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Think TV is talking to her

mystras

New member
Aug 13, 2018
1
0
my mother has started to think people on tv are talking to her personally

Anyone experience this ?and any idea or treatment


Regards
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
14,313
0
South coast
Hello @mystras and welcome to Talking Point.
Yes, this is very common. I remember talking to mum and she asked me if TVs usually talk to people and when I said, no, not usually she said proudly "Mine does!"
There isnt any way of preventing it - it is part of the confusion that goes with dementia, but it does mean that you have got to the stage where she is thinking that things she sees on the TV are real so you will have to start to censor her viewing habits. Mum couldnt watch the news, crime stories, or anything violent as it would distress her, eventually she couldnt watch soaps either due to the arguments and shouting (she thought they were shouting at her and saying things about her.). Some PWDs (people with dementia) have not been able to watch nature programs as they thought wild animals were prowling the house.
Just keep your ears open for things that sound like something she has seen on TV.
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,663
0
N Ireland
Hello @mystras, welcome to TP from me too. I hope you find the forum to be a friendly, informative and supportive place.

The forum is a goldmine for information so you may get great value from reading past threads. Another great place to find information is the AS Publications list and you can find that by following this link https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

In relation to communication with a person with dementia a lot of great tips can be read on the thread that you can locate by following this link https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
72,387
0
Kent
My husband used to think he was part of TV.

I've told this story before.

We were watching a particularly rowdy episode of Come Dine With Me when my husband said `Let`s not eat with them tonight. Let's eat on our own.`

I started to monitor the programmes he watched after this.
 

MorryLou

Registered User
Jun 19, 2017
67
0
Newcastle
Hi
My mother has just started to say that there is someone with a deep voice talking occasionally when TV programmes are on. She thinks it is coming through the TV.
Also she is starting to believe that what happens on a soap is for real and some things upset her badly. Generally though she is naturally watching much less TV as she says it is getting on her nerves. I guess it is because she just can't follow it as once she did.
 

AliceA

Registered User
May 27, 2016
2,877
0
my mother has started to think people on tv are talking to her personally

Anyone experience this ?and any idea or treatment


Regards
Not really, but can you try and get happy films, travel shows on? Of course easier if you are an Live in carer. I feel the emotions programmes produce can have an effect. Others may have better ideas. The news can be very disturbing!
 

LynneMcV

Volunteer Moderator
May 9, 2012
4,024
0
south-east London
My husband also had trouble with tv. Initially he would think tv presenters were talking directly to him and that scenes being played out in various programmes were taking place in the room. This progressed to him thinking he was part of the scenario.

There was nothing to be done for it other than to closely monitor what was on tv and be alert for the contents of adverts. When the disease was greatly progressed our tv viewing was limited to just carefully vetted recordings I had made of programmes which did not cause any adverse reaction.

We also began listening to music more and more to get rid of the confusing visuals he saw on tv. Mostly I played our own cds but if I had the radio on I tended to stick to stations with minimal or no adverts.

If course, it is easier to monitor when you actually live under the same roof as the person with dementia like I did - but probably nigh on impossible to manage adequately in different circumstances.
 

Fiona F

Registered User
Apr 12, 2020
39
0
56
Southampton
my mother has started to think people on tv are talking to her personally

Anyone experience this ?and any idea or treatment


Regards

Hi, yes my 90yr old mum has recently started talking to the tv, responding to what they are saying, & keeps asking what these people do for food & where do they go at night? It's impossible to reason with her - all logic & reasoning went out the window long ago! She just can't understand that these people aren't really in the room.

When I phone to check if she's ok, she says, yes the "nurse" (carer) has just gone & "everybody's here". I ask who's there - she says "well, you know, everyone in the other room". This morning she rang me at 7.15am …. groan! I was having a lovely sleep too! She said she'd just got up & she didn't know what to do about giving "the people" breakfast! I told her to switch the tv off & they'd go away & will have already had their breakfast anyway. What can you do!

I see my mum every day as she lives nearby, & she has carers twice a day. When I go round she tells me to "shhhhhh, in case the people in the other room hear us". She said she wants to polish the table but "it's very difficult with these people being here, I don't want them to think I'm being rude when they're trying to talk to me" !!!

All I can do is keep turning off the tv if this becomes a problem, or try to find on old film or something - mind you she can't actually follow a programme or film anyway any more. She has local radio on in her bedroom 24/7 - maybe I should get another radio in the lounge? She wouldn't be able to work a CD player, but I can put it on for her.

I'd be interested to hear other's experiences of this & any good ideas to help - I can't be there constantly to keep an eye.
 

Banjomansmate

Registered User
Jan 13, 2019
2,431
0
Dorset
The Banjoman would often talk about “Everybody here” but he didn’t always have the TV on, he was seeing people. Once he told me about one then said “But I know she’s not real!”
He also thought that the whole Bake Off team were in his living room one morning, including the huge vehicle. He said he wasn’t sure how they were going to get it out of his flat! He was watching TV that time But couldn’t understand when I said it was just on the TV.
Once, while he was in hospital, he told his daughter about “the penguins” and she thought he was trying to make her laugh, she never did understand that he was hallucinating.
 

Fiona F

Registered User
Apr 12, 2020
39
0
56
Southampton
Oh dear! It's difficult isn't it? When my mum was in hospital she kept on about little animals jumping up on the beds & everyone (nurses) were stroking them - baby foxes as far as I can make out! She has other hallucinations, especially at night, with a lady in the bed beside her, & sometimes a man in the bedroom & sometimes what she says must be the lady's daughter in the bedroom - they try on her clothes, move things around etc. It's so frustrating that they just can't understand reality any more. I know it's harmless enough, but I find it difficult because I just can't get my head round the fact that my mum is not the person she used to be, she's becoming more & more child-like. Today I was with her all afternoon having a big tidy up in her conservatory, so I turned the tv off to make "the people" go away. She said it gets so tiresome having them there all the time, so I left the tv off & hope she doesn't turn it on again & ring me again early tomorrow morning asking about breakfast for "the people"!
 

Fiona F

Registered User
Apr 12, 2020
39
0
56
Southampton
Just come back from mum's feeling totally exasperated & very guilty after, I'm ashamed to admit it, what escalated into an argument about the TV. I wish I could stop myself, but it just gets to the point when I'm at my wits end! I put on a programme about Ronnie Barker for her thinking she'd like that, with funny clips from his comedy programmes & clips of the Two Ronnies, which I think she remembers. But when I was talking to her she kept telling me to listen because the people were trying to tell us something. I said they can't see or hear us, many of the actors were dead & it was just a recording. We went over & over & over it, & when I tapped the screen saying "look it's just moving pictures on a screen", she said the lady on screen at the time flinched!! I said no she didn't, she was just recounting stories of working with Ronnie Barker, she can't see or hear us. Mum said she'd been brought up to be polite to people & she was embarrassed they heard us arguing. In the end I turned off the TV & she said the people would think she was being rude! I stupidly rise to the bait & say NO! they don't because they're not here in the first place! AAAAARRRGGHHHH! It's so frustrating. I know I should just play along & not get stressed out by it, but I can't seem to help myself after a while. I wish I could just play along more. I do try, & a lot of the time I do, but I get so frustrated. She doesn't know she's got Alzheimer's, & wouldn't remember (or have even registered) her initial diagnosis.
I stop short of telling her as I feel that would be very mean. Am I a bad daughter?
 

Chirpasdinner

Registered User
Jan 21, 2020
32
0
No . I fall in this trap all the time . Trying to explain it all away to them . You’re there for them . You’re a good daughter x
 

Fiona F

Registered User
Apr 12, 2020
39
0
56
Southampton
Thank you. I've been feeling bad since I left yesterday, but we did speak on the phone later & I think everything's ok. I do know it's totally hopeless tying to reason with her, but I guess there's a part of me that's in denial & angry & upset that mum has become like this. She's not like my mum any more, she's like a child.
I'd be doing myself a big favour if I could always just go with it when she tells me about "the lady in her bed", the "lady's daughter" in the room, "a man in the bedroom", "bugs crawling all over the carpet", the people on tv talking to her, watching & listening to her, a particular plant in the front garden "jumping up & down all day onto nextdoor's roof", moving stuff & clothes around, cuddling her tablet dispenser on her lap & blowing it kisses ......… etc etc. Every day so many ridiculous things she does & says & thinks - sometimes it just becomes too much for me & I get exasperated with her. She can't help it I know, & I must be more patient. All the responsibility falls on me, an only child. She has carers twice a day, but other than that she's dependent on me, & it's hard, like 'Groundhog Day' every day after work. My husband & I don't have children so I'm not used to having someone be so dependant on me & be 'on call' 24/7. I shouldn't complain - reading some people's posts they have an absolutely awful time with their partner/parent with dementia.
 

Nannyslittlechip

Registered User
Apr 1, 2020
18
0
52
Liverpool
I’m so glad I came on here to read all this. I just thought it was my mum that did this. I don’t live with her but my brother does. I’ve told him to put the radio on instead as I do when she stays in mine but he doesn’t. He’s banned her from watching the chase though or any quiz show because they were all in the house all the time. She despises Ann Hegarty off the chase 🤣🤣 and now she can’t stand Philip Schofield. It’s a case of monitoring what they watch but most of the time the telly is their only companion. Xx
 

Andi14

New member
Dec 7, 2020
1
0
Hi, yes my 90yr old mum has recently started talking to the tv, responding to what they are saying, & keeps asking what these people do for food & where do they go at night? It's impossible to reason with her - all logic & reasoning went out the window long ago! She just can't understand that these people aren't really in the room.

When I phone to check if she's ok, she says, yes the "nurse" (carer) has just gone & "everybody's here". I ask who's there - she says "well, you know, everyone in the other room". This morning she rang me at 7.15am …. groan! I was having a lovely sleep too! She said she'd just got up & she didn't know what to do about giving "the people" breakfast! I told her to switch the tv off & they'd go away & will have already had their breakfast anyway. What can you do!

I see my mum every day as she lives nearby, & she has carers twice a day. When I go round she tells me to "shhhhhh, in case the people in the other room hear us". She said she wants to polish the table but "it's very difficult with these people being here, I don't want them to think I'm being rude when they're trying to talk to me" !!!

All I can do is keep turning off the tv if this becomes a problem, or try to find on old film or something - mind you she can't actually follow a programme or film anyway any more. She has local radio on in her bedroom 24/7 - maybe I should get another radio in the lounge? She wouldn't be able to work a CD player, but I can put it on for her.

I'd be interested to hear other's experiences of this & any good ideas to help - I can't be there constantly to keep an eye.
Hi Fiona F
I honestly love your post, makes me feel normal. I am caring for my mum in law who we have move in with us. She drives me absolutely crackers over the tv. Just like your mum, she honestly believes they can see her, she will talk to them, even tell me to be quite as she’s listening to the lady in the advert that she needs to buy the shampoo. Of which she becomes obsessed with having as the girls told her she had to have it. (I bought her the shampoo but she won’t use it)! It’s very frustrating but I have to practice my patience every single day, just agree with her and leave the room. There no point arguing as she just doesn’t understand. But for the career it’s so frustrating!!!!
 

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