Think my dad has early stages of dementia

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Dementia Talking Point' started by Badger20, Oct 13, 2019.

  1. Badger20

    Badger20 New member

    Oct 11, 2019
    2
    Hi, new to this page but feeling I need a little advice .My dad is 85 . These last 18 months especially I feel he has gone downhill in a lot of ways. Forgetful, mobility, food hoarding, very aggressive in manner, losing weight, sleeping an awful lot.My mum has washed her hands of him . He has been violent towards her on 2/3 occasions and she is not caring or sympathetic towards him anymore.I think situations are inflamed by the way they speak to each other. I phoned my dads GP in the summer expressing concern on the above. He said we needed to get him into the surgery. My dad is diabetic so sees a nurse and thinks that she is a sufficient , but we keep saying he should see a doc. He won’t allow either me or my mum to any of these appts. He still drives which I don’t think he should due to his mobility. He has had blood tests and says all is ok but we havent seen any letters. He is very much in denial when we express concern.He talks away any confusion he has and becomes angry. My brother is pretty useless, he doesn’t really see how bad things are. I have a teenage son with special needs, I only have 2 afternoons off per Week and only see my parents on a Sunday . My mum said this week she has had enough and I triedto to explain about the possible illness he has and if she wants to leave we would help. I feel all this is a lot to deal with. My parents wouldn’t forgive me if they knew I had rang the surgery but I feel something needs to happen. I don’t know if I could cope with my mum leaving him and then a diagnosis for my dad and dealing with both situations. Sorry for the long thread.
     
  2. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,989
    Male
    Bristol
    Welcome to DTP @Badger20. You did the right thing by telling your dad's GP what is happening. It might be worth reporting your concerns to adult social services, and tell them your mum is on the verge of leaving. The question of consent and capacity might stop them, but they have a duty of care to offer help and should know what is happening.
    For the communication problems https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/ is a useful guide.
    Other on the forum will have more experience of your difficulties, and that of getting a diagnosis when the person concerned is in denial, so you will get better advice and plenty of support.
     
  3. Badger20

    Badger20 New member

    Oct 11, 2019
    2
    Thank you for your reply.
     

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