Hi im just back from visiting my dad at his nursing home , as usual i look in each lounge looking for him, and there i found him huddled in a chair , dinner down his top and a blank vacant expression. Usually when i walk up to him theres a look of recognition on his face , and a cheery "hi love" Not today, he didnt turn to me , seemed to have no recollection as to who i was and when i held his hand , he moved his away i swallowed hard , telling myself to keep myself together for the sake of my dad , but inside i felt like my heart was being ripped in two. Each time i visit i see a little less of dad, hes slipping away from me and i cant stop it . I had a chat with the nurse in charge, yes dads dementia has worsened, she said , hes now immobile , and has forgotten how to feed himself although he will it when fed ! I feel so helpless, so sad, so damm angry with everyone and everything, why is this happenning , life's so cruel at times sorry for my rant , but i just felt i needed to let it go ........... and the tears are falling yet again !