I'm new on here too...I care for my M in Law..she has lived in a granny flat attched to our house for 2 i/2 yaers...she developed dementia when we went away for the weekend..she didn't eat and went into a diabetic coma..whenshe woke up...vascular demantia..mind you it took a few months for a diagnosis...i kept telling them in the hopstial that she wasn't 'herself' but they weren't interested...anyway...the dementia is well and truly here to stay. it's had a massive effect on all of us..not least my 10 year old daughter. She's had to have a bit odf counselling to help as she's been feeling quite rejected as I'vbe had to spend so much time with my M in Law. Initially there was no way i would consider her going in a home..but things have got so bad for me )in my brain..that I wouldn't have aminures hesitation...well..almost. Last week she was playing up with her food (I think she uses it for attention) and my husband said that if she didn't eat she'd have to go in a home and they wouldn't cater for her as I do. She said'well I won't eat'..my husband said 'well you could die' and she said 'yes I know'....so that makes us feel guilty..but her condition is affecting all of us.....we are sort of stuck between ' a rock and a hard place'!!!