1. BabyBoomer

    BabyBoomer Registered User

    Oct 13, 2014
    35
    Dad has really settled in his nursing home now. He went at the end of Oct and now calls it home. The staff are caring and attentive when he needs it. His health has good days and bad days and the Alz also good and bad days. He is physically frail but still knows me and asks after family but not by name, I think the word "family" covers it for him without actually knowing who they are. We have the same conversation I've and over again every visit so I tend to keep visits to a couple of hours 3 times a week. He still enjoys going out so we go out for pub lunch every Sunday. It can be hard to find somewhere wheelchair friendly but we do. I cut up his food as a matte of course, after asking him and lost embarrassment at keeping food on his plate. Now he is falling asleep mid meal sometimes and is very tired, last summer we used to go out for the day to the coast and he really enjoyed that but I suspect those trips are a thing of the past - but hey he's 91 so tired can be expected. He has had sleep disturbance which seems to have calmed, it may happen again.

    What I am trying to say, in a long winded way is that things can get better, I tend to take things day by day and cutting down on visiting means I am enjoying his company. So to those going through tough times it's not all doom and gloom, I have found great comfort in this page, just knowing somebody out there understands is huge. God bless to those having hard times xxx


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  2. pony-mad

    pony-mad Registered User

    May 23, 2014
    1,073
    Mid-Wales
    It is lovely to hear that your Dad (and you!!!) are getting quality time together. For those coping with the trials and tribulations of living with Dementia, maybe there is light at the end of the tunnel?!?


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  3. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    9,535
    North East England
    What a lovely post, thank you for sharing, and long may it continue :). xx
     
  4. BabyBoomer

    BabyBoomer Registered User

    Oct 13, 2014
    35
    Thankyou both for your comments , I think one of the main things that helped was changing my behaviour. I was visiting every day at one point when things for Dad were changing, to give him an anchor. It took a friend who also has a parent in similar situation to tell me I was running myself ragged and that would be of no help .

    I have amended the number of times a week I visit, I also take some knitting or crochet so that I can cope more easily when Dad dozes, sometimes mid conversation. I take my dog and she is a cuddle on 4 legs and does the rounds, dispensing cuddles wherever she can get a nose in. I can read his notes whenever I want, and talk to carers and nurses about his state of health. This makes for a nice visit, (there are exceptions when he's not too good). But these times I try not to beat myself up over and enjoy the others.
    I am very fortunate to have a good friend in a similar situation so we help each other (coffee and dog walks play a big part) I've also had help from Alz society and Age UK big time. Xxxxxxxx


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  5. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    9,535
    North East England
    I love that you take your dog - what a good idea! I bet she's very popular :)
     
  6. BabyBoomer

    BabyBoomer Registered User

    Oct 13, 2014
    35
    Hi college girl, yes dog very popular, all the residents love her. She even does the meds rounds with the nurse. One non verbal lady even smiles and says "yes" when we get her to stroke the dog. Xx


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  7. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    9,535
    North East England
    That's just lovely x
     

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