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Third person in the house

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by EmilySd, Dec 30, 2015.

  1. EmilySd

    EmilySd Registered User

    Dec 30, 2015
    17
    Derby
    Hi all, I am new to this site but it seems like a great community. My Granddad was diagnosed with vascular dementia 18 months ago. He's always been fit and healthy and it was a shock to us all.

    Over the past couple of weeks he has been talking about this lady in the house who washes him and makes his and Grandmas dinner. At first we thought Grandma had got a nurse to help but it turns out that was not the case. He is convinced that there is this third person in the house. Has anyone else experienced this with a loved one?
    Thanks
    Emily


    Sent from my iPod touch using Talking Point
     
  2. nitram

    nitram Registered User

    Apr 6, 2011
    19,042
    Male
    North Manchester
    Hallucinations and delusions are common with all types of dementias.

    If they are not disturbing the person they are best accepted/played along with, challenging them is usually not a good idea and can lead to confrontation.
     
  3. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,739
    Yes, imagination is wild sometimes but also it happens sometimes because the person thinks one person is actually 2 people so he might be confusing your grandma for another person some of the time. As Nitram says if it isn't worrying him then just acknowledge (don't argue) and move on or distract!!

    Welcome to TP, lots of support here
     
  4. SherbetLemon

    SherbetLemon Registered User

    Jun 11, 2014
    8
    Hi Emily. I am new on here today and this is sounding very familiar. A few weeks back Mum kept referring to the person who sleeps in the front bedroom and keeps her clothes there {which is me}.
    It took me a while to figure it out and, although I could not be certain, based on my own experience with Mum maybe your Granddad means your Grandma but sees her as this other person in the same way Mum sees me as this other person. At the same time, she is also aware of me as being me.
     
  5. Onlyme

    Onlyme Registered User

    Apr 5, 2010
    4,999
    UK
    FIL told MIL that a really nice lady had helped him when he went to hospital, came back on the bus with him and helped him to his door. He had no idea it was MIL.

    Several years later I helped MIL out of the car and into the house. I made her a cuppa but it must have been a good hour before she knew me as me.
     
  6. chris53

    chris53 Registered User

    Nov 9, 2009
    2,929
    London
    Just sending a warm welcome to both Emily and SherbetLemon to Talking Point, as you can see much support and understanding here, do keep posting.
    Best wishes
    Chris
     
  7. nitram

    nitram Registered User

    Apr 6, 2011
    19,042
    Male
    North Manchester
    People with dementia sometimes see their surroundings as if viewed from the outside even to the extent of identifying themselves in the third person as he or she.

    This can lead to people (especially close relatives) being present twice, once as they are and a second time as viewed from the outside.

    If it doesn't upset them, and I don't think it will, don't worry about it.
     
  8. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,826
    UK
    I am usually the nice lady or that horrible one - Truth is there is only two of us in my house, I am my mother's full time carer and mum has 'split' me into two. If your grandmother is still cooking and doing for your grandfather, it is likely he has done the same as my mum.
     

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