Things not going well....


Registered User
Feb 20, 2006
North West England
I've been busy this last week or so, so have not really been able to read much / or post much on here.

My husband is in ICU and has pneumonia.
It's serious, and things look VERY BAD.
He has been on a ventilator for over a week now, and is not responding to any treatment.

I've had 'the end' chat with the Senior Consulatant.
We both cried.

Unless some miracle happens I beleive it is just a matter of time now.

It's so very difficult watching someone drift away from you.

VaD has been controlling our lives for so long now, it's cruel for the end to be this way.

I thought I'd share what I've been up to, as I know people on here are kind and concerned for one another.

I'll be in touch.

Take Care



Registered User
Dec 1, 2006
Thinking of you both

Hello Daisy, really sorry to hear your worrying news. Thinking of you both and hoping that things improve for you both. Love


Registered User
Apr 30, 2006
Hi Daisy
I'm sorry to hear this.
I understand what you are going through and just want to send you my love
Love Wendy xx


Registered User
Dec 27, 2004
hi Daisy. i have been thinking of you recently , and worried how you were coping ,i am sorry things have taken this rapid change,as often happens, i know you dont have much family support , but people on TP do care about you , take care. ANGELA.XX


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Daisy, so sorry to hear your news. That situation is so hard to bear, knowing there is nothing you can do to help.

Look after yourself,


Gill W

Registered User
Jan 31, 2007
Co. Durham
Another one here, words can't help very much, but my thoughts are with you.

Another prayer added to my list this evening.

Take care of yourself. Lots of love and hugs.



Registered User
Mar 16, 2005
I was also wondering how you were getting on Daisy, I'm sorry to hear your news, thinking of you.

Love Hazel.


Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
I also was wondering about you for a while , but I know you know that we are always hear for you when your ready to post , I am sorry to read what is happening to your husband , my thoughts and love are always with you , especially at this time xx


Registered User
Apr 19, 2006
Cheshire, UK.

So dreadfully sorry to read your post. Sending you love and BIG hugs,and thinking of you at this sad/anxious time.

Jan. Xxx


Registered User
Feb 20, 2006
North West England
No change....

Dear TP family,

Still no change with my husband.
Not even a slight improvement.

Family (in-laws) FINALLY supportive, but really it's too late to make it count.
They should have been here to support me over these last few years.

I've been meeting such nice families in the hospital in similar 'situations-ish'.
We kind-of have our own TP family in the relatives room.
We've all laughed and cried together, and still the days drag on for us all.

Take care everyone, and again A BIG THANK YOU for yout thoughts and kind words.

I'll be back in a day or so.

Take Care,



Registered User
Feb 20, 2006
North West England
Bit of an update.. still not going well though...

Hi All,

I'm back with news on husband.

He's still in ICU and currently being weaned from the main ventilator.
He 's not as sedated as he was, as they need to wean him off the sedation as well.

The moving ahead plan is to hopefully get him to the High Dependency Unit in the next week or so, but his breathing needs to be a LOT better before this happens.

He does not really know 'who i am' and i'm not sure if this is because he is still under the influence of the sedative drugs... or he does not know who I am in general.

The 'supportive in-laws' :rolleyes: , are still in a sort-of support mode... but this can vary.
I still do not trust them.

His brother is CONVINCED that he had a conversation with him, and has told the rest of the family this.
The thing is... he can sometimes 'respond a little', to any questions asked to him, by nodding a little.... or shaking his head 'no'.
BUT if you were to say that 'the sky is red... for instance...'.... he would nod 'yes'....
He has a 'trachy', and can't talk... right now.
He brother told the others that he was mouthing a conversation to him... and that he understood EVERY word he was trying to say.

I've been told my my moaning MIL (sorry), that I HAVE TO agree with what the others have been told by their brother ... as it is TOO UPSETTING for them to face the truth.

BUT what about me?

Thought I'd give you all a quick update.
Sorry it's not better news.

Take Care,


Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Dear Daisy,

I`ve only just caught up with your latest news as I`ve been away.

I`m sorry your husband has been so poorly, and wish you both, all the best.

His family sound so much like outsiders, who want to show they are insiders, by the special conversations, only they seem to have.

I`m glad you have another TP family at the hospital, it`s wonderful how quickly these relationships develop, when you meet as strangers but share a common bond.

Thank you for keeping us posted. There are so many here who really care.