all have those moments of utter disbelief. Not helpful but there we are.

Anyway, it turns out the woman we haven't seen before is to be mum's new carer to try and give dad a few hours break twice a week to start with. Well, how lovely for her to witness this display!!

They've decided mum will have to have two carers at all times because she's too "volatile". How nicely phrased!

Dad is keen to have mum's medication changed but they just keep telling him he can give her more of the antipsychotic (Promine I think it's called) but there must be other things we can try. If we increase the dose it just knocks her out which is no help because she'll be up through the night. Plus dad's concerned that the steriods in it are contributing to her weight gain.

Does anyone know what other options there are? I know FTD is a limited field but surely there are other options.

Well this has been my day so far - my head is pounding!!! It's a relief to be back in work.

Canadian Joanne

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 8, 2005
Toronto, Canada
Hi Kate,
Well, it is a blessing in one way to have your mother respond so negatively in front of several official people. They will take things more seriously now.

"Volatile" - that is nicely phrased, isn't it? Oh well, as long as it get her the care she needs.

As for the meds, I think your dad is right and he should continue to push for a review and change. You want her to be less agitated but not a zombie. It can take a while to find the right balance.

Good luck.


Registered User
Aug 9, 2007
Hi Kate

ISn't it funny the way that the fates sometimes conspires?

Whilst i am sorry that your Mum was distressed it was good that it happened in the company thatit did and that you were there to help.

Hopefully you can now get some support!

Like Joanne, I love the phrasing! Nicely diplomatic!

I hope that you are keeping well and "relaxing" at work as only a mother can :)


Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Kate, I think for the first time, you have got a result

It`s sad and sorry and dreadful, but it is not before time. None of you could have continued the way you were.

I hope your father feels the benefit from the promised support and I hope it comes quickly.

Love xx
Last edited:


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Kate, great news that the powers that be have finally seen what your mum can be like.

Also great that your dad is at last getting carers in. Hopefully, now they're in the system. more help will be forthcoming.

I'm afraid I can't help with the meds, but I'd agree with Joanne. You should push for a review.

A good result!



Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
Yes its good to read that your father going to get 2 carer in , to help with your mother .

It must of been a shock to you when you saw your mother go for that lady , but like every one said its good that it happen in front of them , as like that your father well get the right support for himself to help look after your mother in they home xx

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