1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

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    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

things can only get worse.

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by bebee., Aug 27, 2006.

  1. bebee.

    bebee. Registered User

    Mar 24, 2006
    12
    oxon,south.
    here goes. previous threads instigated by grandaughter,but the facts are---3 years of absolute hell. I did 30+years of psychiatric nursing in most trying situations, including geriatrics, mainly as a charge nurse with 6 staff per ward, but it was easy compared with my current situation. I feel as if I've been emotionally " lynched " The 18 hr. days of physical input is almost rewarding in a masochistic way,but the isolation and lack of communication with a shadow of my wife is devastating!! I have organised a virtual private nursing area at home and have every safety devices in place, including the usual outside help; eg. GP, CPN, Age concern,but it makes little difference. All shopping is done online somehow. I am never more than 10 feet away from my wife, and am constantly wrestling with her to prevent injury. There is always someone worse off though, and I wish them well ! Ah well, I feel better now sorry to moan.
     
  2. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    Hi bebee

    Don't be sorry its good to express how you feel I know what you mean . Join the Club :)

    Yes I am always been told
    but it sure don't feel like it .
     
  3. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    1,170
    Australia
    [QUOTE=bebee.]here goes. previous threads instigated by grandaughter,but the facts are---3 years of absolute hell. I did 30+years of psychiatric nursing in most trying situations, including geriatrics, mainly as a charge nurse with 6 staff per ward, but it was easy compared with my current situation. I feel as if I've been emotionally " lynched " The 18 hr. days of physical input is almost rewarding in a masochistic way,but the isolation and lack of communication with a shadow of my wife is devastating!! I have organised a virtual private nursing area at home and have every safety devices in place, including the usual outside help; eg. GP, CPN, Age concern,but it makes little difference. All shopping is done online somehow. I am never more than 10 feet away from my wife, and am constantly wrestling with her to prevent injury. There is always someone worse off though, and I wish them well ! Ah well, I feel better now sorry to moan.[/QUOTE]

    I too have worked in some very harrowing positions, but none compares to how you feel when your loved ones are involved, does it? I remember many years ago being quite huffy when a wise person said to me (something about children) - "you will feel differently when you are a mother". I certainly learnt the truth of that! Now I am learning about how the most professional attitudes, the best academic knowledge, etc. amount to very little when it comes to caring for AD patients in your own family! And my role is nothing like as burdensome as your's!

    With great admiration and my best wishes,
    Nell
     
  4. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    1,656
    Sheffield
    Hi Bebee
    Don't feel isolated any more....you've got loads of support here and it really does help to know that there are so many out there who understand.....I'm sure I couldn't cope without it!!!!
    Don't worry about moaning or letting off steam....does you good!!!
    love and hugs xx
     
  5. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    Yes maybe there is always someone worse off but we all have our own particular problems to handle. My husband is not at your wife's stage but my heart goes out to you. Just sounding off here does seem to help so do it as and when you can. Best wishes Beckyjan
     
  6. Grandaughter 1

    Grandaughter 1 Registered User

    Jan 17, 2006
    141
    Hampshire
    I really feel for you. Your situation very much describes how my Nan is feeling looking after Grandad. The 10 feet description is very true. My Nan felt so guilty a few weeks back as she nodded off and Grandad wondered off across a main road!

    Louise x
     

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