Think I've found the right care home .... fingers crossed

[notsogooddtr]

I think everyone deserves decent care not just those who are self funding

 

[SnowWhite]

I think everyone deserves decent care not just those who are self funding

Absolutely! That part came out wrong. What I meant was some people just keep quiet because their relatives are getting their fees paid, they're not having to contribute anything and at least the home is clean even if the Care is sadly lacking.

Sadly there are many in that home that don't get visitors at all and it says a worry to me that they could be being treated in such an uncaring way.

 

[SnowWhite]

Sorry Snow White you misunderstood me . I was meaning when you talk about the home to people in the hospital or outside. I agree there is no point causing more upset in the home.
And your MP really should be your first port of call. Find out when his/ her surgery is when they see their constituents and go and talk to them. My best friends husband is a consultant cardiologist and medical director of a large London hospital and it was he who told me that this is the most effective way to get things moving.
Big hugs jane

I see what you mean. There's no way I will cause upset at the home, we've got Mums belongings and I'm done with them!

I'm sure I read our MP is having a surgery close by soon so I will look into that. Xx

 

[notsogooddtr]

Have you found a place for Mum after discharge?I hope everything works out for you

 

[Kevinl]

Absolutely! That part came out wrong. What I meant was some people just keep quiet because their relatives are getting their fees paid, they're not having to contribute anything.

So the relatives who aren't paying don't care as much as the ones who are contributing? They're more prepared to overlook any wrong doing than you.
It might be that the first comment "came out wrong" but the second one isn't much better in my view.
Is the implication that people who are LA funded more likely to "turn a blind eye" to rule breaks, I think not.
They also have a first defence not open to self funders, if Social Services get a lot of complaints from relatives of people they're funding about a home they can investigate, they have to, as that person is there under their care so they are responsible.
Any care home that has LA funded residents is far more bothered about losing that business and the harm to their business's reputation that would cause.
I know that some of the LA funded relatives have issues with their care and do send social workers to the home to investigate, the home are way more frightened of that than a self funders relative complaining, they can just dismiss you as a Moaning Minnie, not that you are but it's much easier to give a self funder notice if you don't like the relatives than it is when you have to justify it to social services.
Out of interest how do you know who is and who isn't self funding? What about the people who; give up all their pensions private and state and get some LA funding are they LA funded in their attitude or self funded?
K

 

[SnowWhite]

So the relatives who aren't paying don't care as much as the ones who are contributing? They're more prepared to overlook any wrong doing than you.
It might be that the first comment "came out wrong" but the second one isn't much better in my view.
Is the implication that people who are LA funded more likely to "turn a blind eye" to rule breaks, I think not.
They also have a first defence not open to self funders, if Social Services get a lot of complaints from relatives of people they're funding about a home they can investigate, they have to, as that person is there under their care so they are responsible.
Any care home that has LA funded residents is far more bothered about losing that business and the harm to their business's reputation that would cause.
I know that some of the LA funded relatives have issues with their care and do send social workers to the home to investigate, the home are way more frightened of that than a self funders relative complaining, they can just dismiss you as a Moaning Minnie, not that you are but it's much easier to give a self funder notice if you don't like the relatives than it is when you have to justify it to social services.
Out of interest how do you know who is and who isn't self funding? What about the people who; give up all their pensions private and state and get some LA funding are they LA funded in their attitude or self funded?
K

Sorry Kevin everything is coming out wrong and that's down to sleepless nights and endless worry about my Mum.

We live in a small rural community and I personally know at least 5 people in the home and also their families and they have told me about their circumstances.

I have also got to know a couple more relatives and we chat in the car park about the peculiar set up and defensive attitude in the home.

I don't know about where you live but here all homes are bursting at the seams and there are waiting lists and it is a genuine worry for families that if they say too much or complain they will get told to leave.

I also know that a couple of people, like my Mum, have just disappeared as quickly as Mum has and I suspect their families have removed them.

I didn't mean to offend anybody.

 

[SnowWhite]

It can be a bleak future indeed. My neighbour was just here and we were discussing this. She is mid 60s and is already wondering what her future holds as she has no children and no siblings.

I feel particularly guilty because my mum hasn't been happy for some time and the Care home put it down to her alzheimers but she really isn't that bad. She is fully able to tell me in detail about how little food she gets, how her morning tea is often almost cold, how she never gets fresh fruit, how the girl who gets her up always leaves on her wet gloves after washing her and her clothes then get damp. She tells me a new staff member got told off by management who came into Mums room and told the woman that she would have to go faster and not spend so much time with each resident.

It's all really depressing.
Thanks xx

 

[SnowWhite]

Social services are now involved and looking into my complaints.

 

[AlsoConfused]

Good for you - and thank you on behalf of every vulnerable person who doesn't have anyone to protect them.

There's such a dire shortage of care homes the temptation is to accept anything because of it being (possibly) better than nothing.

We've seen the awful effects of letting care standards slip and failing to act early and appropriately over abuse at Winterbourne View (and elsewhere). The care and abuse just get worse if not challenged.

 

[SnowWhite]

Good for you - and thank you on behalf of every vulnerable person who doesn't have anyone to protect them.

There's such a dire shortage of care homes the temptation is to accept anything because of it being (possibly) better than nothing.

We've seen the awful effects of letting care standards slip and failing to act early and appropriately over abuse at Winterbourne View (and elsewhere). The care and abuse just get worse if not challenged.

Thank you. I did think about just getting Mum out, drawing a line under it and carrying on but I just feel I can't. everything I told the social worker she said "no that's not right." She kept saying that people in care should feel it is their home and shouldn't feel bullied or intimidated. Mum is not so bad that she doesn't realise she is not being treated right and not getting what she was promised but many of them in there have nobody looking out for them.

 

[Moggymad]

Well done SnowWhite you have done the right thing & gone with your conscience. I hope you get to know what happens & let us know too. Your mum is safely away from that place. I hope she is feeling better & improving.

 

[Scouts girl]

Just to reiterate what others have said SnowWhite. Well done for keeping your mum safe and away from her previous care home. Sometimes our emotions can blindfold us to what really goes on within the care environment. It is so sad that some people have nobody to look out for them and wonder just what goes on in some care homes. You take care of yourself too and keep in touch to let us know how things develop for you both xxx

 

[SnowWhite]

Update. I have finally had a reply from the LA to say they are looking in to my complaint. It's taken them since the beginning of September!

 

[Scouts girl]

Oh that is good news SnowWhite albeit a few weeks to reply. I do hope you get a fair and justified response to your complaint. Hope you and mum are ok. Keep us informed of the outcome. Xx

 

[SnowWhite]

Thank you Scouts Girl. Mum said today she doesn't want to leave the rehab hospital where she is now. She loves the staff, her room, the food, the Care, just everything! I have explained that she will have to soon. They have given me a notice of discharge paper so it's not a shock when it does come. The Nursing home we have her name down for has 2 or 3 people ahead of us on the list so it could be weeks or months before they have a bed. I'm told if they need to discharge Mum before then they could send her anywhere which worries me and is starting to worry her now. She went through such an awful time at her last Care home that I couldn't bear it again.

Anybody got any bright ideas?